To think that Hypnobirthing is a load of crap

[Poppy1774]

Just that really. I did all the affirmations, breathing exercises, meditation, etc. In the end needed lots of intervention for the safety of me and my baby (and we were both healthy afterwards, thank goodness).
However I felt disappointed with my 'birth experience'. I wish I had never heard of hypnobirthing. If I hadn't, I'd have accepted what happened much more quickly. I wasn't naive about childbirth - I knew that things could go wrong. Yet somehow hypnobirthing got into my head and made me feel that intervention = bad = failure. I wasn't positive enough/calm enough etc. Difficult to be positive and calm when in absolute agony and baby in distress.
Two of my friends have also had the same reaction after births that did not involve breathing a baby out in a birthing pool.
I feel hypnobirthing is not just nonsense, it is also actually damaging to women's self-esteem after birth.
And before you tell me it helped with your second birth after a difficult first birth...second labours are often easier!
Rant over. Thoughts?

I definitely see your point, OP.

I’m pregnant with my first and have done two hypnobirthing courses so far. One of them in particular just seems to me to be a money spinner - they’re just ‘qualifying’ new ‘instructors’ everyday according to their Instagram page, and you get a poorly proof-read booklet with a picture of a cute baby on the front as your takeaway. And as another poster says, 90% of the positive testimonials are from second or third time mums.

The thing that irritates me the most is that both courses go on and on about how your body is ‘perfectly designed’ to give birth. I can see why that might be comforting to some people but it annoys me because:

1. First, intelligent design is not a scientific theory. It’s a theological argument for the existence of a God - ie the idea that our bodies are so remarkable that some divine being must have ‘designed’ them - and in fact all living things. I don’t think the idea of divine designer has any place in birth theory.
2. I know an awful lot of women whose bodies, it turns out, were not ‘perfectly designed’ to give birth. Funny that. My mother is one of them. My best friend is another. And the statistics bear that out. Did the divine designer just get them wrong?

I see it as an extra tool to help a woman keep calm through the pain (of an uncomplicated labour), I never would have considered that hypnobirthing = guaranteed straight forward birth.

This. I used hypnobirthing for my first and found it brilliant. But that's also because DS1 was out in 4 hours start to finish, I never found the contractions overwhelming and could breathe through them. Hypnobirthing was the tool I used to stay calm and focused.

DS2 had to be monitored throughout labor so I had an epidural in case he needed to be out quickly via c-section.

I don't consider either of my births to be better than the other and quite honestly would do either one of them again in a heartbeat.

I think it something that works for some and not for others.

I had a good experience with hypnobirthing, it helped me stay more focused and taught me some breathing techniques. I was never under the illusion it would prevent any intervention, make my birthing experience a walk in the park but when I was having difficulties it did help me.
I would and have recommended it to friends.

Sorry you had a bad experience OP.
I found Hypnobirthing brilliant but the course I did wasn’t about having no interventions / pain relief or anything like that. The lady running mine was a midwife so maybe that helped, and I’m also a nurse so wasn’t adverse to intervention (except an epidural). I had a complicated labour and was induced, so couldn’t use the pool (but didn’t care by that point haha) had gas and air for pain relief. I know 100% if I hadn’t done the course I’d have been a wreck, but because I knew what was normal and what my body was doing I was relaxed. I felt so in control, which was very empowering.

I’m sorry to hear you had a horrible experience, not being nosy but have you ever spoken to anyone about it, do you feel you have been able to move on from it?

magic how is it a load of crap? Techniques to encourage you to deliver oxygen to your working muscles, how to return to a level of calmness if you have a wobble, using optimal birthing positions, relaxation/distraction methods during labour, ways to ensure you're making informed decisions. They all sound sensible to me.

I think the techniques could’ve helped me. NCT lead me to believe it would be like a period pain. My baby was back to back and got stuck. I thought I was dying due to the pain; I panicked and started screaming. I didn’t have a clue about breathing. I was in such a state. A midwife came over and sternly told me how to breathe properly. That was the first I had heard of this. She told me to focus on this picture on the wall and I’ve never forgotten it. It did help me get through the terrible pain somewhat until I got an epidural.

I think the way it’s called “hypnobirthing” sounds pretentious and yes the way people go on on SM about bloody surges (FUCK OFF) makes you see red so Yanbu but think of it as helpful techniques without some poncey name.

People talk bollocks on SM.

It's a bit too woo for me, my midwife mentioned it and I just said no thank you I'll have the drugs

Totally agree with PP’s inverted commas on ‘qualifying’ and ‘instructors’.

I posted above about my positive experience.

But that was 12 years ago - and although it wasn’t unheard of, awareness seemed to be quite low, and the 5 midwives I came across in the course of my care all were interested in a “we’re hearing about this but you’re our first / second - tell us about it?” kind of way.

