to ask whether you were pretty when you were younger?

[Totur]

I look at photos of me and I was so pretty when young but I had zero confidence.
I'm stuck now being old and miserable. I wish I had enjoyed or known that I was actually quite pretty.

Even now, my confidence in dealing with people is tied up with how I think I look in the mirror.
I think I was actually pretty but wasted all my youth thinking I was Ozzy Osbourne in the female form!

Seem to be going against the grain here, but I have definitely blossomed with age from the porky, specky ginger girls with a bad fringe and smashed front teeth to a slightly less awful version of that now, thankfully 😂

A lot of people blossom as they get older. Presumably confidence has a lot to do with it.

I'm in my 40s and I see women who went to school with me who look absolutely stunning now. And l look so old and haggard

I very much had the "look" for the era. I worked as a model part time while at university.

I look at photos of me then and cannot see the woman I see in the mirror. It makes me very sad.

I'd say I've always been a bit below average. Really nice hourglass figure though, and long bright ginger hair, so there were always some who found me beautiful despite my thick glasses and mannish and awkward features. I dated some very hot people (two of my exes were professional models) and there were always folks who wondered how.

Your OP makes me sad, cause I feel you are still letting your perception of your own looks restrict you. Try to focus less on how you look to the world, and focus instead on how the world looks to you.

I would say I was quite pretty and slim when very young ,however never felt it as quite shy .Had to laugh recently went to get a new passport,and they were looking to see if I looked like my previous photo.She said "I can see its you,but you look better now actually!"Im in my fifties BTW!

I didn't feel attractive growing up. I get plenty of compliments now, but because of chronic illness I just feel like shit all the time. It takes me ages to do my make up and get ready.

Didnt realise at the time, i thought i was plain but i look at my GD and she is gorgeous. She is nearly 12 has the most perfect skin and colouring, great curls, beautiful eyes and a wonderful smile and its not just me that thinks so, her Mum (who is gorgeous too)has been approached by modelling agencies to see if GD would like to model but GD didnt want too. Strangely we all are identical at the same ages

What exactly do you think you'd have done differently in life OP if you'd "realised" at the time?

I looked at some photos of me when I was 20 and I was so fresh faced and slim! I was convinced I was fat at that age and had no confidence. I am now nearly 40 and definitely fat and wish I could see then what I see now. Youth is definitely wasted on the young!

I was the opposite. Way too much confidence for someone actually quite ugly!

I felt hideous and my dad was really unkind about my looks particularly when I was an awkward teen. I had no idea about style, make up or hair and was skinny and greasy. Teenage girls now look a lot more “together”.
I seemed to grow into my face mid-20s and when I look at photos I think I look reasonable and I attracted blokes
Now in my 40s I scrub up ok, look younger than I am and am slim. I’m happy being average and I can transform myself with a bit of make up and nice outfit which is fun. I actually don’t care any more altho I do care about being slim so I make sure I am.
My personality is alright and I’m more bothered about that.
Almost all the girls I thought were drop dead at primary and secondary peaked too early and look just normal now.

No, never been pretty.

When I was young my sister used to call me ugly all the time therefore as a teen and young adult I never felt great about myself but looking back I didn't look that bad although there aren't many photos of me as I always avoided them! I am 35 now and think I'm actually doing quite well compared to some people my own age - I'm pretty much the same slim size 8 I was when I was younger and I have quite good skin, I feel more confident in myself and comfortable in my own skin. I'll never be an oil painting, I have slightly wonky teeth and a crap chin and big ears, but I don't care that much any more! DH loves me as I am which is all that matters really.

I don't know how to reply without sounding conceited, but as I am old now and my looks are dwindling, I can say matter-of-factly that people used to turn round and look at me in the street, that people used to stare at me, and so on. I was constantly told I was beautiful. I didn't believe it. I now see the proof in old photos. Oh well, I am now embracing the Third Age and trying to keep as chic and polished as possible. It's all I can do now. Young women - enjoy and value your youth.

