To be shocked how much "ordinary" people spend on grooming?

[Daygals]

Let's start by explaining that by ordinary, I mean people on average incomes living not unusual lives. What is normal might also be regional, I live in a world of fake tans and long fake lashes.

I am shockingly low maintenance but I thought I might make a bit of an effort for a special occasion and have my brows tidied and nails done, so I looked up some salons and price lists and this is where my shock comes from.

I had no idea these things are so expensive. The list I'm looking at is a fairly basis salon, nothing upmarket and includes things lots of people I know would consider "need" doing on a regular basis.

The prices are probably fair from the point of view of the therapist's time but I can't imagine spending this on myself on a regualar basis.

Eye lashes £40
HD Brows £20
Gel Nails £30
Pedicure £20
Hair cut £40
Hair colour £80

That's before waxing and and more luxury treatments like facials or anti-aging stuff.

I don't know how often it all needs doing (monthly?) but I know lots of people who are always "done" like this I can't fathom how it's even possible/

Perfume is really weird to me. I shower regularly, I don't smell bad. Why would I want to smell of some fake flowery odour (or whatever smell perfumes have)?

It's all relative though isn't it? If you are on a high salary it's not a huge percentage of your wage.

I have a 5 month old DS I love taking a coffee to my nail salon 5 mins from house every two weeks for new gel nails... I'm away an hour which isn't too long and it's nice time to myself.

I also have eye lash extensions which means I don't bother really with make up each day or just a slick of gloss.

I agree it's a horrible pressure if you are hard up and believe you need to get stuff like this.

I know that my own daughter will live her life without paying undue attention to anything that any man or women tells her about her own bodily autonomy

How do you determine that though? Does anyone who wears everyday make-up really think they're doing so out of their own personal choice rather than pressure from external sources?

I think it's a really valid question what we're teaching our daughters (and sons). As long as we think about it on a society level and it's not a personal attack.

I wish I could do all those things but my absolute minimum is my brows. I look like a savage wolf beast if I don't.

There is only one single thing that the average women on the street can do to stem the tide of body image and self-esteem damage being levelled against us (and our children) by the cosmetics industry.

STOP FUNDING THEM.

You are literally paying them to undermine the mental health of future generations.

Stop being so bloody dramatic. Most of it is just trendy. There have always been trendy things. Not everyone has self esteem issues or low confidence. I have my hair done about every 3 months. I do my own nails. I have my eyebrows threaded once a year maybe. I like it, I can afford it.

My teenage boys spend more on haircuts and toiletries than I do.

I don't bother with any beauty treatments. A lot of things weren't available or not widely used, when I was young, so I never got into the habit of it. We all used to go to the hairdressers sometimes, although we often did each others hair. I remember the caps with all the holes in to do your own highlights! That was painful! But none of us bothered with much else. Did our own make up, nails etc, fake tan from a bottle.

My DD is 28 and not really into the KK look either. She dyes her own hair, does her own eyebrows, nails etc. But then she's always been somewhat alternative so she doesn't mix with people who follow trends.

Nothing stays the same. The current slug brow will go out of fashion at some point. In 20 years the current look will look old fashioned! I just make sure I'm clean, presentable and smell nice. That's enough.

This is like one of those boring " I spend 15 pounds a week for meals for my 16 children . How on earth do people spend 25 pounds a week ? It's ridiculous " threads

I got fake tan and gel nails for the first time for my wedding at the beginning of May. Each was £17 which in my opinion was pretty reasonable.

To be fair, I loved the tan and thought I looked great! So I can see why people do it. At the time I pledged to get one again, maybe regularly, but haven't been back yet. It's more a case of finding time to be honest rather than the money, and the fact that I'm pretty lazy with grooming!

I don't do much, because I dread it so much - I like the results, but I can never face actually making an appointment at a salon.
I get my hair cut when it's too long and I feel I can't get away with it any longer - probably once a year.
Eyebrows maybe twice a year.
I'd like to have a leg and bikini wax fr my holidays, but I've read on here that so many people seem to be completely hairless there now. So I'm worried about what the poor beauty thereapist would think.
Saves me money though.

