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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Interview Feedback? Is this a bit cheeky?

83 replies

ThrowAwayQP · 19/06/2019 13:36

DH had an interview for promoted post at work yesterday.

He was told today he didn’t get the job, but was given the feedback that he gave “the best presentation of the day, and had some very good ideas.”

They would like him to meet with the person that did get the post so she can implement some of his ideas. He’s just told me this on the phone; and he sounded really annoyed. He thinks the company want to have their cake and eat it too?

Would he be unreasonable to tell them no, if they wanted his ideas implemented they should have given him the job?

I’m not posting and running; but need to pop out in a mo; so will reply to any questions/comments later.

Thanks!

OP posts:

Provincialbelle · 19/06/2019 15:00

It’s absolutely gutting for him - I’ve been through the exact same thing. Sadly it won’t help him to refuse to cooperate, but his manager should acknowledge this and push his profile in the company.

bigKiteFlying · 19/06/2019 15:09

If I were him I would wait until I absolutely had to do it then keep it very brief and low key

I'd do this while looking very enthusiastic - not least until I work out if the actual candidate wanted the ideas to implement.

Basiclly wait to get the lay of the land a bit more and work out if he can make this work for him.

I do get why he's fed up and I might suggest he starts looking at other companies just to see what's out there.

BalloonSlayer · 19/06/2019 15:23

Could he reply with something like "I am afraid I don't quite understand. If you need me to meet with the successful candidate to give them my ideas, can you please explain why I was not the successful candidate?"

chemenger · 19/06/2019 15:39

What would it be that he doesn’t understand? The company want to implement ideas their employee has had. That is what companies do. Not helping would damage future prospects. Pretending not to understand would make him look either awkward or a bit slow on the uptake. Getting feedback on areas of weakness would be appropriate but don’t imply that that would be in exchange for sharing ideas.

LaurieMarlow · 19/06/2019 15:40

There are lots of reasons why someone else got the job.

In the interests of playing the long game he should co-operate gracefully.

LaurieMarlow · 19/06/2019 15:41

He'd sound like an absolute child if he came back with that.

ittakes2 · 19/06/2019 15:46

Although it seems rude if they both work for the same company the idea is the whole company works as a team to improve things. If he does not do this he can forget about any other senior management posts

arethereanyleftatall · 19/06/2019 15:50

Balloon - if he responds something like that, he needs to be prepared for a 'because you're not mature enough' response.

Mia1415 · 19/06/2019 16:06

He would be completely unreasonable to tell them no!

He should ask for feedback on why he wasn't successful and then ask for support on how he can develop in those areas so that he stands a chance to be successful the next time an opportunity arises.

If helping implementing the ideas is too much workload then the phrase to use is 'I would love to help do X, however if I do that I won't be able to A, B, C and D. What would you like me to do'?'

Just refusing to help because he didn't get the job would be very career damaging!

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 19/06/2019 16:13

Flathead's response is perfect. I would do that. But I'd secretly be pissed off, I don't blame your DH at all for being annoyed but once he's had his initial reaction to the situation he needs to calm down and think long term.

museumum · 19/06/2019 16:15

I'd respond 'thank you so much for the positive feedback on my ideas and presentation, of course I'd be happy to help. In terms of future progression within the company which I'm very committed to, it would be useful for future opportunities to know what areas you felt were my weaknesses and what i might be able to do to address these before the next opportunity arises".

ControversialFerret · 19/06/2019 16:19

The advice to ask for fees, refuse to do it, or be obtuse, is a bad idea.

Most firms will look at how an unsuccessful candidate responds to a knock back. If they take feedback on board and carry on being professional and helpful, then the chances are they'll be successful in the future when they try again. One way to guarantee that you won't be promoted, is to behave like a petulant child who is stamping their feet because they didn't get what they want.

He'd be best off asking for specific feedback on why he wasn't successful, so that he can work this into his development plan. And in terms of meeting with the successful party and sharing his work - yes, he does need to do it. He's been asked, nicely. If he refuses then it will simply turn into an instruction - and his uncooperative attitude will also be noted.

I know it's annoying, but there's probably a genuine reason why the other candidate got it. There will be something that he needs to improve on - find out what it is and instead of feeling pissed off, channel it into something productive by getting better.

thecatsthecats · 19/06/2019 16:23

He already works there, so of course he needs to meet with a colleague to discuss things of senior management wants him to. Asking for consultancy fees would make him sound totally unreasonable.

Yep, lots of these replies are staggeringly shortsighted.

