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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that it’s fine for them to bath together ??

81 replies

amicableAs · 20/06/2019 15:28

7 and 9 year old siblings (ds 7 dd 9 (just))

Dm has told me its ‘disgusting’

They have fun ! They play potions and with the bath toys she’s basically told me it’s inappropriate and disgusting ??
I think this says more about her tbh

OP posts:
xSharonNeedlesx · 20/06/2019 15:29

If your children are ok with it then there’s no harm. As soon as one of them wishes for privacy make sure they have it though.

HJWT · 20/06/2019 15:30

@amicableAs guess it depends on the person personally wouldn't let my 7&9 YO bath together but everyone is different wouldn't call you disgusting for it

Birdie6 · 20/06/2019 15:32

I think it's fine ! I'm sure they've been doing it all their lives, and they have fun. Let them enjoy themselves. Your DM can have her opinion but this is a perfectly normal activity. No doubt your DD will start to want privacy in the bath soon, when puberty starts to kick in, and the split will happen naturally. No need to step in and prevent them from having fun.

Original poster
amicableAs · 20/06/2019 15:32

They ask to bath together as want to play they are v close. They have sep bedrooms but a lot of shared interests and get on well they just like making these potions etc ! I’m quite shocked dm has had such a go at me

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 20/06/2019 15:43

I think DS was just about 9 when he stopped wanting to bath with his little sister’s: used to chuck the 3 of them in together. I’m sure they’ll tell you when they want to stop.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 20/06/2019 15:44

Sisters

Original poster
amicableAs · 20/06/2019 15:49

Yes for the last year or so I’ve always given a choice and they want to. She’s made me feel a bit upset but like I said I think it’s more her issue than anything else

OP posts:
QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 20/06/2019 15:53

I think they're a bit old for that, but there's nothing wrong with it.

LoveIsHope · 20/06/2019 15:54

I think this may be a generational thing. My MIL told me she used to bath her DC (of the same sex) together, but she used to keep their pants on!

Peterpiperpickedwrong · 20/06/2019 16:04

My MIL told me she used to bath her DC (of the same sex) together, but she used to keep their pants on!

😂 That is bonkers. Surprised she didn’t make them keep vests on too!

If I stayed at a friends house we would be shoved in the bath together and I have siblings both M & F & we were all bathed together. It’s fine until the oldest decides they want a bit of privacy really.

MyOpinionIsValid · 20/06/2019 16:07

I think 9 is about the time own space is needed but I dont see anything wrong with it if both are still comefortable. It's not 'disgusting' but its pushing the limits

Jamieson90 · 20/06/2019 16:08

Think it depends on the sexes involved. 2 brothers and 2 sisters absolutely fine. However, a brother and a sister sharing a bath at those ages would be a bit odd.

I'm sure they'll tell you when they're not happy with the arrangement.

Fyette · 20/06/2019 16:13

As long as they are happy, it is fine! They're brother and sister, and little kids. Please don't make them feel awkward or ashamed about their bodies around one another before they need to.

DogInATent · 20/06/2019 16:15

Surprised she didn’t make them keep vests on too!
Stitched in for the winter... no doubt between Halloween and Easter bathing with their pants on automatically included their vests too.

Bumply · 20/06/2019 16:23

I had two boys, so less of an issue, but I think ds1 was around 9 when he started to want more privacy for bathing, changing etc. So I'd tune in to what you're dd is happy with and let it be driven by her.

peonypower · 20/06/2019 16:43

I let my two decide for themselves when to stop sharing...it was around 9-10 for the oldest (other child 2y younger)

Coldilox · 20/06/2019 16:45

It’s fine for as long as they are happy with it

Banhaha · 20/06/2019 16:59

They are probably getting to the age where it will be difficult for them both to fit in the bath soon anyway. But as long as you give them both a say then I don't think it's a problem for now.

adaline · 20/06/2019 17:03

I think it's coming to the age where it's a bit odd, tbh.

Bluerussian · 20/06/2019 17:05

I wonder what your mother would say if they bathed with you :-). I used to bath with mine up until about age of 8, never thought anything of it.

Nothing wrong with it at all as long as the kids are happy doing it, it will phase out soon enough.

Roseandrhubarb · 20/06/2019 17:07

It’s not disgusting but to be honest I felt uncomfortable being bathed with my brother but didn’t know how to articulate it so I wouldn’t assume that because they don’t say anything they are fine with it.

Rystall · 20/06/2019 17:08

Hate it when little kids are made to feel ashamed of their bodies. Or when adults project adult thoughts and feelings on to them. It’s not right. Let your children decide and respect their wishes as soon as they want privacy. Whether that’s at age 5 or 10.

MotherForkinShirtBalls · 20/06/2019 19:54

My 9yo ties herself in knots with her robe getting into the bath so the 7yo doesn't see her, but she's the one who requests they share a bath Confused. I offer them both a bath or shower every time and they more often than not pick the shared bath. I'm happy to let them share as long as they are happy.

HomeMadeMadness · 20/06/2019 19:59

Your kids will tell you when they're no longer comfortable with it. I would never force them if they don't want to but why make them uncomfortable about their bodies before they need to be?

elliejjtiny · 20/06/2019 20:01

It's fine as long as they are both happy. I still bath my 8, 6 and 5 year olds together sometimes.