To be unable to think of any job DS could do

[alexx321]

He has autism and his timekeeping is nonexistent, he is unintentionally rude to people, he can’t work technology.

Is there anything out there for him?

Just to add that we had a lot of the same issues with trying to get him to engage and act appropriately but with time it did improve. I don’t know how old your DS is but with DB maturity helped hugely and started to see an improvement about 25+.

What I mean is a warehouse role to start off with to build up confidence, get used to technology etc as and then think about future relevant roles.

Working in a kitchen is also a great idea.

The ones with the question marks at the end of the sentence are questions.

You've been asked his strengths, what he enjoys, what his current course is and why he won't finish it. To state a few.

Does he want to work?

I'm not taking it personally I'm asking you if you have discounted every single one of the suggestions made here, or found any of the advice people have given useful at all?

Certainly you're not responding to any questions about what skills or positives your DS has so people could advise better if none of the already made numerous suggestions are useful. Your responses have pretty negative despite the time people have taken to try and help.

Sounds like OP is pretty down about the situation and that's why she's not responding well to all the helpful suggestions. I don't think she's being intentionally rude.

As for the son - sounds like it's lack of motivation that's the problem rather than the difficulties he has per se although of course they are linked. I wonder what could be done to help with this? Is it caused by low self esteem or because he doesn't see the need as he's happy to carry on being looked after by mum?

It's hard enough for the parent of an NT 20 year old with nothing but GCSEs who doesn't know what they want to do. The motivation really does have to come first, and then they can make it happen. Without motivation, even the cleverest most able person is never going to get a good job.

The problem is that people keep asking the same questions and I have answered. I have said that he was good at most things in a limited way but as to whether these would translate to a job I don’t know.

Warehouse work is out of the question and so it working in a kitchen. Too fast, too bright, too noisy.

He can’t use sat nav so driving isn’t an option. He doesn’t have the people skills for anything involving well, people.

I’ll leave it there, it’s really not helpful to end up being put on trial by MN for not answering correctly I am just desperately desperately worried.

If he's not able to work, have you looked at putting a special needs trust in place for him? I don't know if that's something you can do there, but you can here. It would give him income once you pass on, so he isn't left destitute.

Could he work with animals? At a dog groomer, maybe, shampooing the dogs or clipping nails?

I don't think you have answered though?

Saying he's good at most things in a limited way yet saying none of the suggestions are appropriate means something is off.

Does he like being up and about on his feet or sitting down? Being with other people or on his own? Maths or not? Facts?

I know two people with autism who work, one in an art gallery as he loves art and taking to people, and another who works for an investment bank in cyber security as she hates interacting with others but loves patterns and roles and finding inconsistencies (as another poster said similar). So if you could be more specific it would greatly help, I am also bookmarking for a friend's DS as there are many fab suggestions on this thread

What does he like to do for fun? Even though it might seem hopeless there will be some options. I have a friend with ASD who basically ran a blog about her hobby and managed to get a job off the back of that.
Could he change college courses to a basic computer skills one, just basic Internet use and word, that would open up a lot more options that he could do at home, with freelance sites it takes the pressure off as its not an 9-5, I did basic data entry on sites like that for years to begin with to get into thr work flow of a job, but at home and at my pace, so took the pressure off and made it very manageable, I still had days where I got overwhelmed and it felt completely hopeless but as I could take the next day off and not pick up anything it was a good way of getting balancing the autistic and job balance thing.

Oh Op I hear you and you have an older version of my extremely demand avoidant, unable to cope with ordinary life son. He can't get himself up in the morning, has no idea about timekeeping, money or most things taken for granted by parents of nt kids.

Did he have an EHCP or still have One ?

I think the one poster that said, start with whatever he's passionate about and go from there. That's what we're going to do, although I sometimes feel it's doomed to fail before it's even started. I'm now wondering if he'll ever leave home.

And I can't believe that someone had the audacity to post an Autism Speaks link on this thread. A vile, vile charity/company that wants to force ASD people to become nt people and that just damages them.

Contact some of the charities/organisations recommended here. Describe him. See what they suggest.

Hi OP, my ASD DS, who is early 20s, is bright but not a people person and quite distractible. He is easily made stressed and anxious.He would stay alone in his room 24 hours a day if he could.

He did a higher level diploma in computing at college which he scraped through with a lot of teacher support then said he did not want to have anything to do with that subject again.

We were referred to Mencap by our local authority (after I had stomped my feet a bit) and they have been fab. He has had a couple of unpaid job placements with very good support from Mencap at all times and has just been offered a paid job by one of those placements.

