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AIBU?

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Original poster

Interview Feedback? Is this a bit cheeky?

83 replies

ThrowAwayQP · 19/06/2019 13:36

DH had an interview for promoted post at work yesterday.

He was told today he didn’t get the job, but was given the feedback that he gave “the best presentation of the day, and had some very good ideas.”

They would like him to meet with the person that did get the post so she can implement some of his ideas. He’s just told me this on the phone; and he sounded really annoyed. He thinks the company want to have their cake and eat it too?

Would he be unreasonable to tell them no, if they wanted his ideas implemented they should have given him the job?

I’m not posting and running; but need to pop out in a mo; so will reply to any questions/comments later.

Thanks!

OP posts:
Halloumimuffin · 19/06/2019 13:58

Also from the perspective of the company - it's hardly their fault if they had several candidates who were all good and who had good ideas. It wouldn't be very responsible of the company to let the good ideas go unimplemented just because they weren't able to promote everyone.

LadyWho · 19/06/2019 14:04

Ugh. It is obviously very shitty of your DH's employer to put him in this position. But realistically, can he say anything other than yes without looking like a bitter man that isn't a team player?

He should tactfully make it known that it's a piss take to use his ideas but not give him the job and then he should do what he can to help out. Otherwise it could hinder his ability to gain any promotions.

DarlingNikita · 19/06/2019 14:08

Like fuck. Cheeky cats.

CripsSandwiches · 19/06/2019 14:12

It's difficult to know based on what you said. He may have given the best presentation and had some great ideas but not have as much experience in actually implementing them than the successful candidate hence him not being successful

It could also be that his employers thought they'd get two for the price of one by hiring the external candidate as they'd still get your DH but a new person too and wouldn't have to bother filling DH's current role either.

Pollywollydolly · 19/06/2019 14:15

I'm sitting here in the middle of the day looking at mumsnet because after I didn't get a promotion at work, which was given to an outside candidate, I helped her as requested and in return she deleted my role and made me redundant!

RB68 · 19/06/2019 14:16

I think I would probably say yeah sure then get me a stamp for my forehead that said Mug...or maybe a few coffee cups for the kitchen with mug on them or other passive aggressive activities - bloody cheeky really

arethereanyleftatall · 19/06/2019 14:20

It took me till I was 40yo before I realised that, in business, you just have to play the game.

EarlGreyOfTwinings · 19/06/2019 14:21

Will they pay him consultancy fees? Otherwise, hell no.

they are paying for his salary, so they are not asking for a favour.

He will look horrendously childish if he refuses! He can explain a struggle with workload at best, but otherwise he will just confirm that they made the right choice and will put himself out of the race for any promotion that comes next.

He should think long term, not sulk like a child. Or he can give his notice, but I would strongly advise him to find another job first.

KatnissMellark · 19/06/2019 14:22

He needs to play the long game here. Obviously they liked his ideas and vision but thought he was lacking in some other area that the other candidate fulfilled. He should ask for more specific feedback on what he could do better, or develop in order to be successful next time, and then ask the company to fund or support whatever development is required. He obviously has log term potential. At the same time he should share his ideas, support his colleague in her promotion and that will further enhance his reputation and increase the chance of success next time. Hard pill to swallow but you can't win them all and acting like a stroppy kid is just going to damage his reputation and make him a less attractive candidate for promotion next time.

Happinessbegins · 19/06/2019 14:23

Internal posts are tricky. They might be trying to flatter him by telling him how wonderful he was and would he share his ideas thinking he will feel better when he is probably insulted.

If I were him I would wait until I absolutely had to do it then keep it very brief and low key.

PeoniesarePink · 19/06/2019 14:23

I'd say Yes, that's fine, and what difference to my job title and salary does that make.

What a liberty!

doskant · 19/06/2019 14:23

@Pollywollydolly Sorry to hear about that. Flowers

Jaxhog · 19/06/2019 14:26

yes they can so long as he can be involved in the implementation and receive the credit for the idea?

There may be all sorts of other reasons why he didn't get the job. At least this way, he's contributing to the company in a way that puts him in a better position for the next senior job.

FlatheadScrewdriver · 19/06/2019 14:26

As frustrating as this is, after a few deep breaths I would grit my teeth and reply:

"I'm really happy to hear you want to take my ideas further, and I would welcome the opportunity to discuss them in more detail with X. They are things I am really committed to, so I would be very interested in actively contributing to implementing them. Please could we meet to discuss how that might work, and to identify ways to develop my skills so that I am a stronger candidate for future senior roles?"

