This is my most embarrassing moment ever.

[Lobsterquadrille2]

Tell me you've had worse. Walking home, the spoke of a man's umbrella knocked my wig off. Right by the traffic lights. Someone wound his window down to shout "I think you've dropped something, love".

Ok it seems funny now 😀

At a fairly swanky large open plan restaurant/bar type place in London having a brunch for my best friends hen party in a private room. Said private room was separated from the main (very busy) room by a large glass wall (curtained) and a large glass door (not curtained). A few proseccos in and I got up to go through the main restaurant area to the loo. Walked towards the door and....erm...forgot it was a lane of glass, thought it was open and walked smack bang full force into it. The enormous bang caused everyone to stare. Many many people hysterically laughing at my shame 🤣 had a good old bump on my head too 🤦‍♀️

Coming home from girls holiday, was a midnight flight home. Me and another didn't feel so great early that evening at dinner but I felt perfectly fine by the time we were coming home.

Disposed of our water before we went through to immigration and was standing in the packed, extremely hot, immigration hall. Nausea came on instantly and knew I was going to vomit, run round the immigration hall in a panic to find somewhere and literally just made it to a bin. It had handle holes so literally folded myself in half of the bin so it didn't all come out the sides.
Felt rubbing on my back, and sheepishly extradited myself from the bin to find an old dear with tissues asking if I was ok. I got a round of applause by a group of young lads and a little girl with her family nearest the bin said 'mummy that lady is disgusting'. She sarcastically answered that some of us are better at holding their drink than others....except I'm late 30s and teetotal for the last 15 years.

Friends in hysterics, we were stuck in immigration for almost another hour after that, all the while it was getting hotter as the bin started to smell and I was desperate for water, except there wasn't any and no shops were open.

To make it worse, the disapproving mother and daughter were on the row in front of us and were not best pleased with my friend spent the entire 5 hour flight puking in to the sick bags and getting up as she also had diarrhoea. Longest journey home of my life

I don’t tell many people this.
I had just had DD by emergency c/s and was anaemic so had been prescribed some heavy duty iron tablets which played havoc w my bowels. One day a couple of weeks after the birth, my cousin came round to help w the baby etc and instead of subtly letting a bit of gas out the back passage I had followed through - I dashed to the loo, sorted myself out and never took another iron tablet again!!

I'm always embarassing myself.
One thing I remembered recently was breaking up with some bloke as a teen, maybe 16 or 17 years old. Was out with friends drowning my sorrows in the local. I'd deleted his number but knew it from memory anyway and started texting him. I was deleting as I went as I knew my friends would be annoyed with me for wasting time talking to him. Anyway. As I got more drunk, I forgot his number so started off talking to him and ended up texting some complete stranger and asking why he had done x to me, why he hadn't told me y, why he thought it was ok to say z to me. You get the idea. This poor person, may even have been a woman, was swearing they didn't know me and I was getting more and more irate in my drunken state that they were lying to me on top of everything else. I felt so awful when I sobered up, I had really laid into them over text

You have all so cheered me up. DD is just back from university and offered to go shopping. I asked why the generosity. She said in case this happens again.

She also said that I look beautiful minus wig 😀😀

Oh yes!
I was on a bus and my skirt had a button. I hadn't realized it broke until I went to stand to get off the bus. And of course I took one step and it fell down. I hurried and caught it before it hit my knees but I'm sure my ass was out for all behind me. Lol
The one guy says you did that on purpose. Lol Um NO i did not! The other person says we'll I didn't see anything but I don't know what you have to be embarrassed about as I left the bus. I said thank you but it is.

I'm going to make myself sound like a right weirdo but here goes.
Before work I was waiting for some clients to arrive and suddenly for no real reason at all remembered an event from my past, I used to be a professional dancer. A friend used to have a very expressive routine with lots of facial expressions. One of them included making a big 'O' type shape with the mouth and lifting the arms up. For some reason I decided to do it. I held the pose for a moment only to see the clients had turned up all looking very confused and a bit freaked out. 🙈

"Tell me you've had worse", says the OP. OK then! I've used a new account for this, because this is so bad that namechanging alone wasn't going to cut it.

