To wonder why people have children when they clearly put their career first, by having a 24hr maternity nurse from day one and a full-time nanny from 3 months?

[gogetter]

Call me old fashioned but why bother when you are going to see your child for maybe an hour a day on weekdays?
It's not financially needed for mum to return to work (far from) so why leave your teeny weeny baby with a nanny during the most amazing time of their lifes?

A bit strange I fear!

Can't really comment on the stability bit - my nephew alternates between CM, both sets of grandparents and his cousins which he loves. But he is a fairly outgoing little chap - maybe it doesn't suit all kids.

I think expecting childcare for free is a bit rough - but perhaps the family members like it? I know my parents love having their grandson around when its their turn.

MarshaB - turns out he is a better SAHD than I am SAHM (I work PT) - but in my defence DS is still at nursery when I am at work.

rofl...Xenia, you are sooo funny...so, do you mean then, if someone is a WOHM they have more of a right to "opt" out of the sexual side of things...lololol....

Lucyellensmum...you are so sweet...well, I obviously don't know you, but you come across as absolutely lovely!

PPB...ironing sheets....well...now that is something I would never do....we use those stretchy kinda sheets...
oh, and the best way to teach a man ironing is for them to join the army...my dh is marvelous at ironing...

My husband was in the army and also irons beautifully but I think making all men sign up a bit drastic.

No one ever taught me anything about 'keeping house'! I had to do stuff for myself from practically the moment I could walk and that included ironing. I was also an army cadet so that may have helped as we have ironing drummed into us, but face it, ladies, ironing ain't that difficult really, is it!? I iron hardly anything. I used to iron my school uniform every morning even if it wasn't creased (army enforcements, you see), but these days, if it's creased I hang it the night before, if it isn't creased I do a jig and say hurrah for bloody feminism. My husband irons his own stuff if it needs doing and we don't iron underwear, towels or bed sheets. I taught myself to cook (had cookery classes at my v. nice school, but nothing too extravagent), and can cook anything, because funnily enough I can read instructions. As for dusting, hoovering, cleaning floors and bathrooms/kitchens - not too tough to get the hang of, and most people INCLUDING BOYS (my husband did nothing til he left home at 25 and had to fend for himself and even then his mum cooked for him, but now he can do it all and does do it all) leave home with very little knowledge these days, because other things have become more important in this industrious world... LIKE maths for example. But we all get the hang of it and I have found, at my tender age of 24, that there is no greater lesson than life itself, so if it needs ironing and there is no one else to do it or who will do it, boys will get the hang of it!

By the way, I was always one of the top in my year group at my v.nice school, and my mother teaches maths, so I have always had good mathematical knowledge. I got 100% on my English A level and had my work published in a guide and used at a conference. I work 60 hours a week as a nanny and am about to start teaching; when I have a child I will take a year's leave and then be straight back to work for various personal and financial reasons. I still know how to iron IF I WANT TO, and cook and clean! Oh and I even realise you have to separate darks and whites!!!

tegan, I think that is what I meant when I said about attachment theory: if a child has to be with an alternative carer, that's fine, but it shouldn't be the case for that carer to change every few months as I kind of picked up from another post about au pairs. I am 100% for mothers going back to work.

My brother definitely does NOT live in filth! He had the same upbringing as I did and his home is spotless. My other brother is a sloth and moves around a lot with his job. But these are all personal choices we are talking about... personalities... not anything to do with mum staying at home or boys and girls being taught to sew and cook. Oh, that's another thing, I send all my sewing elsewhere cause I am rubbish at it. Bad TFUN!

I never said anything about SAHMs

But that's what this thread is meant to be about - SAHMs and working mums. So forgive me for getting confused into thinking you were talking about young people's ability to cook and clean, being linked to their mother staying at home.

No if you read the post it was about educating them in the domestic arts at school

So I stand by what I say in all of my posts. Not exactly difficult to cook these days, when every chef and his wife (Tana Ramsey) have cookery books out.

sorry lost the will to live around this point..

"Change a diaper? Build a fire?" (ie children should be taught in school = implication as important as maths and English).

Not quite sure how we strayed into what should be taught in school but rofpmsl at the idea that building a fire is an essential skill these days. Not much call for it in Kew I must confess.

I learnt my nappy changing skills on the job - DS didn;t seem to mind.

Acually think Home Ec should be compulsary in schools for boys and girls.I work with some socially dysfunctional families, crap mothers who had crap mothers who cannot keep a home, put a meal together,clean or budget as they were never 'shown' so school is the only way they will pick it up.

I am all for working mums.

I went back to full time work when dd1 was 5 weeks old and my mum had her everyday so I am all for the working mum as long as the child has a good routine and being pushed from one to another is not routine or stable no matter who has it.

my nephew is cared for by 3 different generations and as such has 3 totally different kinds of care well 4 if you include his home care at weekends.

what subject would building a fire come under? Arson for beginners?

dont think building a fire needs to be on curriculam!!

DS (2) has been watching DH build fires and has a pretty good idea how to do it. He is more 'arson - beyond beginner' I think.

When I was at school we had a 'bedsit ' between the two home ec rooms and every now and again we would have to clean it and the teacher would come and mark us on it!!

Did flower arranging too,setting a table, cleaning a cooker,defrosting a fridge,preparing anything from a snack to a dinner party,meal planning on a tight budget, I could go on.Quite funny when I look back but it was a break from the academic stuff and it did give me an other o level!!

I was just saying that some housewives aren't very good at the job, that's all and someone, presumably their husband, should be insisting on the higher 1950s standards. I'm not sure you get such a good deal out of a stay at home mother nowadays as men used to.

lol Xenia possibly.
And dh is much more involved with ds and does the ironing/hoovering occasionally. Very different to my father who was very traditional.
Aint life grand

oh xenia - you are BAD

CHOCOLATEPEANUT on Sun 29-Jul-07 20:11:39
Acually think Home Ec should be compulsary in schools for boys and girls.I work with some socially dysfunctional families, crap mothers who had crap mothers who cannot keep a home, put a meal together,clean or budget as they were never 'shown' so school is the only way they will pick it up.

With the greatest of respect, i don't think if these families are that dysfunctional, being "shown" how to keep house is going to motivate them to want to do it really is it?

I guess by your standards then i am pretty dysfunctional, however i did do HE and i can promise you, my house is an utter disgrace, i can cook when i put my mind to it though and i can't budget for toffee. I am an intelligent woman who choses to stay at home to be a mum, not a skivvy - if people who stay home to look after their children squander their time on domestic drudgery, that is their concern. Right now i cannot afford to have someone "keep house" for me, so i do the bare minimum and spend the rest of my time with my DD, find some time for MN of course, but this is what i would expect of a carer too.

OF course, i wont get offended by these posts that suggest SAHMs should be domestic slaves, because no one is actually being serious - ARE THEY??

The 1950s housewife thing was re printed in a paper when DD1 was small (about 15 years ago) i vividly remember sitting in my friends kitchen with stomach ache from laughing at it so much.

I am not judging anyone lucyellensmum,and i certainly do not think that what you describe is being socially dysfunctional.

The families i refer to are the 'wayne and waynettas' of the world and there are actually half way houses paid by the taxpayer that 'teaches' these people the 'skills' i am taliking about.

Guess if it was compuslary then we might save a bit of cash later on!