To wonder why people have children when they clearly put their career first, by having a 24hr maternity nurse from day one and a full-time nanny from 3 months?

[gogetter]

Call me old fashioned but why bother when you are going to see your child for maybe an hour a day on weekdays?
It's not financially needed for mum to return to work (far from) so why leave your teeny weeny baby with a nanny during the most amazing time of their lifes?

A bit strange I fear!

LE'SMUM - I think there are good childminders, probably excellent ones. I've just always felt that you have more control with a nanny. That's important to me.

And full time nursery seems a bit dull to me. The same place every day. But I know some little ones love their nurseries.

Those skills are important for both boys and girls. Ironing sheets properly is a useful thing to know how to do. I wasn't taught that in school (n my mom did) but I would have used it much more than the trig and calculas classes I took.

Ironing sheets useful! Surely not. I haven't read the whole thread but that's a joke right?

What about baking a cake? How to put together a weekly menu plan? Change a diaper? Build a fire? Are those things useless to?

So it wasn't a joke?

I think most nurseries do allocate a primary carer per child.
At DS' nursery, in any given day there are 3-4 carers in his room depending on the number of children that day. To have 10 different carers would be highly unlikely in a given day - that would imply that there were 50 children in the room

I know that one of the reasons he enjoys nursery is because of the 'messy play' - shaving cream and oats (not at the same time) that he isn't allowed to do at home.

I think he also enjoys the structure. I had to pick him up early the other day, and he was crying because he wasn't allowed to go to bed with the other children...

I have no problem with my DS being taught how to bake a cake - he already likes to help. But he'll never learn irnong of any sort in our house.

There is a daughter in law in your future who won't thank you for that

For what - not teaching my son to iron? Or for teaching him to bake?

DH doesn't iron and I do not blame MIL for that.

(Besides if my future DIL/SIL biggest complaint is that DH and I never taught him to iron I think I will getting off lightly).

niecie, if you are talking about below-2s, the staff-to-child ratio dictated by Ofsted (I believe for nurseries and CMs) is 1-3. So to have 10 carers, you are talking about a nursery with 30 babies in one room, which is A LOT of babies. My experience is that baby rooms tend to be quite small - and I have visited a few nurseries.

My dcs' nursery operates a key carer policy, where one member of staff is primarily responsible for a child. This person is a vital part of the settling in process. The child forms the bond with the key carer, but as he/she gets more familiar with the nursery, invariably forms bonds with other carers as well.

I don't have a problem with many carers. In fact, the more the merrier. More staff is drafted in at mealtimes because many of the little ones need help feeding.

This one-to-one business is a red herring. In a busy household with more than one child, each child does not get one-to-one attention from the SAHP anyway, as I have explained below.

In a pre-nuclear family days, children tended to live in extended households with many relatives and carers to turn to. In this slightly chaotic environment, the person nearest to the child picks it up if it starts to cry. And if that person cannot soothe, another takes over. That's what happens at nursery. Children can and do thrive with this kind of care. It is great for them to know that the world is a kind and cuddly place with many loving hands. And they still know who their mothers and fathers are.

But if you or a school doesn't teach him then who will? Do you expect your DIL/SIL to do all the ironing?

But nobody could be expected to teach a boy to iron because a future possible daughter in law might get cross.

Ok then why not teach him to do it so when he moves out of your house he won't always be wrinkly

PPB - do you really think knowing how to iron sheets is more useful than mathematics?

Message withdrawn

Paula - I am sort of joking.

But I wouldn't expect future DIL/SIL to do the ironing, mostly because it wouldn't be my household so who am I to care? In our household DH and I both hate it so we don't see it as a necessary skill . I do my own ironing if I have to... DH seems more than happy to not bother.

But, if DS does start complaining that his shirts are wrinkled (bearing in mind that he is 2) then I will show him what to do. But I won't be doing it for him!

As for changing nappies - we both learnt at the ante-natal classes. But it was more of an on-the-job skill.

In terms of other 'life skills' - cooking, cleaning etc I expect that both DH and I will teach the children (not just any girls!).

Message withdrawn

If your husband does all the ironing, wouldn't it be easier for him to teach the children how to do it?

Although if DS really wants to learn to iron, I am probably not the person to teach him. I am cr*p at it.

But I am good at baking cakes, mowing the lawn and DIY (I am an engineer). So-so at cooking (DH is better).

my daughter went to a day nusrsey and she had lots of fun learning lots of activities and most important part of being at nursery was her socialising which i feel is the most important thing to have when growing up. i also work in in a day nursery my self the ratio is 1-3 for the under 2s 1-4 for 2-3 year old and 1-8 for 3-5. and we have to plan all our activities making sure we cover all the areas of development. as for cm i have heard ans seen alot of them carring on with there own daily routine such as cleaning and shoping and the worst one ever was that one childminder had buildrers in foe over a fourtnight dust and electrical equipment everywere surly thats not a good enviroment for any young child

Lucyellensmum finding really good childcare is possible. Ds has a wonderful 'key worker' at his nursery whom he sees (he goes part time). There are only 6 children in the room , and 3 carers. Always the same ones. They do loads of messy play too, and ds has friends he remembers later (he's 2.5). He knows his carers name, and once she baby sat and he was very excited to see her.. Plus at a local chidren's party the two turned up and the children who are at their nursery loved it. Not sure if this is helping, but it can be a really lovely type extended community thing going on. (or village in a city, living in London as we do)

Nannies are fabulous too, as they cut out all the getting to the nursery/cm part and save time. Even better if you only have one child, do a nanny share with another mum in your area. Halves the cost and means your child will make a lovely friend the same age (not sure of the age of your dc).

This is all ime.

I think algerbra, geometry and trig are all important. All I am saying is that I iron sheets at least twice a week. I haven't used any of those mathmatics since I left school. All I am saying is that household skills should also be part of the curiculum

Message withdrawn

I, on the other hand, use mathematics most days (being an engineer).

I probably iron once every few months