...to wonder why people are so rude about vegans?

[CheekyWombat101]

Obviously not everyone, but in general, I can’t go a single day without hearing a comment or spotting an eye roll if the word ‘vegan’ is spoken out loud. It’s like a dirty word. Ironically a word usually brought up by someone who isn’t vegan, but starts the conversation and then takes offence at it. It’s really bizarre.

Over and over again you hear associated words like... fad, militant, extreme, unhealthy...

Why? Why do some non-vegans take such an interest, and such an offence to it all?

Non-vegans who don’t care or are supportive - you are awesome! Please keep doing what you’re doing, it’s really refreshing.

I think there are quite a few people about who are arseholes. Some of them are also vegan. I think most vegans are just getting on with their lives, the same as most other people. Most of the vegans I know, I had no idea were vegan until we went for dinner.

I think debate is very helpful. For most of my life, I haven't really given much thought to buying food, in terms of the environmental impact. Now I can make more informed choices. We are omnivores in this house. But we have more vegetarian meals now, (some might even be vegan!). I haven't told DH. He hasn't noticed a difference.

I don't think 'labels' help though. That's when it becomes a fad. My SIL likes to call herself a vegan. She isn't. She eats eggs, sometimes cheese (and occasionally chicken!). But she likes the kudos of the label, in the same way as her Jimmy Choos. I find the hypocrisy a bit irritating, but I say nothing.

I think a lot of it is to do with the fussiness of it. My DH has food issues related to stuff that went on in his childhood so people are always going on at him about it. It's the same with vegans - I confess I get annoyed with it if I have people round for dinner who have various food intolerances/diets etc. I remember once having a vegan, a veggie and a gluten intolerant person for dinner and it was a pain in the arse so I probably bitched to DH about it.

I respect vegans. I don't try to change their minds, they are free to eat whatever they want. But our vegan friend couple, keep trying to put us off meat and dairy (unsuccessfully). There's not a single day that they don't mention veganism in conversation when we see them. That's my only experience with vegans.

“My SIL likes to call herself a vegan. She isn't. She eats eggs, sometimes cheese (and occasionally chicken!). But she likes the kudos of the label, in the same way as her Jimmy Choos. I find the hypocrisy a bit irritating, but I say nothing.”

See- this what I find baffling. Here is someone who isn’t a vegan and is, by any definition, a pain in the neck- and is somehow giving actual vegans a bad name!

We have a vegan, a veggie and gluten intolerant on a regular basis. They don’t like mushrooms either. We just deal with it. The vegan and veggie both get the same, we bake gluten free bread and cakes. Oh and the gluten intolerant is also lactose intolerant.

That's my only experience with vegans

The thing is it's probably not. You've probably met loads but they just haven't mentioned it.

(The couple in question do sound like a PITA though.)

It can be very intimidating, and quite stressful to cater for vegan, vegetarian or gluten intolerant if you're not used to considering the various requirements - and God help you if you get it wrong! Let alone whacking lactose intolerant into the mix.

Kudos to you Alsohuman - we do it too, but yeah, we do find it stressful. And a bit disappointing when some people are somewhat ho-hum about the effort, let alone the food. . .which was actually pretty good!

If I have multiple food requirements, I just cook for them all in one dish, if you see what I mean. Everyone eats the same. So in alsohuman’s situation it would be gluten free vegan- even though I love to bake and I only have a couple of gluten free vegan cakes. Lots of one or the other- but both is a bit of a struggle!

Because vegetarians have been around for a while, eating whatever they chose to without making a fuss, and then people started becoming vegans and everybody had to be informed of why they are doing it and how and why it is a superior choice 🙄

For the people who find it stressful to cater for vegans, do you talk to them about it? I am an adult and I see it as my responsibility to make sure I am fed. If I am invited to someone's house for food I offer to bring something and never complain of I am served something like bread and salad.

I am aware that I may be complicating my host's life so am always happy to help.

Today I went out for breakfast with some friends for a birthday (not mine) one friend made cake which wasn't vegan so I didn't eat it. It was no problem. There was no pressure on me to eat it and no pressure on her to make it vegan.

It’s getting easier. You wouldn’t believe how many Christmas pudding labels I read six months ago - why would they put cream in them? Why?

