This is my most embarrassing moment ever.

[Lobsterquadrille2]

Tell me you've had worse. Walking home, the spoke of a man's umbrella knocked my wig off. Right by the traffic lights. Someone wound his window down to shout "I think you've dropped something, love".

Ok it seems funny now 😀

Haha! Thank you all

I trumped really loud when i laughed so hard at Alan Carr on TV in front of my daughters boyfriend. I was mortified and he has never let me forget it.

I used to live in a basement flat where the bathroom window was adjacent to the steps leading down to the front door.
Anyone standing at the front door would be eye level with where the window opened.

It was around 9pm and dark outside so I decided to leave the top window open while having a bath as I wasn't expecting any one to walk down the steps.

Suddenly I heard footsteps coming down the steps so I tried to hop out of the bath and get out of the bathroom before whoever it was reached the front door and would inevitably be able to look through the open bathroom window.

Should have just stayed in the bath and hidden behind the shower curtain or something because right as I leap out of the bath I see a domino's delivery guy staring at me in shock.

Turns out my upstairs neighbour had ordered pizza and put the wrong flat number on the order.

@sergeilavrov take a bow your mum that's hilarious

OP and others well done this has been a therapeutic read

Went to take the banking from my work, parked round the side of the bank, put my money in the meter, strolled round to the front and slid in a dog poop on the pavement and went flying.

The bank is on the busiest street in the town. About 6 people rushed over to ask if I was okay but I was up and ran away so quickly they didn't get the chance.
Then had to stand for 20mins in the queue in the blank with blood running down my leg from my skint knees, and to add insult to injury, in the time I'd been inside, there had been a torrential downpour and the poop I'd slipped in had washed away...

Budget hotel in Kings Lynn on a work course-Shellfish Purification and Safety!! Room on top floor. Got to room and was dying for a wee. Sitting on toilet knickers at ankles and double decker bus pulls up outside. There's no fecking frosted glass in the window and I'm stuck there until the bus moves. I never knew lights could take so long to change 😂😂

Lauren83 you win best yet

I suffer from bouts of IBS. During a particularly difficult period, I needed to go get a hollywood wax before a holiday. I got to the final part where I needed to flip over so that the lady could do my behind. She bent over me and pulled my bum cheeks apart and I released a huge fart right into her face!

I've never been back.

Water park in Portugal. Family holiday with multiple bils. They’re stood on the side of the pool, waiting for to surface after a spectacular skim across the water. Stand up and wave - they wave back shouting Sarah your tits are out. Of course family folklore and still cringy about 30 years later.

When I was about 12, definitely in early secondary school at least, I was very skinny and had just taken a big stretch so my tights were suddenly too short. Walking to school, they had worked their way down to mid-thigh level, taking my pants with them. There was nowhere private to fix them so I decided to tough it out until I got to school.

8:55, i’m going up the school steps, hordes of people about- big gust of wind and my bare bum is exposed to the world.

Had a shower in Ibiza, walked in to bedroom starkers to get ready for going out. The room door open, three girls in the room and the cleaner by the door. I didn't go out that night...

I work as a childminder and one hot sunny day I was wearing a boob tube dress with no bra as there was support in the top; as I was passing a toddler over to its dad said toddler grabbed the top of my dress and yanked it down to my waist!
I screamed and almost died on the spot and the dad spent the next six months grinning and winking at me!

I can beat the boss walking in on you in the bathroom...

I'd called my BF, who lived at home at the time. Chatting away and I start to say something a little risque. Only to be met with silence, then "I'll just get BF". Umm, yeah, it was his father. The embarrassment when I had to fess up to BF and then the next time I was at their place (which was a regular thing).

I was walking in a crowd thinking that the man just behind me was my DH. I'd just been playing peekaboo with a little girl in front of me in her mum's arms. I said in a really enthusiastic way 'I'd love another baby' and turned to my husband. It was not my husband. He gave me a look of sheer terror.