Meet. Get feedback. Ask to be part of the team implementing. Ask how he can improve to be trusted to deliver his own ideas in time. Make damn sure he gets credit and stays in touch with the progress of the project.

Sit and his hands and sulk because he didn't get everything he wanted? Don't be such a baby.

Bluntness100 · 19/06/2019 16:26

He's going to look like a right arsehole if he says no, especially because they likely only said it to make him feel good about himself.

If he ever wants promoted then he says yes and thanks and wishes the new person well.

Alsohuman · 19/06/2019 16:27

Hope he’s looking for another job, this is an awful way to treat someone. Having their cake and eating it too is spot on.

Cyberworrier · 19/06/2019 16:42

It sucks to be in his position but it is entirely possible to give the best presentation and have great ideas but not be the strongest candidate to become senior management. Colleague may have also had lots of interesting ideas presumably, company can use both employees ideas! Colleague may not have done the best presentation that day but may have a track record of being fantastic in presentations or in everything else.
Some of these suggestions sound like a sure way of getting a terrible reputation for not being a team player/committed to the company. He Can turn this into a positive- ok not as good as getting the role but he needs to capitalise on the positive feedback and interest.

Alwaysgrey · 19/06/2019 16:46

What a kick in the teeth! It would be a no from me.

VanGoghsDog · 19/06/2019 16:56

Surely as he already works for the company they already own the intellectual rights to his ideas (or whatever the exact wording is).

Exactly.

It feels unpalatable but it's entirely normal for an employer to use ideas brought forward by any employee in any circumstances and it might be good for his development to work wit the new person.

They own the ideas he came up with, not him.

If he feels it's a step too far, well, maybe they are not the right employer for him.

EarlGreyOfTwinings · 19/06/2019 17:07

It would be a no from me.

and how would you phrase that exactly? "I have great ideas, but I am not talking to you about them"? How professional does that sound to you?
What kind of future would you expect in the company with that attitue?

Huggybear16 · 19/06/2019 17:08

I can understand why he is upset, I would be too. I can also understand the temptation to say no to them.

However, if he wants to keep his job there and be considered for promotion in the future, I think the best possible reply from him should be something along the lines of "sure, I'd be happy to help".

arethereanyleftatall · 19/06/2019 17:25

How many of those posters responding 'no, I wouldn't share my ideas. Fuck them' or similar, are in senior roles with good salaries?

altiara · 19/06/2019 18:05

My initial reaction would be a no way/pay me etc etc but we’re talking a jump to senior leadership so he needs to use this opportunity to

ask for specific constructive feedback on where he didn’t meet the criteria or where others met the criteria better - then use this feedback for his development plan - share it with others so they are all aware that he is a senior leader in the making
ensure other senior leaders acknowledge the ideas were his
see if he can get in and help implement some of the ideas Hope he gets past the piss off they’re my ideas as soon as possible.

KatherineJaneway · 19/06/2019 18:06

Would he be unreasonable to tell them no, if they wanted his ideas implemented they should have given him the job?

Very unreasonable. I can understand perfectly why he feels that way, I would too, but how he reacts now will likely influence the outcome of any future promotion interview. They know he has these ideas and are really impressed with them, he can't put the genie back in the bottle. If he withholds or refuses it's just unprofessional and they basically say that they made the right decision in not promoting him as that is not how they would want a senior manager to react to a knock back.

I'd ask for further feedback specifically what the other candidate was able to demonstrate over and above your DH to secure the job. Say that this information is wanted to form part of his development plan. That at least gives him a chance to build towards another application.

I'd also second asking to be on the development and implementation team for these ideas. It would be good experience and he still gets to 'own' the idea so no one forgets they came from him (if that is possible where he works).

Lwmommy · 19/06/2019 18:14

He should look at the positives in this. He's got the opportunity to feed in improvements and show his commitment.

If I were him I would be talking to my manager about how this could become a development opportunity. How will they invest time and effort into giving him development to improve the areas he was weaker in.

May be they is the possibility of a different role focused around the improvement that he is suggesting such as a Business Development Manager, Continuous Improvement Manager or so on. If not it may be something they would consider putting into the structure if your DH could put forward a good business case.

Or he could refuse, find another company to work for or sulk and be seen as an immature pain in the rear.

EarlGreyOfTwinings · 19/06/2019 18:19

How many of those posters responding 'no, I wouldn't share my ideas. Fuck them' or similar, are in senior roles with good salaries?

I can take a guess....

Unless by fuck them, they mean fire their CVs around to find something better, which is fine.

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