Umm - along with the feminist position on it, there is something else that hasn't been considered.

When I did go and get my hair done, waxing, pedicures, etc, that hour was the only time somebody would touch me. I was single, not feeling well and it was my sole physical contact with another human being. It was also where somebody would talk to me, make me a cuppa and I felt more like a member of the human race.

Pedicures were also cheaper than going to a podiatrist to deal with any hard skin, nails and suchlike when I couldn't physically reach them (no real issues, so a medical professional wasn't necessary).

Men go to the barber's and can get shaves, hot towel treatments, assorted grooming, massages and suchlike.

When I walk past any of the different salons and barber's shops in
town, I see people chatting, people dropping in to say hello. They're not just there for the looking good part, they're there for human connections.

Even now, if I go into some of the places I have used in the past, they genuinely remember me and ask questions that prove it - they remember where I work, that I'm somebody who finds particular positions difficult, my hands are tender, that my skin is very reactive. If your entire month consists of speaking to nobody/just small children/just pets and swearing at the self service till because there aren't enough humans employed, that time can be precious.

Is it anti feminist to crave human contact?

It's a bit People's Front of Judea for us to criticise each other

Sometimes people on MN remind me of that, yes

STAN: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.

REG: What?!

LORETTA: It's my right as a man.

JUDITH: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?

LORETTA: I want to have babies.

REG: You want to have babies?!

LORETTA: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.

REG: But... you can't have babies.

LORETTA: Don't you oppress me.

REG: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!

LORETTA: crying

I think it becomes part of your monthly expenses and you're used to the cost. My best friend is a nails and hair person (looks v nice) and it's her normal. I'm sporadic so the cost stings more!

I am super low maintenance! I dye my own brows and lashes, I used to have them threaded but they are shrinking as I get older, I get my hair cut once every 3 months £30, I use a box dye and dye my hair myself and people think my ash blonde hair is natural so I'm doing it ok.

I use self tan wipes on my legs so not much spend there. I get one or two pedicures in the summer.

I do spend on good skincare though and take very good care of my skin.

If I had more money I would be having facials, massages, regular manicures and pedicures, the lot!

I have gel nails, between £12-£18 (depends on what I have done) every 3/4 weeks and how quickly they grow. I only have these in the summer in the winter I have the gel taken off and use normal nail varnish to let my natural ones heal.

First hair cut since last September was £22. Wont bother for another 6-9 months.

Occasionally I have a lash lift and tint which is £27, again it’s a treat for holiday, weddings etc

I do my own toes with a sensationail kit I have change the colour every 4-6 weeks.

I’m still using all the face crap from Christmas (always get loads from my mum)

Rarely buy make up, i normally go and get samples from shops when I fancy it, shave as when I can be bothered 🤷‍♀️ I’m so pale my hair is translucent, no fake tan (I go orange even with the tinted moisturiser stuff),

all in all I’m pretty cheap and low maintenance.

Well, FridaKahlo, I agree that nothing happens in a vacuum. If you drive a car, you will have been influenced into buying it, ditto a washing machine, ditto the food that you eat. Unless everybody goes 'off grid', they will be 'conditioned'.

Explain please why it is is only paying for and using beauty products and treatments that earn such scorn? And why is it always women?

There are two things I am prepared to spend any money on - beauty and education. (And gym, and perfume...)

I get the full works. I'm done head to toe. I love it. Hair, nails, fillers, tan, IPL hair removal, microblading - you name it, I do it. I'll only be young and hot once so I'll milk everything I possibly can from my good looks. I'm as puzzled by the attitude of low maintenance women as they, presumably, are by mine. Whatever makes you feel good.

I have never touched my eyebrows or eye lashes, had a wax, a manicure, pedicure, a fake tan, facial etc. I get my hair cut once a year and remove hair from my legs, underarms and bikini line myself. There is no way I would ever ask anybody else to sort out my bikini line and I find it really odd that so many people are comfortable doing so. It's not a money saving exercise for me. I just don't want any of those services. So Yanbu I find it surprising that there is even a big market for self care nevermind the amount people spend on it.

