‘Summer birthday’

[Yellowpolkadot]

I’ve probably posted about my sister in law previously, my niece is a Christmas Eve baby. It was her first birthday last year and the usual big family hoo-ha was made, lots of presents for birthday and then lost more for xmas. Happy days 😊

SIL has just announced that she will be hosting a ‘Summer birthday’ for niece. She’s planned it for the weekend after DD’s first birthday. We thought it was a bit odd but figured if that’s what you want to do, whatever, we will go along and be polite and spend some time with them. Sil has since told DH that DN would like garden toys as a gift (he had not asked what she wanted as we had no intention of buying anything as she has already had her birthday gift in December!! We just assumed they wanted a reason for a party).

AIBU to just turn up with some food and drinks for the party and ignore the gift? After all she has already had her gift for her birthday, along with SIL having a gender reveal, baby shower, and having a list for DNs christening! 🙈

I’d definitely be deliberately naive about the whole thing - “oh how nice, so we’ll do presents in the summer now not on her actual birthday?”

Dd had a friend who had her birthday party in June each year as her birthday was Christmas Day, but this was for school friends, no idea what family did

I think the problem is a lot of kids with Christmas birthdays just seem to get Christmas tat with Christmas wrapping paper as birthday presents.

We don't have that problem (luckily had no 'joint presents', thank God) - it's more that it's much harder for the birthday child to feel their birthday is in any way special (must be damn near impossible if it's Christmas Day), and also can be hard for parties as people are often away. DD's best friend has rarely made her birthday party as her family are always doing their 'other Christmas' the weekend of DD's birthday.

We had a half birthday party for my niece so we could have an outdoor party. It was just an excuse to round up family and friends to meet up. There was no expectation of presents. I find that so awkward/embarrassing, i'd completely ignore her request!

Is your niece the queen? nah, my niece has her birthday within a few days of Christmas day, and while I'm always very careful to distinguish between the 2, as I would if she'd been born at any other time, I wouldn't be entertaining this nonsense!
Nice social gathering, bring a bottle, but no, no presents!

@bridgetreilly I think it’s more of a case that he realises how much it is putting some members of the family out travelling for 2 weekends in a row 🤷🏻‍♀️ Their DB lives in Glasgow whilst we all live in the midlands, it’s a long way for him to come!

Threads like this is why I love MN. There really are some CFs out there of course yanbu. It would have made more sense in winter to say we’ll have a party to celebrate in summer, and if she wanted be specific re gifts then!

Depends what form the celebration takes. If it’s framed as another birthday party that’s odd because the day of your birth can only be one day. If it’s just an excuse for a family get-together, why not?

Our reasons and expectations are irrelevant. It’s something we chose to do for our child. Family can be involved or not, can think it’s reasonable or not. We choose to do it because it’s something we want to do for her. Nobody has ever been shitty about it or suggested she should have a second celebration. Thankfully, my family and friends are less judgemental.

but DH is keen not to go as he feels holding it the week after DDs birthday is trying to take the shine away from her

You DH and SIL are both as bad as each other.

* Their DB lives in Glasgow whilst we all live in the midlands, it’s a long way for him to come*

Presumably this DB is a grown-assed man that can articulate to his sister that travelling such a long distance two weekends in a row is not something he’s prepared to do?

Although he’s related to your DH to SIL, isn’t he? So I’m guessing this might not be possible for him