To think that Hypnobirthing is a load of crap

[Poppy1774]

Just that really. I did all the affirmations, breathing exercises, meditation, etc. In the end needed lots of intervention for the safety of me and my baby (and we were both healthy afterwards, thank goodness).
However I felt disappointed with my 'birth experience'. I wish I had never heard of hypnobirthing. If I hadn't, I'd have accepted what happened much more quickly. I wasn't naive about childbirth - I knew that things could go wrong. Yet somehow hypnobirthing got into my head and made me feel that intervention = bad = failure. I wasn't positive enough/calm enough etc. Difficult to be positive and calm when in absolute agony and baby in distress.
Two of my friends have also had the same reaction after births that did not involve breathing a baby out in a birthing pool.
I feel hypnobirthing is not just nonsense, it is also actually damaging to women's self-esteem after birth.
And before you tell me it helped with your second birth after a difficult first birth...second labours are often easier!
Rant over. Thoughts?

Agree OP. After a horrendous 1st labour I went to a hypnotherapist when pregnant with second. She made me feel like my awful first labour with all of its interventions was all my fault for not breathing properly. As it turned out my second labour was a breeze but that's because it was only 4 hours and baby was in the correct position. Not 30+ hrs trying to push a baby out sideways!

I read the book and the only useful thing I took from it was about the use of language of choice. This reminded me that I was in control and wasn't just having stuff done to me like the first time. Second time round I wasn't scared to speak up for myself and question the opinions of people who just want you over and done with ASAP.

I haven’t rtft...

I haven’t had hypnobirthibg classes, but, when I went into labour and it progressed unexpectedly quickly, I used what I believe are hypnobirthing techniques. Using controlled breathing, focusing on myself and believing that my body would naturally know what to do, I managed to get through it and stay calm and gave birth in the kitchen floor. It definitely helped me and I had a beautiful baby and a stress free birth, given what a terrible situation it was.

Yanbu...damaging bs...although derp breathing to help pain is useful i dont think anyone can breathe a baby out.

Gave birth to number 4 on Friday. Sure I called Marie Mongan a fucking lying cunt at one point.

On a more serious note. Number 4 was most traumatic. Bigger baby, slightly transverse, shoulder dystonia, 2nd degree tear and transferred in from home for last 30mins. Certainly was very different to my other 3 births where I did breathe them out and felt very much in control of and trusted my body. I guess all births are different.

I was completely shocked at how well it worked for me.
First birth 5 hours labour
Second was 2 hours
Third was 20 mins.

I used it with my first (only) birth after it was recommended to me by a friend who used it during a planned homebirth which ended with emergency transfer to hospital and a c-section. She credited it with helping her manage what otherwise might have been a frightening and distressing experience.

I was fortunate enough to have a peaceful waterbirth at home. 7 hours. At one point the midwives asked me to get out of the pool so they could examine me because they couldn’t tell when I was having ‘surges’ so they thought I wasn’t in active labour and were considering going home. I was 9cm dilated, and DS arrived shortly afterwards.

His shoulder got stuck and the midwife who was delivering him had to reach in to give him some help. I wasn’t aware of this until she explained it afterwards. I didn’t need any stitches.

Who knows whether my positive birth experience was down to Hypnobirthing or just good luck and it would have been like that anyway? But i can’t see how it can do any harm.

Birth plans focussing on a natural birth (IE shunning any sort of intervention or pain relief as failure) are a major contributor to PND. I read a really interesting study on it, can't find it now but will try and dig out a link...

I think it's very odd to consider medical intervention as such a bad thing. Giving birth is very dangerous without modern medicine. I'm not saying that means no one should have a natural birth and if you want one then absolutely go for it, I know women who have done it and found it to be a great experience, but it's safe for you to do this because there is medical intervention waiting for the wings in case things don't go according to plan, and it's absolutely fine for women to use that help when they need it, even if it wasn't part of their plan. How we've decided that this means a woman has somehow failed or not given birth the right way is completely beyond me. There is no other instance medically where you would go through such intense pain with so many potentially fatal outcomes (to you and the baby) and anyone would dare to suggest that you should try suffer through it without pain relief or intervention, otherwise you didn't do it right. It's crazy. It's such an odd thing to push on people.

I haven't done hypnobirthing, but have had hypnotherapy.
It's a pile of shite.

You are right pregnant sea. This is just another stick for women to beat themselves with.

It is something that was always bullshit, in my considered opinion.

Utter crap.

Yanbu. I think if it helps you keep calm then that's great but I hate the whole interventions = failure rubbish and telling women that their baby is transverse because they aren't breathing right. Labour hurts a lot and interventions can save lives.

YABU hypnobirthing helped me even when my births included interventions. I found it clued me up as to what happened physiologically during childbirth, gave me some useful breathing techniques and an opportunity to prepare myself to go through labour.

