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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that it’s fine for them to bath together ??

81 replies

amicableAs · 20/06/2019 15:28

7 and 9 year old siblings (ds 7 dd 9 (just))

Dm has told me its ‘disgusting’

They have fun ! They play potions and with the bath toys she’s basically told me it’s inappropriate and disgusting ??
I think this says more about her tbh

OP posts:

NaviSprite · 20/06/2019 20:22

My brother and I used to bathe together until I reached the age of 9 (I started puberty then - ridiculously early) I see no problem with it.

Goldmandra · 20/06/2019 20:26

What, exactly, does she think is going to happen?

BlueMerchant · 20/06/2019 20:32

My DS and DD 8&9 share a bath. Occasionally they will have a shower separately but still enjoy a bath together.

IncrediblySadToo · 20/06/2019 20:32

Your Mother is the one with the problem, let them be.

My friends two still sometimes share and sleep together too they’re a good few years older than yours with their own rooms and plenty of other bathing options

It’s quite sweet as at other times they’ll fight like cat & dog- it’s like regrouping.

Their NaN would be aghast if she was still alive 🤷🏻‍♀️

WallisFrizz · 20/06/2019 20:38

I think that they are too old for mixed sex siblings to bath together.

Mine haven’t bathed together for about a year (when they were 6 and 3). Whilst I’m pretty relaxed about them seeing each other naked if it happens naturally whilst getting changed etc I’ve tried to reinforce that toilet and bath time are private. Also that their private parts are, well, private and just for themselves to see/touch.

WallisFrizz · 20/06/2019 20:44

I do work in Child Protection though so maybe I’m overly cautious. I don’t have concerns about either of mine, I just want them to have strict boundaries around privacy.

gingerpaleandproud · 20/06/2019 21:08

My two DS's are that age and love having a bath together. It's all down to what your DC's are happy with.

It's really sad when adults project adult feelings and issues onto children.

Yellowcar2 · 20/06/2019 21:11

I bath my DS 6 and 2 younger DD together. I did mention it to a HV and she said it's fine as long as the kids say it is.

Willow2017 · 20/06/2019 21:13

They are brother and sister who are happy with bathing together nothing wrong with that. They will tell you when they want to stop. Tell your dm to get her mind out the gutter they are children.
let them be children natural and unembarrased by nudity within the family as long as possible. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

Many families are very relaxed about naked bodies for ever and that's fine. Others arent.thats fine too as long as they dont impress thier insecurities on their kids.

I can't see how its a child protection concern at all as long as kids know that when they want privacy that ok too. People have too many hang up about bodies sometimes. Everyone has the same basic body its no.big secret.

My eldest doesn't give 2 hoots if i see him naked my other ds does. Different personalities both fine to chose what they are comfortable with. Both know that if they ever have health concerns they can.come to me and show me no matter where it is. I have seen.it all before😀

Sparadrap · 20/06/2019 21:14

I’d want to ask her what she thinks is inappropriate and disgusting about it. Exactly what does she think is going to happen?

If the kids are happy with it then there is no issue.

Zoflorabore · 20/06/2019 21:15

There is 18 months between my brother and I. I'm the eldest and we used to have a bath together until I was 9 and started puberty.

Mine have an 8yr gap so it has never been an issue for me.

One of dd's friends is 10 and has a bath with her 6yr old sister and dd finds this odd!

SilverGiraffe7 · 20/06/2019 21:19

My DD(7) and DS(9) still want to share a bath. I'm happy if they're happy - less hassle than two baths!!

Daygals · 20/06/2019 21:19

Me and my sister used to bathe together until we'll into our teens. We used to squeeze the acne on each other backs! Now that was odd but it didn't seem it at the time.

I'm not actually sure what the answer is to you question OP. I think nine is probably borderline for being too old but otoh it seems a terrible shame to stop it if they're still both enjoying it.

Would both be comfortable telling you if they wanted to stop or would they worry about upsetting you or the other sibling?

Boulezvous · 20/06/2019 21:21

Oh let them enjoy it whilst they want to. It's great to enjoy being young and innocent before they get body conscious and shy. There's nothing disgusting about it. Mine shared for quite a while - now as older teens they lead completely separate lives!

HereForAdvice2019 · 20/06/2019 21:23

My toddler often wants to get In Bath when my 13 Yr old. Ds is in there.. I fact when anyone's in there. He insists on putting on boxers incase she tries to 'grab'
I don't think it's weird he shows her how to do thinks like pour from one cup to another etc. She's only 15 months and loves a 2ater fight with him too.
If. Ds didn't want her to then he would say

IHeartKingThistle · 20/06/2019 21:26

Mine were still bathing together at that age. They naturally stopped before DD was 10.

haggistramp · 20/06/2019 21:27

15 months between me and dbro and we shared baths right up till i was 11/12 i think. It was just normal and fun for us, and i suspect easier for dmother. Tbf we lived a fairly sheltered life and there was no internet or phones or constant bombardment of sexual images like there is now. We were just brother and sister who shared bathtime. We have both grown up to be relatively normal humans.

ludothedog · 20/06/2019 21:28

Sorry, I think it's too old. My 9 year old certainly wouldn't like it but then her body is already starting to change. I think now would be a good time to stop it and to start to talk about puberty and growing up.

MsTSwift · 20/06/2019 21:30

Nothing wrong but I also feel getting into the bit old category. Some kids start getting changes from 9 onwards know mine did.

boiseidaho · 20/06/2019 21:35

If they're happy it's fine. Please don't be like my parents, though, who assumed that because I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was no longer comfortable sharing a bath with my brother when I had very obviously started going through puberty (at an admittedly reasonably young age), that I was fine with it.

I still feel mortified about it when I think of it. He was only 18 months younger than me but hadn't had 'the talk' about puberty at school, and my parents essentially left me to deal with with his questions so that they could have it easier at bathtime.

Clare45BST · 20/06/2019 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pikapikachooo · 20/06/2019 21:53

Ah enjoy it while it lasts . Your DD will likely tire of it soon
My 8 and 11 year old (same sex) still bath together !!

sideorderofchips · 20/06/2019 21:55

My 12 year old happily baths with her 8 year old sister

Proseccoinamug · 20/06/2019 22:22

My nine year old would NOT want this. She’s developing and becoming body conscious. She’s also over 5ft tall, I don’t think there would be room!
Can they make potions in the garden?

gamerchick · 20/06/2019 22:25

It'll stop naturally, these things mostly always do. There's nothing weird about it until adults poke their noses in with their hangups.

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