Mine happened today, and I'm still mortified right now.

While on the walk home from this morning's school run, I had the most awful urge to go to the toilet out of nowhere with absolutely no chance of making it home in time. Thankfully I was just around the corner from my GP's surgery so I made a (very) quick detour and asked the receptionist if they had a loo I could use. This would have been a fairly straightforward endeavour, had she actually heard me when I tried to ask discreetly for the toilet, but she didn't, so I had to repeat myself, loud enough for people in the waiting room to hear. When she finally figured out what I wanted, she replied that the toilet was really only for patient use, so I had to explain to her that I was a patient, just one without an appointment right now, but I was having an emergency and could she please just show/tell me where the toilet was. At this point she took pity on me and pointed behind me towards the lav, which turned out to be immediately off the waiting room opposite the reception desk - clearly not ideal in terms of privacy but I dived in anyway because I was literally on the point of crapping myself by then. It was so urgent I honestly thought I'd be in and out like lightning and nobody would be any the wiser that I wasn't just having a wee, but no such luck - I've never had the runs like it, and was stuck in the toilet for a good 20 minutes and it was not pretty, and not quiet, no doubt to the delight of the 10 or so people sitting in the waiting room who could probably hear the whole thing.

As if doing the walk of shame past everyone in the waiting room having been (audibly) in the loo having the runs for 20+ minutes wasn't embarrassing enough, I didn't even make it to the front door of the building before another stomach cramp hit me and I needed to go again really urgently. So I immediately had to turn around and do another walk of shame back to the toilet and go in again, in front of the same 10 people who'd seen me come out not ten seconds before, where I spent what felt like another eternity welded to this bog that afforded absolutely no privacy whatsoever from all the people on the other side of the thin wall.

To top it off nicely, after I'd been on the toilet for about half an hour - for the second time - someone, I presume one of the receptionists, knocked on the door and said "Excuse me, you've been in there for a really long time, are you OK?" I tried just ignoring her, but she kept bloody knocking, and in the end all I could think of to say to get rid of her was "I'm really sorry... I've got the runs... I'll be out as soon as I can but it might be a while..." So the whole waiting room now knew I had the runs, as if the half an hour on the bog for the second time in rapid succession wasn't enough to clue them in in the first place.

When I finally made it off the toilet, everyone looked at me funny when I came out, and I'm not surprised because that second visit was at least 45 minutes long, probably even a bit longer if I'm honest :(

TL;DR - this morning, I was on the toilet for well over an hour, in two shifts, having the very urgent, extremely lengthy and fairly noisy runs, in front of a GP's waiting room full of people who heard the whole thing, and one of the receptionists noticed how long I'd been in there and knocked on the door half an hour into my second trip :(

Please someone tell me they've had a more mortifying morning than I did today. I'm going to have to move house so I can change surgeries, aren't I?

You know in cartoons when they show someone falling over or slipping on a banana skin etc and their arms and legs go round and round in a windmill motion before they fall? I never thought people did that in RL - turns out they do! It happened to me walking in snow/ice.

I was walking next to a main road into the city centre, 8am so rush hour traffic at a standstill. I slipped on some ice. My arms and legs were doing windmills for what felt like an eternity as I slipped forwards and backwards,but I eventually managed (no idea how) to get my footing and keep myself upright!

I was mortified but even I was laughing at the thought of how the people in their cars must have had a right good chuckle 🤣

You arent alone! Friend and I were walking and it was a very windy day, so windy it blew my friends wig off of her head. We both laughed for.an hour over it.

@SoMuchShame that is hysterical (almost worth the pain and humiliation just for the anecdote)!

Thought schools are on holidays?

@Wildorchidz Sorry. Nursery/Pre-school. Turn of phrase - I was trying to not be too identifying!

@JustDanceAddict omg 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I choked on my drink and squirted coca cola out my nose reading that! Thankfully no around to see it!