There is always a chance that medical intervention any type of course that doesn’t make that clear is probably rubbish, the most appropriate attitude to childbirth is to be positive but realistic and to make sure you’re informed so you can take a view on what you might want in different scenarios. A good Hypnobirthing course can help with that but it doesn’t guarantee perfection.

Interventions don’t make you a failure but having unrealistic expectations can make you feel like one.

By the way you can breath a baby out but it just involves using your breath during pushing rather than holding it. It does however help massively to have a midwife who can coach you through doing this at the time. This definitely made the difference to me.

I would add breathing the baby out doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt but it does massively reduce the risk of tearing and reduce the pain a little.

Don't want to derail the thread, but those who felt their course prepared them well for the chance of interventions / how to apply the techniques to a more medical birth (@Scubalubs87 @plinkplink, @sausages18 @fragglerock75 @ivyleaf4 or anyone else!) can you share which course you did?
I'm interested in using the techniques to stay calm as I'm quite frightened about labour and birth. But I don't have any expectation of "breathing my baby out" in a bath - I'm likely to be induced, and if there's any genetic link to this, to have a long labour, instrumental delivery, and a fuck off massive tear like my mum and my sister. But anything that might help me not have a nervous breakdown partway through would be welcome!

The thing that is nonsense OP is seeing any birth where mother and baby come through it alive as a 'failure'.
In victorian times and for thousands of years previously women and babies regularly died in childbirth leaving whe families behind with no mothere.
Thank God that doesn't happen so much now.

The hypnobirthing class I did was focused on staying calm and as in control of your birth as possible. It really helped me feel calm and in control of my birth despite having an emergency c-section.

@JonnyPocketRocket I did the Marie Morgan course with a lovely experienced hypnotherapist. I have no idea if the American woman whose voice is on the CD was actually Marie Morgan but even just remembering it now makes me feel super-relaxed. I did feel slightly sorry for my husband and the midwife who had to listen to it repeatedly!

I had a long labour with intervention at the end (DS got 'stuck'), with only about 20 mins of gas and air up until the spinal they gave me right before they helped him out (given as they thought they may have to do an emergency c-section).

DH said that I just put the G&A down and forgot about it, as I just seemed so focused and in my own zone! He also found the whole experience much more terrifying than me (I had to be bluelighted to a different hospital) - I really feel that the breathing, affirmations and visualisations I did before made what could have been a horrendous experience a very positive one.

I'm sorry you didn't have the experience you'd hoped for op.

Personally I love hypnobirthing and I feel that it helped me through the first 14 hours of my 16 hour labour (first baby) enormously.

I think it's a bit of a misconception to associate hypnobirth exclusively with no intervention / 'magical' water births etc etc. From what I understand the relaxation and breathing techniques can be used to help a mother through any situation - c-section, induction etc.

I think it's the NAME OP...'hypnobirthing' really is false advertising isn't it. But 'a bunch of relaxation techniques that you can learn elsewhere' wouldn't sell as many products or maintain the waa-waa's feelings of superiority , would it

I read the book but didn't do the actual exercises for my first. Had a horrific time. I felt angry too. None of the books had mentioned I or my baby might be seriously ill and I felt cheated. These feelings are normal and will subside. It's such a big moment you think it'll matter forever that you 'failed'. Yet it doesn't and you didn't!
I'm doing hypnobirthing for my second with all the affirmations and stuff. I need to do something to manage my anxiety. I don't think it'll improve my chances of a 'natural birth' but I'm hoping it will help me keep calm even if it goes wrong.
Keep talking about your experience. Birth trauma is a thing and don't be afraid to ask for help. And get the right kind of help (trauma does not necessarily mean PND even though a lot of healthcare professionals think it does).

*relaxation/coping techniques

I HATE hynobirthing because of the fucking ridiculous idea that somehow if your birth is too difficult it’s your fault! Bullshit.

Some people have easier births and that’s it. A friend of mine goes on and on and on about her births because of hybobirthing vs my awful traumatic and stressful birth but she is 5’10 and had 7lb babies whilst I am 5’6 and had a 9lb+ Christmas turkey baby. These things bloody well matter, not anything you can do or control really. And it’s damaging to women to suggest they can.

@JonnyPocketRocket

The course I followed was the online course from The Positive Birth Company. I felt it gave me quite a realistic view of what to expect and how to stay calm even if things didn’t go to plan. I was pretty scared of tearing and there is a section of videos which talk about why a tear isn’t necessarily a bad thing. As it turned out, I did end up with a second degree tear and a fair few stitches as my son arrived quickly but it was fine and far the disaster I had previously imagined.

I’m quite anxious by nature and if all the techniques did was help keep me calm I’m happy with that. I struggle when I feel out of control and it did help me to feel more able to cope with an uncontrollable situation.

As I said above, I know many other factors contributed to me having a fairly straightforward labour - an amazing midwife and student in delivery, straightforward pregnancy and the position of the baby - but I do genuinely believe following some of the techniques helped me.

It saddens me though reading that anyone feels a failure if their births go down a different path. Any woman who births a baby, in whichever fashion, is a bloody hero.