Shouted at my DP yesterday

[ShoutyQueen]

This has been bugging me since yesterday. We live opposite school. Picked children from school, were crossing our road and saw my DP in his work van, parked in front of neighbours' drive, as someone, picking their children was parked in front of ours. The person was inside the car. My DP gesticulated for him to move (the parking spot in front just became available), but the guy wouldn't budge. At that moment I recognised little boy inside the car- my son classmate's little brother and was approaching my DP, when he jumped out of his van, went to the guy in front and shouted at him: 'I asked you to leave! I live here and want to park in in my drive'.

In whole fairness both of them behaved like idiots, but only one got shouted at, when he walked inside- my DP. I really could not contain my anger at him. To make matters worse, my DM, who was visiting that afternoon, sided with my DP and was telling me to stop shouting!
DP rarely home before 6, has no idea how busy our road becomes during drop/pick times and is VERY VERY TERRITORIAL when it comes to our house/driveway/garden.
He is normally ok person, never ever shouted at me or children, but he's quite rude to other drivers when in a car.

Did I have the right to shout at him yesterday?

Or even a dick.

Did I have the right to shout at him yesterday?

right. the right to shout at someone? only if you are an abusive prick. >sarcasm

We have parking issues at school and it drives me mental at how entitled people are when it comes to parking. I’m with your dh on this one I’m afraid

There's a fire station near one of the primary schools in my area and people actually park in front of the exit door for the fire engine, seriously don't know wtf is wrong with some people, they deserve a good shouting tbqh

My god ........ the world is full of people grumpier than me!!!!

A fool who blocks up a drive but might well have moved if simply asked. I find asking generally works for me. Shame we will never know.
A shouty twat who assumes a complete stranger knows they are blocking his drive. In my world ignorant shouty horn blowing wankers are ignored and gain nothing.
And finally a twat who chose to start a domestic in front of children over this shit.

I fail to see how either you or your husband coverred yourselves in glory with this.

Grumpyunleashed yes yes yes yes!!!!! 100%.

Bit grumpy the OP states herself her dp gestured for them to move but they wouldnt. Hence he shouted. I'm not surprised he was PO being ignored.

The person was inside the car. My DP gesticulated for him to move (the parking spot in front just became available), but the guy wouldn't budge

NauseousMum what gesture do you know of that indicates "you are parked in a manner that is blocking my drive, and I really need to get on there after a long day at work. Please find somewhere else to park"

To me any hand gestures in this instance just mean "ah!!! arsehole!!! Me bigger man, me angry man, angry man will punch you!! Ugg ugg ugg"

We live near a school. Have designated spaces for each house. If I come home at that time I expect access to my house. If I don't need it then of course people can use it for pick ups, but I won't sit there and wait for them to be ready when they are sitting in the driver's seat able to move!

DP shouldn't have shouted, but had every right to ask the guy to move. If the gesturing was ignored I'd have thought "could you just budge up so I can get on the drive?" Would have been better revieved than shouting.

If you also think it is wrong that he shouted, why is it ok that you did?

@Grumpyunleashed you say that like it's perfectly reasonable and OK to block someones drive, it isn't and it doesn't matter whether he knew it was OPs husbands drive or not, he shouldn't be blocking anyones driveway

I'm with your DP on this one, no-one should park in front of a drive.

AryaStarkWolf of course not. Just as it isn't reasonable to stand in front of a shop doorway having a conversation. Even though they're clearly thoughtless, you don't just shout "oye, arsehole, move!!"

Even if you are clearly being wronged there is still a way of handling things.

YABVVVU. HTH.

Basically no one was in the right here. Shouting and being aggressive in front of children is not acceptable any more than blocking the homeowners drive, or shouting at your DP.

Sometimes shouting is the only way to get through to these sorts of entitled cheeky fuckers who think just because they are picking up a child they can park their cars wherever they like and don't give a shit about safety or the inconvenience of those who live there.

So I can quite understand your DP shouting. I can't understand you shouting at all.

My DP gesticulated for him to move (the parking spot in front just became available), but the guy wouldn't budge.

he did ask them move, and the lazy arrogant fucker didn't!

i'm sick of people with shitty attitudes thinking "well it doesn't bother me" - fuck off sunshine - and don't park where you shouldn't

@Everanewbie Drive ways are sacred spaces though :p

ShatnersWig I agree that unfortunately that is the only way to get through to some people, but maybe a slightly more civil tact should be tried in the first instance? All this had gesture nonsense, then a full on slanging match? Is this how adults conduct themselves these days?

The other driver should have moved, but there is no need to shout, it just escalated the situation.
I’m with you op, your dp had every right to be irritated but shouting doesn’t help.

AryaStarkWolf I wouldn't let it go either. I just like to think that a normal, albeit slightly cheeky human would move after learning of the inconvenience they were causing. Maybe I'd lose it if they still refused.

I would add them to my list like your namesake if they didn't shift though. Needle would be used.

Ever You are making things up now. There was no name calling or slanging match.

Maybe your DP should have asked nicely - that would have been nice.

But what really makes me wonder, is how and why your DM became involved, and how this relatively trivial thing became a big thing in your household.

When my DP does something annoying (or I do), we do confront each other, but it's very brief, something like, Him: "wow, you really went to town on him, now I'm going to be embarrassed when I see him next" Me: "yeah, sorry, it just really annoyed me". End of argument.

Have to agree with others, your behaviour was appalling and I feel so sorry for your DP.

It’s actually not that relevant really, that DP and CF got into a bit of a spat.

What’s for more concerning is that OP couldn’t contain her anger (her words) and shouted at her DP in front of her mother, and their children.

Whether DP was right or wrong, OP’s reaction is disproportionate and if he had done it to her, people would be telling her how abusive he is.

So you were annoyed at your DP for shouting at a random, and decided to shout at your DP for it in front of of your mum.

Unless your DP is abusive, YABU.

I think your annoyance sounds justified to some extent, especially if DP is often rude to other drivers, which nobody needs to be. He could have tried politely asking the other guy to move. I guess you should have a conversation with him about why you reacted as you did.