My instructor was an experienced NHS Clinical Psychologist, and experienced hypnotherapy practitioner. She does hypnobirthing “TM” these days (still on my fb!) but when I saw her, it was her own short course.

I can well believe that there has been a huge growth and plenty of dicks with their own “business” peddling stupid expectations instead of helpful facts and techniques.

I agree OP.

First birth: Did hypnobirthing, ended with EMCS. Felt like a complete failure for weeks after. Hypnobirthing teacher insisted I send on my birth story after the birth which was hugely upsetting to write as it hadn’t been the calm drug free birth I’d hoped for. She didn’t even send me a reply which made me feel like even more of a failure. On reflection, the birth was fine; we were both healthy and well and I was well looked after and we were never in real danger and recovered well.

Second birth: Read Juju Sundin’s “Birth Skills” and hired a TENS machine. I was realistic about knowing it was going to hurt and was prepared to go with the flow. Had a successful VBAC on TENS + G&A and a lot of stomping and other tricks from the above book. It was the most awesome experience of my life and I have been on a high ever since (DS2 is 3 weeks tomorrow).

I personally feel that hypnobirthing unnecessarily focussed one birth path only; drug free or else. With the gas, I was calm and totally in the zone, without it I was howling like a banshee and losing control. I know which was better for labour progressing naturally and smoothly.

I want to say it’s a modern trend for everything to be, well - a thing. But maybe people will say it’s always been thus.

For me, it’s like BLW. I read the book, I liked the idea of the baby being able to take the lead, and I definitely liked the idea of not bothering to purée things

And slings. I bloody loved slings.

But to me - it was just a way of carrying my baby easily, and it was just finger food. Yeah, there was a little of my parenting philosophy in there - staying very close, being able to chatter, letting her have food choices. But it wasn’t a THING. I didn’t have to BE a “BLWer”, I didn’t need to call myself an “attachment parent”, and I really didn’t need to join a group for sling owners.

That’s the problem I think with some people’s approach to hypnobirthing - and I mean the pregnant women as well as the “instructors”. They need it to be a THING. It has to be a club. So when it doesn’t go the way of the club, you’re suddenly out in the cold - completely, or certainly in your own mind.

I wish people would have the confidence to just take the things that appeal to them and work for them and use them - without having to join a tribe / cult!

My experience of hypnobirthing was like some pp - it focused on a positive birth experience whatever that entailed. I had an emergency c-section at night. My notes were marked 'do not operate without a consultant, the on call consultant must come in' but they couldn't wait. I was shaking so uncontrollably they couldn't get the epidural in and they threatened me with a general anaesthetic. I used the hypnobirthing techniques and calmed down enough for them to get the epidural in. I felt so positively about the birth after and I'm convinced that was down to the affirmations.

I found the technique I read in a birth book of pretending you are somewhere else to escape the grim reality pretty good when i had to have an emergency c section am extremely squeamish having an operation awake is basically my worst nightmare. I used the same technique when stuck in a crowded lift. Whatever gets you through the night I guess

To me purely on an anecdotal level it does seem a load of crap- everyone who I have known who goes on about it religiously beforehand nearly always has an emergency c section.

Like I say I had two easy births- if I’d have used hypnobirthing I’d be no doubt saying it was because of that. It really wasn’t- it’s sheer good luck instead.

It worked wonders when I was having dental work done with minimal anesthetic as I was pregnant and they were worried.
In actual labour... did fuck all

I used some CDs I found online before my second and found them very helpful. The birth didn't go well at all but as others have said I felt a lot calmer about it all and quite zen, even as I was rushed around, more and more doctors and midwives piled in and the baby was rushed straight away afterwards. . I didn't attend a group though, I imagine had I and wild claims were being made I'd have felt quite pissed off too 😁

Yes totally agree OP. I did hypnobirthing with my first baby. I remember telling people at work that birth was all about a positive mind frame, we watched videos of women walking in the woods whilst having 'surges' and at the end of every session finished by watching a video of a woman giving birth by humming and breathing the baby out. I listened to those tracks every night and practised so hard.

When labour came I was exhausted because I had terrible sciatica in the week before and couldn't walk. I had a 44 hour labour with a back to back baby, codine, diamorphine, epidural and syntocinon and finally an EMCS after only ever achieving 5cm, after which I went on to the ward and my husband went home as it was nighttime. It was absolutely horrendous and I felt such a failure. If only I'd asked for more time before the drip, if only I could have stayed upright longer or not had an epidural. It really messed my mind for a very long time. I feel very bitter that it was sold as if you do these things enough and practise enough you'll have a good birth. I mean who even breathes their baby out anyway?! (Ok some do, but it's unlikely). I think it set me up for totally unrealistic expectations of birth and myself. I remember crying when I got home as my husband has said 'you've just given birth' and I said to myself 'no I haven't'. I think the feeling of failure do have a lot to do with personality and for me a touch of perfectionism.