Yes, after Iost my puppy fat at 12 I did an ugly-duckling transformation. I was very angry, very unhappy teenager and my good looks brought me very little pleasure, except a sort of grim satisfaction that society (and adults) were as shallow as I'd suspected. Loads and loads of unwanted older male attention, which continues to this day. I can remember feeling disdainful at how easily I could manipulate men. I'm not that angry now, but it still strikes me as very odd that we actively praise people for being 'beautiful', as though it were something earned or meritorious.

I'm blessed with the opposite, but PCOS and increasing confidence may have something to do with it.

Ok, I'm peppered with silver hair at 33, but I'm finally getting on top of my weight, FINALLY losing the acne, got rid of makeup and used a stylist to update my wardrobe. Feeling pretty swanky atm, if I am tooting my own horn.

I looked good as a young girl then teenager and adult. I looked good in my 20-30s. I didn't look great between 33-40 as had a baby and put on couple stone and look washed out and overweight in all photos.
When I turned 40 I lost 3 stone and looked amazing for about 5 years, unfortunately the weight is creeping back on and I now have quite a few lines on my face so I won't ever really be attractive now I don't think.

I was very pretty, blonde, green eyes, nice boobs. I am also physically disabled. It seems these conditions are contradictory in society.

I got many “compliments” like “ You are gorgeous, shame about the leg”

I have been married twice. Overheard an acquaintance say “ I can’t understand how Secret got two men to marry her when I haven’t even been asked once.”

Well I was told in my 20s that I was stunning a few times. But I wasn't popular and found it hard to get dates. I think this was mainly because I am very tall ( which is a bit intimating) and didn't dress particularly appealing to men. I sort of had a retro style thing going on.

I look back at photo and just think how fresh my face was and whilst I'm not big now, I had a great figure. Again like lots of you I was so self conscious about wearing anything revealing like a bikini.

I definitely think confidence shines through.

Name changed for this.

I was beautiful. But it caused a lot of jealousy and bullying as a teenager, and little things were picked up on. I was bullied because of spots, was called lanky because of my height.

I am also autistic so I didn't/don't have the 'aura' of other beautiful people I see. Somebody once told me I got 'less pretty' the more they got to know me.

I was aware I wasn't ugly but I didn't realise how beautiful I was at the time.

Yup apparently I was. I hated the attention though and wanted to be invisible.

I've gone from Liz Hurley to Mrs Trunchpole!!

Everyone does that. Remember ‘Sunscreen’ by Baz Luhrmann?

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth
oh nevermind;
you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded
But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself
and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked.

I would say that I’m as attractive now, at almost 40 as I was at 20! My ex-DH who is lovely says that I’ve hardly changed! I think as you age, as long as you maintain your weight, health (as much as possible) and make an effort with clothes, hair etc, looks definitely do not have to fade! I’m not ashamed to say that I like the way I look!

I was. I was a size 6 with quite big boobs (not massive for my frame but big), my eldest sister was a hairdresser so I always had well cut hair that was shiny and dead straight so no damage except my highlights and later full head blonde that was obviously professionally done. I had such good skin and although not perfectly straight, very white teeth. I knew none of it, I've worn a skirt about 5 times in my life because my thighs were fat/ I was hairy (wasn't!)/ my arms were flabby/ my face was fat/ I was ugly. I had friends who were gorgeous and I thought I was in their shadow but when I see photos of us together now I wasn't, I was pretty too and not some monster compared to them. It has massive downsides though, being accosted when alone in the street, being hollered at by groups of MEN- grown men when I was a CHILD. 12-15 my mum said she was always annoyed when she was out with me (as with my 2 sisters previously but they're 10+ years older) because she could constantly see and noticed men leering, making comments, slowing down in cars etc. None of us noticed it when we were with her or at all really when we were younger because as a younger woman I think you don't really notice whistles or car beeps or men leering at you. I realised it when I was 25 or so and was with my very beautiful nieces and saw that those things did happen but they also didn't really notice at a young age. It makes me feel sick for my own daughter.

I was quite pretty.

I was also slim but always felt fat. Now I'm actually fat I wish I'd worn more adventurous clothes when I had the chance.