I suspect it's because a lot of vegans are not true animal lovers or environmentalists and this time next year will have jumped on another 'bandwagon'. I think it's seem by many to go along with young men in flat caps who order 'flat white soya frappuchinos'.

I have utmost respect for anybody who is vegan because of true beliefs but I suspect everybody isn't. Although of course the earth benefits whatever your reasons.

Because they’re a pain in the arse. They aren’t able to be part of mainstream society really

Of course they are. Ridiculous thing to say.

I always find people get aggressive when they feel guilty. People know eating so much meat/fish/dairy is bad for the environment but don’t do anything about it themselves so put down people who do.

I’m trying to get there myself and have nothing but respect for people who are vegan

I mainly feel pity. Imagine life without good cheese.

I always find people get aggressive when they feel guilty. People know eating so much meat/fish/dairy is bad for the environment but don’t do anything about it themselves so put down people who do

Having just one child is 75x worse for the environment than eating meat, and I have no kids so no I don’t feel the slightest bit guilty, my carbon footprint is WAY lower than a vegan parents.

“They aren’t able to be part of mainstream society really”

People do talk such bollocks, don’t they?

What I find fascinating is that people are so incredibly rude as they tell everyone how rude they think vegans are! And how persistent the lazy tropes about vegans are. It’s like the abuse feminists get- people still use the dungareed, DocMartened Milly Tant from Viz as a stick to beat us with even though she hasn’t been seen in print for years!

I have utmost respect for anybody who is vegan because of true beliefs but I suspect everybody isn't. Although of course the earth benefits whatever your reasons.

I don't understand why someone would need to have "true beliefs" in order to be a vegan. Being a vegan is based on your actions not your beliefs.

I am teetotal but not for ethical or ideological reasons. Muslims are teetotal for religious reasons.

We are both teetotal.

It is the exclusionary attitude that in order to be vegan you have to buy into a certain ideology which puts people off and is actually something I have only really heard from non-vegans

Veganism is a lifestyle choice not a religion. I have several vegan friends and I don't think I have ever asked any of them why they are vegan. It is nobody's business but your own. Outside of these discussions, I only mention if I am vegan when someone is cooking for me or if we are going to a restaurant and I need to check if I can eat there. Most of my acquaintances probably don't know

If however someone is a dick about being a vegan and constantly lectures you, your issue is that you are friends with a dick, not that you are friends with a vegan.

I'm not rude to vegans to their face. I do, however, heavily judge them for an unnatural and unscientific way of consuming food and other goods and doing more damage in the process, while at the same time convincing themselves that they are doing themselves or nature a favour. Newsflash, you aren't. I just roll my eyes internally and go online to let steam off instead

They aren’t able to be part of mainstream society really

I don't know how much more mainstream you can get than Greggs or Frankie and Bennys*

*was in one of these recently for my sins and was amazed at the range of vegan options.

Every single vegan I know pushes it on people... I just ignore as I don’t really care what anyone does as long as they’re not harming anyone but I can see why it gets people’s backs up.

I was veggie for a long time til I got ill and no one cared... as soon as I said ‘I don’t drink milk’ (I don’t like it) they’d be all oooooh here we go, vegan. Even going as far as in a restaurant speaking for me and saying ‘she’s a vegan’ where I have to say I’m not I just like black coffee and black tea ffs.

I have coeliacs though and it does irk me a little when someone says ‘you’re like a vegan or something’ well no not really I don’t have a choice unless I want stomach pains for days and the shits and of course stomach cancer and arthritis and the rest....

@Tessalectus, what “damage” are they doing? My vegan son doesn’t drive, won’t fly, has no children, probably has the smallest carbon footprint possible. What damage is he doing? And to whom or what?

@shineynewapple

Is it necessary for a vegan to be an animal lover? I don't think it is.

And who gets to decide what the baseline is for being a 'true' animal lover?

I don't suppose op wants an answer, but is posting for awareness. But here goes.

I'm not rude to people's faces, but think they are a pain to cater for.

What I resent is that you are expected to cater for their special needs (and it is not easy, when you are not used to cooking vegan), but they don't cater for you, that is they still serve vegan for all their guests.

I know, I will be told off for this, and when having a conviction you just don't do meat for others. But can't meat eaters feel strongly for their way of doing things, too?