All of that said I think it helped me to manage in my long labour and the breathing techniques were useful. I did use those again in my 2nd birth which had intervention again. I am due my 3rd soon, haven't started listening to anything, not sure I want to but I do know I want an epidural and I will not feel like a failure if I get one (fingers mightily crossed).

I don't know if hypnobirthing is specifically to blame here - rather it's part of a wider narrative that says birth should be this, that and the other, and if you don't achieve that, you've done it wrong.

My labour and birth were shit. My lasting memory of labour, is plodding up and down the river Thames in the middle of December, in the middle of the night with my husband, and having to make the conscious decision not to throw myself into the river, because I was in so much pain, I wanted to die. Not in a hysterical panicked way, but in a considered "it would all be over then" way.

I felt like a wimp afterwards. Other women just breathed better. Others tried harder. Others had the right frame of mind. Others approached it with a more positive attitude. Others laboured "more productively". Other women CHOSE to make the birth a positive experience, why couldn't I have chosen to do the same? Etc. It wasn't until I went to my birth reflection 8 months afterwards, and the consultant was so horrified by how it had gone, that I realised that non of it was my fault - some births are just shit.

And that's the reality. You can prepare, breathe, have the right lighting and music, bounce on your birth ball til it pops under your giant pregnant arse, and sometimes it makes no difference, and the birth is still going to be shit! But that sentiment doesn't sell courses. It doesn't make for trendy memes. And it's not as lovely as the idea that you're a complete goddess, who is in control 🤷‍♀️

I disagree, but I'm sorry it didn't help you. I thought it helped immensely.

First baby. I had gestational diabetes and had to be induced as a result. I managed to be in labour for 12 hours drug free and felt fine. I was on the full whack of Syntocinon and the staff were really surprised that I didn't ask for any pain relief. I couldn't have had an epidural even if I wanted to as I'm seriously allergic to most anesthesitics.

My friend who did the same class as me gave birth to an 11lb (first) baby after a 2 day drug free labour!

I work in healthcare and think hypobirthing is like many other medical treatments - they work for some people and not others.

some women get more pain with birth some woman have quicker easier births. I suspect its all about relaxation & making the experience less frightening not a magic wand removing all/most pain - my favourite bit of a film is in Junior when the Danny de Vito's wife says I want drugs! (had breech & NOT via caesarean - don't think hypnobirth would have changed/helped there either!)

Nothing I've read about hypnobirthing suggests that every labour can be intervention free or that you have failed if you end up with a c section. The siobhan miller book includes loads of case studies of women who ended up with very medicalised births. It's supposed to keep you calmer and more in control, and help you make decisions rather than feeling powerless and panicked.
A lot will depend on what sort of person you are I think - some will stay calm without this and others will panic no matter what. It's just one technique to help. You can plan to have a hypnobirth alongside epidural or c section if that's your preference.

Completely agree OP - it did nothing for me at all. Had a 1-2-1 course over several months and it seemed like a license to print money! I didn't have especially high hopes, was just after something to help keep me calm - but once labour ramped up it was useless for me personally. What I really didn't like about it was that women who didn't have the promised 'easy, breathing out of the baby' were blamed because they didn't work hard enough at it, or hadn't practised the visualisations enough, or they in some way wanted a fuss or drama etc. I had a traumatic birth and needed medical intervention. I could have spent a million hours visualising and affirming but I could never have breathed that baby out!

If you’d have asked me first time when I was nduced with severe pre eclampsia I’d have said a load of rubbish. I’d listened to the cds in advance and assumed they’d be in my subconscious. Wrong. Plus I was seriously ill and a lot of horrid things going on.

But second time with straightforward birth (induction on due date) it was good. I listened to my hypnobirthing cd on a loop my whole labour and it made it manageable. When my waters went I stopped listening and lost control for a bit and was nearly throwing up in pain until I listened to my cd again and breathed right. Had a quick labour, no tears, great recovery. Totally different birth anyhow.

I guess if yours is a normal complication-free birth it works a treat. Might help if it’s a tricky birth but might not. If you’re not listening to a recording you need a partner well versed in it to tell you how to breathe for many hours!

I did the UK version (Natal Hypnotherapy) and found it really helpful in terms of physical relaxation and being mentally prepared and confident for a straightforward birth which I was very lucky to have both times.
I don't think hypnobirthing can guarantee a perfect delivery but it can definitely help to promote confidence and reduce anxiety which will result in an easier delivery if things do proceed in a straightforward manner.

It worked incredibly well for me. Used with second baby, things didn't go according to plan either! Medical intervention very nearly a c section. It was fantastic for me, so good that I still use it now for stress/ anxiety. I listened to it most nights leading up to birth so when the time came it was all in my head. Just as well really as I was rushed in with a hemorrhage and thought I might die at one point. However I did have natural birth and this was a massive mental help getting through labour.