I've had many embarassing moments but one of my worst was when I was going into the underground station and it was a very sunny but breezy day so i wore a nice loose dress with leggins and to my absolute horror a masive gust of wind happened and my dress ended up round my neck! 😱😳🙈 it was a busy crowded station and everyone got a good look at my black bra (thankfully I wasn't wearing my horrible washing day one) my god even the cars were tooting but one particular group in a van shouted "nice rack" at me (lets just say I have a very impressive size cleavage) I kept trying to get my dress down but due to the wind the fucker was blowing everywhere when I finally got control I rushed into the station and got on the train and right opposite me sat one of the many people who got a good look he kept looking up and smirking at me I must've been the colour of a beetroat! The horror of it still haunts me now 🙈😳🤣🤣

My most recent embarassing moment was weds last week was locking up at work and as I bent down my trousers split right in the crotch! 😳🙈 I had to walk with my thighs pressed together I must've have looked like I shit myself it was horrifying! 🤣

I usually cycle to work but it's a 25 mile round trip and by the end of the week I'm usually knackered. I knew my route home would have a bad headwind so decided to cycle to the nearest station to work and get the train home with the bike. For context, my commute is hilly and I'm in perimenopause, so get very sweaty, and because of this I wear the whole Lycra, Rapha, full-on road cyclist fitted kit.
Put the bike in the rack and got the first free seat on a full train which was right in the middle of the carriage. Sat next to an old man who must have been 85 if he was a day, who jokingly said that putting a bike on the train was "cheating". We had a bit of banter going to and fro and I explained I did a lot of miles. Got to my stop, said goodbye to the old fella, took my bike off the rack and stood at the door waiting for it to open. At which point, the cheeky old git shouts down the carriage to me - "well, all those miles have given you beautifully firm buttocks!"
There was a delay in the doors opening, so men were standing up, turning round to get a look, grinning out the window as I go to off, and the guard gave me a long, slow wolf whistle as I walked down the platform to the exit, trying to keep what little dignity I had left.

@Notthetoothfairy I don't know about that. It was mortifying. The embarrassment of having to go back in again straight away for round 2 in front of all those people - god :( I was being very conservative with my estimates of how long I was in there too. If I'm completely honest the first time was closer to half an hour and it was much longer than 45 minutes the second time round too. I'm not surprised the receptionist was knocking on the door - I was in there for such a long time that there must have been other people who needed to use the toilet while I was in there but I was completely stuck.

I honestly don't think I can ever show my face in there again.

This was actually my dad, and years ago, but it still makes me laugh. We used to live opposite a Greek family, and every second year the man’s mum used to come for a few weeks at Christmas. My parents used to have an open house on January 2nd, starting at about 3pm, finishing whenever, and neighbours/friends would come and go. The Greek family came, but grandma clearly wasn’t very happy. She insisted she would wear her coat inside, because scotland was cold, but was almost aggressive when my dad said he would at least take her hat. It was not a hat. My poor dad was so embarrassed.

@SoMuchShame i hope you're feeling better, sounds like a really rough day.

Oh god I've loads.

I once actually slobbered in front of someone I'd just met. Classy.

Managed to end up with a poo crumb in my pants in front of new boyfriend

I wore odd shoes to work

My grandad gave me a lift into town in his ancient Polo one day, I must have been around 15. Thought I looked the biz as had a new shirt on. Noticed gdad looked a bit flustered. Whatever, who knows why. Got to the bus station or whichever hell hole I'd asked to be deposited at and opened the door as a fit lad (of course) from school happened to be walking past. Saw him gawp at me and glance surreptitiously at gdad. Looking good, managed, I thought. Then I looked down and realised that my shirt had popped undone, boobs bouncing everywhere. God knows what he thought I'd been up to with the old man aka gdad!

Sigh.

I flashed my bra at the entirety of security at Heathrow.

I couldn't fly direct, so had gone out via Amsterdam and was returning via Heathrow. Security had been completely fine at all the others, so when the alarm went off as I walked through I wasn't that bothered.