Once after a phone conversation with my boss I said "love you, bye" then hung-up like I do when I finish a phone call with my DH.

I have also done the accidental "kind retards" at the end of an email instead of "kind regards"

I made the mistake of going into a train loo with a button obsessed toddler. Those doors open very wide and very slowly and there's very little you can do to stop them, especially when you're sitting on the toilet with your knickers round your ankles.

It wasn't an empty train.

I’m quite short! Coming out of a small shop I put my hand behind me to pull the door shut - only unbeknown to me a very tall man had come out of the door behind me and got his crotch groped😬😬 I was mortified and scuttled up the road as quickly as I could !

Went to a bank to sort smth out. I was heavily pregnant then. Floated into the lobby and got attended by a very young bank manager. Just in his early twenties probably. He was showing me how their new app works and what I should do to install it on my phone to get a better control over my funds. All serious. He was probably on probation. When all of a sudden...a big bright notification popped up on my whole screen: “CONCEPTION TIME!!!”. Bloody ovulation tracker never got updated... the boy looked mortified! This fear in his eyes! He probably saw me as a huge female mantis that had just eaten another poor fellow and was hunting again! I smiled and gave him this look: ”Run, rabbit, run!”

@NavyBerry that's so funny!! I feel that my wig episode wasn't too awful.

LinoleumBlownapart, God, a similar thing happened to me but I don't have the excuse of being there with a toddler – just didn't realise that you have to press a button to close the door and then ANOTHER BUTTON to lock it (note to Virgin fucking Trains: world's worst idea).

Was mid-piss when the train went round a bend and the door started sliding open slowly and inexorably. I was marooned on the loo seat staring in horror as an attractive young man on the flip-up seat in the corridor outside stared back at me in equal horror.

Had just got out of shower and was putting on body lotion. Heard a noise... thought it might be someone at the front door, so went out of bathroom into the landing and leaned over the bannister to see if there was anyone at the door.

Couldn't see anyone. Leaned further over... nope, no one at the front door.

Turned around to go back into the bathroom and saw the window cleaner... he'd not only seen me naked but had the delight of me bending over naked

I cringed when he came to the door for payment. Bless him he never said a word, but we both knew...

My Mum opened the front door to let the cat out as the milkman was bending down to put the milk by her door. Head height with her vagina. Never seen her move so fast in my life 😂

I went out with mates one night, and we were on the hunt for a loo. There were public toilets but they were shut, so we squatted behind a bush. Only didn't realise we were on a round a bout until we were tooted by some lovely young men 🤪

My mother owned a dancing school, so of course attendance was mandatory for me (from age 3). Older students were told not to wear underwear while performing in costume at the annual recitals -- you could wear panty hose so the crotch of your costume wouldn't get all nasty, but that was it. God forbid you had visible panty lines/bra straps. (Some girls ignored this rule, but I had no choice in the matter.) Flash forward to when I'm 16 and dancing with the oldest group, which meant doing an opening tap number with at LEAST one kickline. We're rehearsing at the theater, and I'm kicking away with the rest of the gang, and all of a sudden, from the back of the theater, I hear my mother yell, "Twuntsrule! YOUR COSTUME!" I looked down, and there were my bare (and decently sized) boobs, bouncing along with the kicks. I dropped my arms to cover myself, ran off stage, whilst the students immediately next to me were all scattered, as when one breaks the kickline, the dancers next to you all of a sudden have no one linking arms with them. It was absolutely humiliating, as the stage crew were all male, and believe you me, my aunt tied up the top of my costume for the rest of the rehearsals and shows, and I practically had to be cut out of it every time. I did make fast friends with some of the stage crew, so there's that! No future as a Radio City Rockette for me!

We were left wondering whether it was the lube, the blindfold, one of 3 vibrators or the restraints? Why did you take all that stuff to someone else's house when you'd never met them before?