WishingILivedOnAnIsland · 19/06/2019 14:32

This would really annoy me.

Could he perhaps decline to elaborate on his ideas saying it might not be appropriate given he doesn't want to step on the successful candidate's toes?

It would be so frustrating to have his ideas stolen and implemented by the team that chose someone else!

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 19/06/2019 14:32

Flathead's response is perfect.

Look, this is a chance for DH to show he is
a) a bitter loser who can't take working with someone who outperformed him
b) a team player who can take a hit and keep on working collaboratively

Let him share his ideas but show (in writing!) real eagerness to continue to be involved. Let's face it, he's already shared his ideas so that the company could just go ahead and implement them if they wanted to. This way, he is part of the project/ new initiative.

IrisAtwood · 19/06/2019 14:33

If he wants to progress then he has to suck it up I am afraid and play the 'excited team player' who wants the best for the company. He can, as suggested earlier make it broad brush and appear to be helpful but leaving the detail/heavy lifting to her.

dontgobaconmyheart · 19/06/2019 14:39

What industry is this OP? I cannot imagine any salaried worker demanding 'consultancy fees' for this contribution without being laughed at in any of the middle management roles I've been in. It's not as though payroll can just summon up random expenses in this way.

100% agree its shitty of her though, and tactless. Whether she was unprofessional or not depends on her wording though, not your DP's (justified) hurt pride.

I think remaining professional is key, your DP runs the risk of emerging from this looking bad himself if he plays it poorly. At best he might speak to her line manager about the way it was asked.

I would request further feedback if I were him though, what was it that led them to their decision if his input was so valuable. Ideas are obviously brilliant but higher level management of them is a different skill set. He can use the fact that he impressed to his advantage here long term. Promotion opportunities will come along again, as will external ones, if he has outgrown his current level- to which he will be able to add his contributions and innovations as a talking point to prospective employers. Much better to make the best of it than it is to make a bad situation worse- I'd of course sulk and be a bit sweaty at home, but accept it and move on.

I'm sure businesses utilise ideas given in interviews all the time, when the individual is not hired. I certainly have interviewed people who have made very good points or observations that I hadn't noticed. Sometimes it takes a fresh eye. It doesn't mean they would be better at my job than me, that we are equally qualified by experience of the full job role. or that they are the best overall candidate I've interviewed. I wouldn't call and ask permission or offer payment for these ideas, they are not intellectual property. It's the fact she has brazenly told him that makes it an issue - usually he would not even know. It's just the way it is.

I am a bit confused though- surely he presented the ideas so they already have them? If she is asking him if he would like to present them in some capacity surely it's a good opportunity for him anyway?

m00rfarm · 19/06/2019 14:44

I am staggered by some of these responses. Most companies will reward people who have had good ideas and which are implemented - maybe there is some such scheme with this company. However, as an employee, then you need to be seen to be working towards the good of the company. Remember the contracts that give the company the right to everything you create? I would be seriously irritated but would make sure I was somehow involved in the project and that everyone knew it was originally my idea. I would also ask the interview team what could be done to improve so I can take the next senior management role, Can you imagine how it would look when you come to do the next interview, and they remember the fuss caused because you did not want to share your ideas! Honestly - some of you need to really get a reality check here!

Redcliff · 19/06/2019 14:45

I like the idea of asking to be involved in the execution of said ideas. It is cheeky of them but if he wants to stay there and progress then he should share.

happybunny007 · 19/06/2019 14:47

How would not sharing his ideas benefit him in any way?

This!

He will look like a petulant arse. They will think they definitely make the right call.

inlectorecumbit · 19/06/2019 14:54

could he share some but not all his ideas???

nuttynutjob · 19/06/2019 14:57

Never underestimate the power of networking

Wifeynomore · 19/06/2019 14:57

Somewhat irritating but I would definitely agree to lead on projects for the ideas I had. It would give me great material for future interviews (including at other companies).

Chewbecca · 19/06/2019 14:58

Depends if he would still like to impress and seek a role in that team in future.

My organisation is huge and connections, reputations, past helpfulness make a big difference. Someone you fell out with on one project always pops up in another situation (maybe your next managers) so I like to ensure I am on good terms with everyone.