So, my DH and I have not been getting on for some time and during a particular argument a year or so ago I told him that even my mum was surprised at how little he helps me. It was a comment my mum made shortly after our DS arrived. My DH is not very helpful around the house nor does he give much emotional support. He works 60 hour weeks (including a long commute) and sees that as his contribution. And yes, financially he has been supporting us through maternity leave. I have contributed as much as I can but obviously he's been paying the lion's share. He does not however take on any of the childcare and only very little of the house work. I do remember an argument we had when DS was a couple of weeks old and I asked DH to take him out for an hour so that I could get some much needed sleep. He told me that wasn't possible as he couldn't do any more than he already did. He worked to provide a roof over our head, he didn't have the energy to do more. My mum's comment came from that time.
I should never have told him what she said, but I did and he now brings it up at every opportunity. My mum has offered to talk to him, clear the air and start afresh. He won't have any of it. Says she would have to be crawling on her knees to him, bleeding and begging for his forgiveness. He would kick her in the face, make her feel small and finish her off. All sorts of vile threats. I'm stuck somewhere between. I don't think my mum was unreasonable with her comments and her subsequent offer to speak to him. I shouldn't have shared her comments with him, but it's too late for that. What do you think? Does he have a point that she has spoken out of turn and should have kept her nose out of our marriage? I love my DM dearly and she's been a great support to me. She lives in another country so we don't see much of her anyway, but my husband now doesn't want her to visit and he's not happy with me taking the kids for more than a couple of days. I recently took them for a week which he reluctantly agreed to. This is causing me a real headache. I want to take the kids for another week while I'm still on mat leave with DD. It's my sisters wedding coming up. He doesn't want to go and he doesn't seem happy about me going for more than a couple of days either.
Sorry for the long rambling post...