The job is kitchen porter in a large commercial kitchen. Not one I would ever have chosen for him or thought he would go for, but he loves it. The employer has a good team with strong working structures and they have a lot of fun working and they feed him, which he thinks is great. He works very part time but they have said if he wants more days at any point he can have them.

Yes he has the brains to do more, but he enjoys it, likes the fact he does not feel stressed doing it and is very proud he is earning money. That's good enough for me for now. Maybe he'll want to move on at some point, maybe he won't. I don't care, I'm just happy to see him happy.

The point of this rather rambling post is that sometimes, we think we know what will work, only to find that actually we don't.

Based on my experience I'd say start with your local council employment service for young people and push for a referral to someone like Mencap. The actual council service were useless so do push them.

OP, it sounds to me like you're having a SN-parental burnout day so I'm going to suggest taking a deep breath and leaving the thread for a day or two. You sound desperately worried and are focussing on the things your DS cannot do (which of course, it the default when all you ever hear from the educational world is what your DC can't do in order to get them extra support).

But the advantage of leaving school (I hope) is that you can play to their strengths rather than having to focus on weaknesses.

What motivation can you try to encourage him to find a job. What do you provide that you could maybe start to limit? I presume is he is anti tech then WiFi or phone won't be an option. Hobbies?
Does he do a sport?

Is the time keeping worry just about him getting to work? Have you tried using a decice like the echo - we set timers so it announces its time to get up, time to brush teeth etc. (My child is much younger)
In terms of jobs is he a visual thinker? Something like scaffolding might be ok for that.

B&Q have always been very inclusive employers

This is a very interesting thread. Am also place marking with regard to my 15 year old daughter who has OCD and I suspect (as do a teacher and a counsellor she has had contact with) ASD, though she is not diagnosed.

Could he work night shifts in a supermarket or something? I’m more thinking that if he’s still living at home then you can ensure he’s up and out, and then it’s repetitive tasks that are fairly straightforward? Probably a mostly male environment too (I’m assuming the skirt / nice legs type comment was to a woman here!) so possibly would take the possibility of those comments out or the equation.

I hope you find something! I imagine you’ve tried everything to solve the timekeeping, that must be a real barrier.

You still haven't said what he actually enjoys doing? Hobbies can lead to jobs. He must be doing something with his time.

Thank you for some kinder posts.

He likes martial arts, exercise (swimming) the rest of the time he reads or watches Netflix/YouTube.

a few of the autism courses i've been sent on seem to say the brain is still developing until 25 and talk about autism being a delay. perhaps he is still just a bit young for work. It must be very tough for you.

Does he go to a martial arts class? If so would the teacher be open to giving him a couple of weeks volunteering, helping at the class, tidying away equipment To gain confidence and see if that is something he would like to pursue.
Or if he enjoys being active, some kind of outdoor work? I work on a farm and it's incredibly active work, but also nice as I've got my jobs I need to do and I crack on, don't have to deal with office talk etc, dog walker also another one? Although know that might not work due to sensory issues.
If he's into reading, would something in a library or bookshop appeal? Libraries tend to be quite good at being inclusive employers

Manclife1 when you've met one person with autism you've met one person they are all individuals with different individual needs!
But I would be willing for you to come and work with my son anytime and teach him timekeeping!!!
Bring some glue though as I'm sure your miracle watch with end up in a billion bits within 4 minutes !!!!!!
You might even get lucky and be able to tempt him out of the house with doughnuts 🤣

when you've met one person with autism you've met one person they are all individuals with different individual needs!

This ^. I read a pizza anaology recently I enjoyed! Yes its all called pizza, but you have gluten free, vegetarian, cauliflower base, stuffed crust, dairy free, they all require different ingredients, cooking times, methods, despite all being pizza! Just like it's all called autism but the individual needs etc will vary completely from person to person.

You said he's above average intelligence and likes/good at history and science....how's his attention to detail?

Archivist
Statistician
Accountant
Book keeper
Proof reader
Transcriber
Museum exhibit designer/assistant
Data entry assistant/clerk
Delivery driver
Editorial assistant
Library assistant
Lab assistant

Some of those would require more studies. Some would probably need him to get some reminder alarm systems to help with time keeping. But they are all ideas that could be possible, maybe?

I have a cousin with asperger's, he worked in a factory for a little while and they was really patient with him and helped him along the way.

It will be trial and error. But he will find something he enjoys, and if he enjoys it he will self teach how to manage as efficiently as he can. Dont worry OP x