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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask whether you were pretty when you were younger?

161 replies

Totur · 16/06/2019 04:29

I look at photos of me and I was so pretty when young but I had zero confidence.
I'm stuck now being old and miserable. I wish I had enjoyed or known that I was actually quite pretty.

Even now, my confidence in dealing with people is tied up with how I think I look in the mirror.
I think I was actually pretty but wasted all my youth thinking I was Ozzy Osbourne in the female form!

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 16/06/2019 21:38

No not at all. I've gone better with age so I'm told. All my "fit mates" have lost their looks now, though and look haggard, so. Its swings and round abouts, I suppose.
I remember seeing someone from school letting on and she looked at me like I had 1000 heads, and said.
Sorry I don't know you.
I said, You do. Its Spider from school
She said. I wouldn't have known you. In million years. I wouldnt go as far as to say you were ugly in school, but Let's just say you've matured very well. .

DramaAlpaca · 16/06/2019 21:38

No. But I have a confidence in myself that has never depended on my looks, thankfully. I'm very comfortable in my own skin.

EmeraldShamrock · 16/06/2019 21:38

Not as a child, I always looked messy.
As a teenager years, 20's yes.
I am 38 now, I still have a good figure but only an okay face. Wink

Haisuli · 16/06/2019 21:38

I was a natural beauty. I had a lot of admirers. I always loved clothes but never bothered about hair or make up. Now I'm in my 40s and seem to be invisible to men. I'm not bothered as I'm happily married but I wish Id learnt how to do make up.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 16/06/2019 21:39

Yes, and had quite a good figure. I thought I was ugly and fat, and was bullied. Looking back at old photos of me now I don't recognise myself. I wish I had appreciated my looks before I lost them.

RandallandHopkirkReborn · 16/06/2019 21:39

Nope. Always been utterly plain. I’m really overweight now and realise that I wasn’t overweight (when I thought I was). Thing is now, I care less about it all.

AwdBovril · 16/06/2019 21:42

Looking at photos of me in my teens & 20s, I was really pretty & had a lovely figure & fantastic hair. I didn't believe it though, & had zero confidence. I'm much more confident now, even though I'm nearly 40, can't get back to my pre-baby weight, & my hair is going grey.

EmeraldShamrock · 16/06/2019 21:43

I'm 23 and feel my looks are fading already
You're still so young, you'll kick yourself in 10 years for not seeing it now.

Ginger1982 · 16/06/2019 21:43

No, I would say that I'm 'better looking' now. As a teenager I was overweight, didn't use make up, hair was a mess etc. Even when I look back to my early 20s, I don't think I had much going for me. My figure isn't great now having had DS, but when I look in the mirror now I think I look much better as a 36 year old woman then I did as a 16 or even 26 year old girl.

WeCameToDance · 16/06/2019 21:44

I was a damn unfortunate looking child. Bullied for being ugly and having bad hair. Then when I was about 17/18 my face changed and suddenly I was attractive. It was very discombobulating. I went to university and got hit on a lot and thought everybody was taking the piss.
I have put on weight since then that I'm now trying to loose but my face has remained the same. I still get noticed but not as much. I have never had much confidence so this suits me just fine!

NCforthis2019 · 16/06/2019 21:45

Nah - I looked awful when I was younger. I was bullied. I had terrible acne. I hate looking at myself in pictures - I seemed happy but no confidence then. I paid a boy to be my boyfriend. I think I look better as I got older. I prefer me now

BelulahBlanca · 16/06/2019 21:46

My sister has always been stunning, lovely figure, beautiful face, beautiful clothes but no one can convince her of this. Bit awkward as well when she laments that she is ugly as we are identical twins (she is the pretty one though)

insancerre · 16/06/2019 21:48

Yes
And a size 6
But zero confidence
I’m older, fatter and more grey but a llot more confident

WelcomeToGreenvale · 16/06/2019 21:48

Yeah I was really attractive. And far slimmer than I thought. Now I'm actually fat and it's like, what was I even thinking? I starved myself as a teenager because I was a size 12 and not an 8 like some of my friends. Looking back at photos, I looked unhealthy. Pale and fragile. No danger there now...

mollpop · 16/06/2019 21:48

No

tomboytown · 16/06/2019 21:48

Yes
But never thought I was.
Recently someone told me I was dreamy in school, and out of their league. He was gorgeous!

mondaysaturday · 16/06/2019 21:54

I was a pretty child, an ugly, awkward teenager and started caring about my looks in my twenties and probably went a bit overboard with shitloads of makeup, bleached hair, dodgy extensions etc etc.

Now I'm in my thirties and I eat well, work out, have better physical fitness (was a smoker in my twenties) and I'm much more natural and toned down in my style and I feel really good for it. It comes with an innate confidence I didn't have before. I've had a baby and my body has changed but I'm much more confident in my own skin now than I ever was.

shins · 16/06/2019 21:55

It is SO upsetting to see so many girls and young women who thought they were ugly. I see it starting to happen with my lovely adolescent daughter. Neither of her brothers gives a thought to their looks needless to say. Makes me furious that she's been "got at" despite me NEVER saying anything negative about anyone's looks in front of her, including my own.

I was pretty and slim when I was young. Not traffic stopping but pretty enough to be aware of it. I was an insecure mess inside though, much happier now!

GetOffTheTableMabel · 16/06/2019 21:57

I was. It’s made ageing harder because my confidence has grown in some ways but my confidence in what I look like has diminished. It’s made me realise that too much of my sense of self has always been bound up in what I look like - and I think less of myself for that.

WoollyMollyMonkey · 16/06/2019 22:07

I’ve never thought I was pretty, and I think I look like a haggered old witch now. But when I look back at old photos now I think I wasn’t as bad as I thought at the time. Hope that’s the case now too, but fear not! If I catch sight of myself in an unexpected mirror or reflection I recoil in horror!!

EssentialHummus · 16/06/2019 22:10

Nope, not very attractive and very uncomfortable in my skin. I'm making up for lost time in my thirties Grin.

BetsyBigNose · 16/06/2019 22:14

I had about 18 months when I was 15/16 if that counts?!

GiggleMcDimples · 16/06/2019 22:16

I actually think I look better with age. I'm late 30s now.

BloodyhellMartha · 16/06/2019 22:25

No, I wasn't. I was always aware that I wasn't 'pretty' or 'popular' and it bothered me a lot. I was quite a gobby kid, who showed off a lot and wanted to be liked and admired, but more than anything I wanted to be pretty. The pretty girls were the ones who got everything, and I was incredibly jealous and frustrated that I wasn't one of them.

Looking back now, in my 50s, at old photos I can see that I was accurate in my summing up at the time - I wasn't just lacking confidence (I actually had quite a lot of that). I was not pretty, and never have been. And it hurt quite a lot to realise that was the main thing girls were judged on in the 70s and 80s and that there was nothing I could do to make up for what nature had bestowed on me.

Springfern · 16/06/2019 22:32

Yes very pretty. And slim with very big boobs. From the age of 14 I was harrassed by men all the time and it really got to me, I felt like an object. I'm still attractive but have wrinkles and my boobs have shrunk and I have developed a resting bitch face (withering glare some might say), all of which have thankfully knocked the harassment on the head!