Lack of gratitude for school fair donations

[RebeccaAnnie]

Yesterday I was really triggered. Am I being unreasonable, to be angry at a teachers’ comment to my son? Should I write a factual or scathing letter to this teacher? What does it achieve to challenge one of your kids’s teachers? Does it just set them up for even more verbal abuse?
So it was School Fair donations week. In order to have the privilege of not wearing school uniform on Monday, students could bring in donations or pay £2.50 on the day. In return for donations their name would be removed from a list showing that they donated items.
It rained all week, all week, lashed out of the heavens. Shoes didn’t even dry properly from the day before so they had damp feet all week. The kids have heavy rucksacks and although they get a lift most of the way they are not keen to carry heavy loads of extra stuff for the school fair. I disagreed with the £2.50 charge for not wearing a school uniform, I think, on principle this is excessive.
Parents are told not to park in the school car park under any circumstances (otherwise I could fill my boot with stuff for the school fair!)
I gave my boy, 4 books, 1 puzzle & 1 bottle of beer. Off he trotted into the line with his bag of stuff. His good friend had nothing with him to donate. My son gave his mate half of what he had. Then my son handed over his bottle to the very keen helpful student in charge of storing bottles. When my son got to the top of the queue to have his name crossed off the list, he had 2 small items left in his hand. His mate had 2 medium sized books.

The teacher shouted at my son “I HOPE YOU BROUGHT MORE THAN THAT SMALL AMOUNT”. My son was embarrassed and angry and shared this with me later in the day.
What springs to my mind is that Guardian advert with the skinhead and the building site.

This teacher didn’t see 1) that my son had already handed over the bottle donation 2) that he shared his donations with his friend. Also how does that teacher know what any child has available at home to bring in or whether they have £2.50 available to give….. how does that teacher know any individual childs’ circumstances?
Instead of a THANK YOU. He was barked out by a senior member of staff. Embarassed and humiliated to be singled out for “not giving enough”. He was doing 2 good things 1) donating 2) sharing.
This is a Christian school. Everything is about values, good Christian living. Yes this teacher is miserable and negative towards the youth under his command.
I have given it a lot of energy. The situation has annoyed me but is there really any point in taking this up with the teacher directly?

The teacher sounds unpleasant, but do you actually know what 'triggered' means? It doesn't mean really cross or upset...

Really bad behaviour from the school person, I would be shocked about this. But not sure if you should take matters further.

It always amazes me,when I read on here, about all the rules and regulations,and sometimes stupidity, that goes on in schools these days.

The passage about the widow’s mite springs to mind if you want biblical Support

I ground to a half at 'triggered', I'm afraid.

Age of your son?

If being dramatic is hereditary, I wouldn’t necessarily take everything he said as “factual” anyway.

half? Halfwit, more like.

Halt! I ground to a halt - oh, never mind

Wow

Even in DSs private school non uniform is the standard pound for charity dropped in a bucket as children come through door ( some give more) Fete / harvest festival donations get dumped in boxes in reception and neither are compulsory

I would be very unhappy with this. It really puts pressure on families who dont have much to spare

Sits very wrong with me OP

Unless you literally heard the teacher shouting “I HOPE YOU BROUGHT MORE THAN THAT SMALL AMOUNT”, I would take it with a pinch of salt.

Also, re it being a "christian school" with christian values, I've always found that those advertising their good christian values are often selfish unchristian hypocrites.

AWFUL AWFUL! Go see the Head OP, with your DS. That teacher owes your DS a proper apology. If the school is truely Christian I'm sure they'll concur that showing humility and remorse are Important values and that adults must lead by example.

Crikey. Our kids just dump them in school reception

“Lashed from the heavens” and “under his command” were particularly fun to read.

That is absolutely dreadful. Do write - to someone senior - set it out like you have on here and complain.

Our school is £1 as standard and I've sent in a box of biscuits before. Nothing said by the teacher and, to be honest, I wouldn't expect there to be. Have a quiet word with the headteacher explaining that you think it's wrong for a teacher to make any remark at all about the quantity and quality of something the child has no control over (it's the parents that send the stuff in after all). That your concern is that, whilst your DC did in fact come to school with 6 items, giving away half of it so others wouldn't be in trouble, other kids may not be in a position to afford so much and it's not up to a teacher to make a remark on anything other than the work they do in class or their behaviour in the school. Let them sort it out.

If that was shouted at your son then it is disgusting.

If it was donations or pay on the day then surely those who had donated had to be crossed off a list so that they weren't asked to also pay on the day?

Yes I enjoyed the "under his command" quotation too. very powerful.

OP I think you should contact OFSTED, organise demonstrations outside the school and do your level best to get this power crazed dictator SACKED. I also think that this DREADFUL MONSTER has somehow managed to make your ds's shoes DAMP and made him carry a HEAVY RUCKSACK around like a bleedin SLAVE.

He needs to show REMORSE like a proper CHRISTIAN. At the moment he sounds more like a PAGAN or DEVIL WORSHIPPER. GET THEE BEHIND ME HORRID TEACHER SATAN.

I ground to a half at 'triggered', I'm afraid.
Ditto

Well - the £2.50 is excessive, and i don't like the idea of ticking off lists and/or reprimanding the kids for what they bring in.

You could write in. If you do write a letter or an email for goodness sake keep it more concise and factual than your OP though or it will get the piss taken out of it or those 2 perfectly valid points might get lost and that would be a shame.

Teacher was completely out of line.

But YABVVVVVVVU with your use of 'triggered'.

The teacher is an arsehole, teachers with that attitude put me off being a teacher. My primary school was full of bitches like that. I'd be contacting the head teacher about her attitude, surely giving something is better than nothing.

SlothMama

I am fairly sure the only pronoun used in the OP (once) is HIS.

Disgusting of the teacher to pass comment. Really bizarre to have to queue up to hand over items.

Your priority should be your son though, not the school. It's a good lesson for him about doing the right thing even when it's not recognised by "authority" etc. I hope you have praised him for being so thoughtful to his friend and also for keeping his composure and not answering back despite being treated unfairly.

I think you should have a word with the teacher-
-after all, really his comments were directed at YOU for -as he saw it- providing goods less than the value of £2.50.

pepperpot99
Don't forget getting a parent WhatsApp group to hound the member of staff, and a campaign on facebook.

In fact, go to the local newspaper, get the sad compo face on and mention human rights, humiliation and how traumatic the experience was too.

It's a long time since my children were at school but I used to hate non-uniform day. It was agonising and time-consuming coming up with a set of clothes where they wouldn't get "dissed." (as they put it) and we always set out for school that day with terse words. I should think that it was stressful for teachers as well, having to intervene in any "dissing." £2.50 sounds alot. Rather than retelling the story, why not make a general suggestion to the head that other schools just have a holding area where they make donations of stuff and, perhaps, £1, in line with other schools, is more in order. That does not consume staff time collecting bric a brac and also saves embarrassment for families who have nothing to give or find £2.50 a bit steep. Like another poster, I had three children close together and that would have meant £7.50 each time. Point out that many parents make ongoing donations to a range of charities not connected with the school one, so it's not necessarily a sign of evasiveness or being mean.

I actually do hate the idea of non-uniform day for a set amount of money. Bottom line is, some families do not have £2.50, or £1, or any spare money at all. Schools should not be there as engines for raising money for charity, because so many of the children in schools should be receiving charity, not being asked for it. I don’t mind voluntary things like the Harvest Festival but anything where the consequence of not bringing in money is shaming for the child isn’t on in my opinion.