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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask whether you were pretty when you were younger?

161 replies

Totur · 16/06/2019 04:29

I look at photos of me and I was so pretty when young but I had zero confidence.
I'm stuck now being old and miserable. I wish I had enjoyed or known that I was actually quite pretty.

Even now, my confidence in dealing with people is tied up with how I think I look in the mirror.
I think I was actually pretty but wasted all my youth thinking I was Ozzy Osbourne in the female form!

OP posts:
AliasGrape · 16/06/2019 22:34

Yeah, I had a good few years looking back, never believed it at the time of course. I found a picture a few years back of me on my A-Level trip to Paris. I remember being in bits before that trip pleading with my mum not to make me go because I was so fat and ugly and all the other girls were so much better than me and I couldn’t stand it and wanted to just stay home. I look like a bloody model in this picture but I just couldn’t see it at the time.

These days I am actually fat but I try to be kinder to myself now after finding that picture and remembering how hateful I was about myself back then. I have nice high cheekbones and good boobs so I’ve still got something to work with, despite the dark circles, size 18 jeans and preference for pyjamas over other clothing!

Echobelly · 16/06/2019 22:35

Never 'pretty' but I know some guys found me very attractive for some reason, and was always fine with my looks. I never attracted male attention from the average guy on the street, I think as I wore my hair cropped very short in my teens and 20s and wore weird indie kid clothes, so most guys just didn't clock me (and I was quite happy with that situation). I'm 41 now and I think I'm still looking OK.

My mum looks back at photos from when she was a teenager and says 'Look how pretty I was, and I thought I was such a dog!'

ACPC · 16/06/2019 22:35

Yes I was pretty in my younger years. I look a bit like an angry potatoe now. Blush

ScreamingValenta · 16/06/2019 22:36

No. I looked fresher and healthier but I have never been pretty.

ACPC · 16/06/2019 22:37

Potato. Ffs

CherryPavlova · 16/06/2019 22:38

Beauty is wasted on the young.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 16/06/2019 22:40

I look back and think I could have been a pretty teenager but made (typical) terrible choices with hair/clothes/makeup and was socially v underconfident so frankly, wasn't pretty.
I think I peaked in my twenties, not stunning but slim, clear skin, much better hair and flattering clothes choices and looked pretty good.

Now (early thirties) I'm post baby and a bit erm, founder, not at all well groomed but much happier and more confident, and I think that shows and makes me look better if not "pretty".

Rach182 · 16/06/2019 22:41

Yes and I knew it and had all the joyful and laidback ease that youth and no responsibilities gives you, so always got lots of attention in my late teens to mid 20s.

I still think I'm pretty but I'm no way near as laid back or bubbly so don't get loads of attention anymore. Not that I care. Personality is more important and I'm more upset about how much life has changed what used to be an amazing, attractive personality than my slowly declining looks :(

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 16/06/2019 22:42

Never pretty, but I have always been described as “striking”, and “attractive”. As a child I was really distraught at this, but at 46 I still get told the same.

namynom · 16/06/2019 22:42

Yes but like a lot of PPs very insecure! I saw a video of myself yesterday, beautiful and skinny but I just remember how lonely I was and my self-esteem crushed into the floor by an abusive boyfriend.

I’m so much happier and more confident now as a chubby person Grin

GimmeBread · 16/06/2019 22:43

Pretty blond and slim - how I wish I'd appreciated it back then. I'm now the middle aged woman that I am and i hate it. I hate seeing myself in the mirror. I'm not bad looking for my age but I could be better. If I stepped away from the fucking cheese 🤨

puppymouse · 16/06/2019 22:46

Nope. Looked like a combination of Sonia from Eastenders and Shrek. The older I get the more I've grown into my looks and gained confidence which seems to draw some of the attention I craved years ago.

Hadjab · 16/06/2019 22:49

I was sort of pretty I guess, but now I’m 48, I love myself, I’m happy with myself, and I think it shows.

