Shouted at my DP yesterday

[ShoutyQueen]

This has been bugging me since yesterday. We live opposite school. Picked children from school, were crossing our road and saw my DP in his work van, parked in front of neighbours' drive, as someone, picking their children was parked in front of ours. The person was inside the car. My DP gesticulated for him to move (the parking spot in front just became available), but the guy wouldn't budge. At that moment I recognised little boy inside the car- my son classmate's little brother and was approaching my DP, when he jumped out of his van, went to the guy in front and shouted at him: 'I asked you to leave! I live here and want to park in in my drive'.

In whole fairness both of them behaved like idiots, but only one got shouted at, when he walked inside- my DP. I really could not contain my anger at him. To make matters worse, my DM, who was visiting that afternoon, sided with my DP and was telling me to stop shouting!
DP rarely home before 6, has no idea how busy our road becomes during drop/pick times and is VERY VERY TERRITORIAL when it comes to our house/driveway/garden.
He is normally ok person, never ever shouted at me or children, but he's quite rude to other drivers when in a car.

Did I have the right to shout at him yesterday?

The thing is you are the one who will have to deal with the fall out of this. Yes he was justified but there was a child in the car and he could have handled this far better. I can see why you were annoyed at the way he handled this. Like most things on aAIBU it's not black and white. And your mum should have stayed out of it.

Nicknacky i think the name calling you mean is where i have explained how hand gestures from a car look to people. Insulting and agressive, like a caveman. Apologies if my post indicated that I assumed name calling was involved. I'm trying to get across how the husband must have looked to CF parking man. By slanging match I mean raised voices and loud arguing.

Look, I feel that taking the high road when you are wronged is nearly always more effective and sets a better example to the kids. I understand that people lose their rag but that should be the exception and a sign that you've lost control of the situation. Like I said, assertiveness is good, aggression is bad. OP's husband was aggressive based on what she has said. So was OP by the sounds of things. All three parties are at fault here. CF for clearly parking over someones drive. The husband for doing his best caveman impression, and the OP for continuing this unfortunate episode, involving grandmothers etc.

You were being very unreasonable shouting at your dp. Awful behaviour. This isn't the way reasonable adults behave.

I would add them to my list like your namesake if they didn't shift though. Needle would be used.

Why are you embarrassed? Whoever parked in front of your drive should be embarrassed at not moving immediately. YABU. Good for your dp. I see some outrageous parking near school from real CF.

A move forward gesture is pretty obvious surely? If you are blocking a drive with a space in front of you, again it should be obvious the person gesturing wants on the drive or he'd park in the gap in front.

Maybe it's living by a school, i have no drive myself but see plenty of gesturing at pickup time. Shouting too sometimes though it's more from the parents irate with bad parkers.

Hopefully the bad parker won't be so bloody cheeky next time, but it wouldn't surprise me if he was...

I don’t understand why you were so angry at him. Was it because he was annoyed at the other driver, and that made you furious?

You shouldn’t have shouted at him. Even if you disagreed with his approach you weren’t entitled to shout at him. Shouting is aggressive and belittling and disrespectful, and it’s not how adults should behave to each other.

Your dp was right but no one deserves to be shouted at.

Sorry, but though I don't think it was necessarily appropriate to shout, I live on a very busy but narrow road opposite a school and people part in ridiculous places all day every school day and it DRIVES ME CRAZY so I have some sympathy for your husband. I am often confined to my house or unable to get into my drive because of bad parking. It's a bit different when your husband is a shouty driver anyway, but I'd give him a bit of slack this time. Not being able to get into your drive is rage inducing and while I'm all for a bit of give and take, my give has all been given away long ago. (No, I don't shout or gesture at anyone, I wait patiently and plan my days accordingly, but I do have some sympathy for those who 'lose it'.)

So you shouted at you husband to tell him not to shout at people 🤔🤔🤔
Is your right to shout at your husband greater than his right to shout at the random person ? How about everyone stops shouting at anyone.

But I do get incredibly frustrated by people's rudeness and idiocy when I'm in my car, and yes I would probably not be very happy with someone parking across my drive.

park - need and edit function. :-(

I think it is extremely cheeky to block someone in, and then refuse to move.

It sounds as if your DP was reactive to the annoyance of his request being ignored.

You are not supposed to block people's drive ways.

What's he supposed to do. Just sit there until the guy is good and ready.🙄

A friend of mine had this issue outside her Mum's house constantly. One day her mother was unwell and she found someone who was also parked and wouldn't move, "she'd be gone in 10 minutes".
My friend parallel parked in the middle of the road and blocked the whole school in until the police arrived, and ticketed the woman, not my friend, while she was waiting for the doctor to arrive.
Neighbours were very supportive.

The school agreed with the neighbours to forward photos of car reg into the police that were sent into them.

Not perfect, but it hugely improved the situation.

Parents around schools are often a law unto themselves.

@ Bertrandrussell - I have such a smile on my face at a partner behaving like a duck - lot of noise no real danger. Oh that typo has made me laugh. I probably should not post but better to be calm & keep theother stuff blow the water line

it made me laugh too. It’s usually a different word that autocorrect cleans up for me.......