I don't think I look any less attractive than anybody else.

I wish my haircut and colour were £40 and £80! Or, actually, I don't, because you get what you pay for and I pay more than twice that.

I spend on my grooming and my house and a pretty obscene amount on clothing (serious vintage designer habit) but I drive a 15 year old Volvo. I don't care about expensive cars but I don't think it's shocking that other people do.

I personally didn't spend much on grooming and clothes before I had healthy savings and a paid-for house, but I don't begrudge people who aren't as tight as I was. Life is short.

If people can afford to it’s fine

I really resent having a ‘high maintenance’ body to start with. I could never afford to regularly get my hair/lashes/other beauty treatments done when I have to spend a lot just to look more ‘normal’
(I have very bad hirsutism, atopic dermatitis, acne, and kp)

It is so expensive simply buying enough emollient to stop my skin splitting open.

I feel for teenage girls growing up from low income families not being able to afford the ‘essentials’ when their peers can afford to get more extravagant beauty treatments

Some posters on MN seem to think that grooming, holidays, treats, kids parties even, are extravagant. But WHAT do they spend their money on? What's the point of earning a living if you can't make yourself feel and look good?

Education for my children.
Rent.
Pension.

I look reasonably decent for someone in her mid 50s. I don't take selfies all day every day and my peers don't either, so we are all happy to look the way we look, with a bit of makeup.

I colour my own hair, cut it myself (it's curly and I have had it ruined too many times to ever trust a hairdresser with it), do my own brows (tweeze and fill in with a pencil). For Christmas I usually get a gift of a pedicure from one or two of the DCs and cash them in for summer toenails. Fake tan is not a thing around here and it would look ridiculous on me anyway.

None of the current essential grooming details were even thought of back when I was in my teens and early 20s. Polished nails became a thing when my DD1 was a preteen and she and her younger sisters liked to do their own nails all through high school though at that point there were nail places where many of her peers went. It was a thing to get your nails and hair done for graduation, prom, etc. As trends go, nails have lasted quite a while.

The eyebrow thing came about through selfies imo.

Anything that needs waxing, filing, polishing or plucking I do myself. Much rather have some St Tropez and nice Essie polishes to reuse for the price of one salon treatment! Just have a colour and cut every three months and top up the roots in between at home. I'm in a professional type job. Shocked at the £99 botox mentioned earlier. If I was brave enough and flush that would be a clinic or dentist job for me, exoect to pay three times that at least!

For me - gel nails £10 a fortnight, facial £45 a month, pedicure £10 every 6 - 8 weeks, hair £20 every other month.

So about £70 a month on average.

Those prices sound steep to me!

I may get blasted for saying this but I think highly groomed women attract a certain type of man. The type of man who's obsessed with the gym, likes to spend on his own grooming etc. And I have no desire for that type of man. He would be too high maintenance for me! But young single women who are massively into this stuff are probably trying to attract exactly that sort of guy. I would be very surprised if anyone can honestly say that there has never been a time in their lives when they put effort into their looks to attract a romantic partner. I'm not saying that they might not want to continue with it for their own satisfaction but we mostly all start out wanting to impress others.

BummyKnocker I also spend money on good skincare. I always use moisturiser and sunblock. Hopefully I will fend off skin cancer, which has been an issue for many older relatives.

And actually, I got a gift of a Swedish massage last Christmas that was fantastic, so I might ask for that again if any of the DCs ask what I might like as a gift.

MitziK I agree - it is nice to get that time and attention, and the human touch.

Maybe it's worth finding out what spas or salons are owned by women and/or pay their employees decently, and patronise them?

I think it's very true that people spend disposable income, often up to the max, on whatever it is that floats their boat, and they have the right to do that. People are making a living providing the goods and services.

We tend to see what many women spend money on - shoes, fashion, grooming, face/hair. Visibility makes women an easy target.

We might not necessarily see the video games and X-boxes and TV packages and equipment, car audio, home sound systems, that others (men?) spend their money on. All of that might add up to a lot more.