Ronnie27 · 16/06/2019 22:50

I was rather an ugly child bless me, unattractively pale with bad hair and teeth, had an awkward early teenage phase but then blossomed at about 15 and remember finding all the sudden male attention completely alien and discombobulating. I’m now really going to struggle with becoming invisible again as I age.Grin

justilou1 · 16/06/2019 22:51

I was very petite and have always been blonde, but with very strong features, so have never been pretty. Then I packed on heaps of weight in my 30’s and it took ages to get it off. I am now 47 and very slim again. I am lucky to have very good skin for my age. I look considerably younger than I am. My stomach and arms will never go on show, but I think now that I have a “style” that works for me - I’m a student (again) and a Mum, so it’s pretty casual, I don’t have to be corporate, so people think I am younger. I know what works for me as far as makeup goes as well, (very, very little!) and that brings with it an air of confidence, I guess.... perhaps I FEEL more attractive now, although I am probably not.

Fibbke · 16/06/2019 22:53

I wasn't super pretty but had stylish, interesting looks. I was very attractive and always had boyfriends. I'm not so much now! Overweight and a bit mumsy but hrt is starting to give me back my vivaciousness!

Ghanagirl · 16/06/2019 22:55

@PregnantOnPurpose
There’s no way your looks are fading at 23!
Maybe your confidence is though...

wineandroses1 · 16/06/2019 22:55

I was pretty, though spent far too much time thinking I was too fat (I really wasn’t but I did have big boobs and that meant not all clothes suited - I really wanted to wear the clothes that skinny girls wore). As I got older (30ish) I became more confident and comfortable in my looks. Today (in my 50s), I am far too overweight (which makes me pretty much invisible to men - thankfully! But DH loves me as I am). I lost weight a couple of years ago and was really surprised at how much attention I got. My face isn’t too different as I don’t have many lines, but I really don’t worry about my looks too much these days; just want to lose weight again to be more healthy.

SerenDippitty · 16/06/2019 22:56

Yes I suppose so - blue eyed brunette very slim. But had little confidence or self esteem. I feel more attractive now in my late 50s because I’m more confident.

PinkGlitter123 · 16/06/2019 22:57

No. Always been a munter 😐

small2018 · 16/06/2019 22:58

No. I had a perm and a moustache!
I look much better now!

Dowser · 16/06/2019 22:58

Yes....and I’m still not too bad now at 67 ...on a good day.
I’ve aged well

On a bad day...hmmmmm
I have gut issues.and lack of sleep can make me look rough

FriendlyRock · 16/06/2019 22:58

No.

I had jet black lanky hair, dirty dishwater colour eyes, tall as a man, freckles, goofy, one skewiff eye, huge wonky nose, dangerously skinny, flatchested, highly anxious and critically shy.

Convinced I’m ugly my entire life.

Yet I’ve always had very good looking boyfriends Confused. The sort who turn heads when they lollop into a room or down the street.

The pretty women from school days are still pretty in their Facebook photos, but the light and sparkle is lost from their eyes as we enter our Fifties this year, and every single of us (bar the very rare few without children), are all overweight.

If only I had realised my figure was actually lovely, looking back.
I was with an abusive boyfriend for several years, and his common retort was, ‘it’s lucky you have a good figure because you’re not generally considered attractive’.

After our first baby, it was straight into, ‘here comes Jabba the Hutt’.
I was a only size 10/12 after my first baby....

billy1966 · 16/06/2019 22:58

I had a good figure and was very average looking. However, I really made the most of myself. Nice haircut, well cut clothes, light flattering make up.

I think 30 years ago a lot of girls often didn't know what suited them and what worked for them.

Getting older can be hard. I've tried to maintain a figure-ish. I try to focus on being very grateful bthat I am relatively healthy and lead an active life, enjoying a sport.

As you get older if you don't have it on your bum, you won't have it on your face. Being skinny does not work in your 50's.

Minding your skin and hair with a good supplement, good moisturiser, sun blocker etc., Is money well spent.

joystir59 · 16/06/2019 22:58

Very Pretty but low self esteem