A security lady patted me down and came to the front of my bra. After a couple of washing machine near-misses, that's where I wear my pedometer. I'm so used to it I hadn't even thought to take it off for security.

I explained what it is and she said it would have to be scanned. I was wearing a polo neck tucked into jeans because it was January and freezing cold, so not the easiest for a retrieval operation! I decided to unclip it through my jumper and push it up and hook it out at the neck, but as I moved my hand towards it, she grabbed my wrist held it away from my body, beckoned somebody else and said "I need to be able to see what you're doing".

I panicked at this point (my local airport is much smaller and the security people less scary!), convinced she thought I was about to try to blow up the airport, and was so keen to prove that I wasn't I just pulled my jumper right up. In front of the bottleneck that I'd caused. I don't know whether the fact it was quite a nice bra made it better or worse!

In hindsight, I feel like she could maybe have suggested going behind a screen or something.

This just reminded me of a hair incident, It was years ago though. I was quite newly married at the time,and my husband had a job that sometimes meant that I got invited to quite posh dinner dances with his cronies, which I was then always very shy to attend. I got dressed up as much as possible,and decided to buy this fake pony tail hair piece to fix in my upswept shoulder length hair. So after the dinner, the dancing started, and myself and husband were dancers kind of, and good at rock and roll and such. so dancing crazily later, my fake ponytail hair piece came undone,and flew off onto the table where his boss and wife were sitting, drinking their wine and smoking. It was in the 1970 era, and I still remember how stupid I felt that night.

When I was about 20 I was dating a guy who lived in a standard dirty sharehouse with 4 other boys. Of course, there was no bin in the bathroom or in the house and I had my period. I decided a solution was to take my used tampons and wrap them in toilet paper and put them in a plastic bag in my handbag and I would throw them away when I left. My handbag was at the other end of the house in his bedroom and myself and all his housemates and him were sitting in the living room.
Another friend arrived with a big beautiful dog that had a sniff around the living room for a while before disappearing into the house.
A little while later the dog re-emerged with something in it's mouth, all the boys noticed and one said "what's in his mouth?" At that moment the dog spat one of my used tampons onto the floor in front of all of them and they all just looked at it in silence.
My boyfriend jumped up and grabbed it for me. I've never wanted the ground to swallow me up so much in my life.

Thanks @AlmostAJillSandwich, I'm feeling much better today, but I keep thinking about it and burning up with embarrassment so that's making me feel a bit queasy in and of itself! I don't know what it was - I had to go a few more times over the course of the day, but nowhere near as badly and thankfully in the privacy of home rather than with a waiting room full of people as an audience.

I honestly thought that "being stuck on the toilet" was a myth and a stock phrase that people used to get out of things, because up until that point I'd never had the runs like that before in my life. What do you know - it isn't. That second trip was ludicrous - 45 minutes ticked around, and then the hour, and then a bit longer actually quite a lot longer if i'm completely honest on top of that, and I honestly thought I was going to be in there all day.

I suppose my saving grace is that I was in there for so long that some of the people in the waiting room would have had their appointments and gone by the time I came out and not seen me... but the receptionists knew :(

SoMuchShame please don't worry. Don't forget the doctors is where sick people go so no one was judging you!

I was once out riding with friends and had an overwhelming need to have a wee. No problem - popped off horse, gave reins to friend and headed for a nearby bush. We were on a really REALLY quiet lane and I was well hidden from view from my friends, but quite elevated in relation to the road and I was wearing a yellow hi Viz jacket.

This tsunami of piss ensued and exactly at that moment a hybrid type car (totally silent) came up the lane. Obviously he saw the horses in the lane so stopped, literally right next to my bare arse squatted down pissing, probably about eye level to him.

I did a sort of shuffle/squat jump- still pissing- so I was further out of view, although with my hi Viz on there was no way that he didn't see me. When I got back to my horse the car was there and the man tried to APOLOGISE to me for disturbing me - like, just fuck off!!