To ask if you are not scared of death - what is your reason?

[Vilanelle]

For me, I am petrified of the idea. I wouldn't say it consumes me but if I do think about it, a wave of panic goes through me.

Do you think it is like birth - you don't know about it?

I had a dream last night that I was in a car accident and it felt like I could feel the life drawing out of me.

I can't wrap my head around the thought of not having any thoughts and just being nothing.

I would like to become more at peace with the though of dying, after all no one is getting out of here alive!

Tell me about your thoughts on death?

I am very scared to die young and leave my children behind. I watched the impact of it when three of mine lost their dad. The thought of it happening to me as well was enough to give me awful HA and a lot of CBT. When they are all moved out and don't need me as much I hope that fear will go, but right now they need me too much.

I have seen people at the end of life and it has always been peaceful. I am not scared of actively dying, but I obviously don't like the idea of the potential lead up. I know of one person whose pain was uncontrollable until the very end but from my experiences everyone just seemed beautifully at peace in the last stages. Slipping in and out of consciousness then going.

The thought of an afterlife scares me more. I don't wish to come back or be around in some form for eternity.

I highly recommend the book 'With the End in Mind'

Recently my mum passed away..she was ready...I fear not making the most of life more...

It terrifies me. My main fear is how on earth I can leave my kids and DH behind. My eldest DD has ASD and it often keeps me awake at night worrying over what would happen to her if I wasn’t here

It scares me a lot. I used to be less worried when I had more of a Christian faith as a child/teenager. Now I'm agnostic (unsure of my belief) then I feel fairly terrified. I guess it's not that scary if we just go into 'Shut down' mode though, it's just very sad that our unique personalities; thoughts; memories etc. have to disappear like you say.

Im not scaredvof death because every living thong on the planet goes through it....life is transient. This universal human experience makes me feel not alone.
Also life is tough so why would i want it to go on forever..?.80/90 years is good for me...providing im in good health.
Plus i wasn't conscious before birth so lack of consciousness after death is the same.

I suppose i fear leaving my child and dp alone...that is it.

I always thought I wasn't scared of death so much as the process of dying, but actually I do find the idea of being dead scary. It's the ultimate FOMO - I hate the idea of the world carrying on without me and missing out on everything that continues to happen once I'm gone. Self-centred, absolutely, but it's a horrible thought.

It's the biggest adventure ever. That moment when we get to find out. Should we have been a born again Christian? Were those jehovas witnesses right? Will "knowledge immortal make a god of me?l
I'm excited to find out

I spent much of my life being terrified of death. This changed when I realised I was imagining being dead as being fully conscious with everything gone, ie no sight no sound no light, no touch, no people, just me all alone for eternity. When it occurred to me being dead means having no consciousness my fears vanished. Religious beliefs might be reassuring for some (not me) but they do rely on the idea we are not really dead at all.

The other thing which helped me was the death of my parents (I was fully grown up). I was devastated by the loss but completely understood that they were no longer in pain or discomfort.

I'm afraid of lots of things - the state of the world, leaving my children, but I'm no longer afraid of death. I could get anxious about the process of dying but I don't give it much thought as I think it's a bit like childbirth - there's no knowing how it will go and the best laid plans can easily come a cropper.

I have a chronic illness which if not carefully managed can become life threatening very quickly. I have reconciled myself to the fact that I am highly likely to die young (I don't expect to make my 60s quite honestly) and I am fine with that - as long as I can see my kids to adulthood.

Dying itself is not the problem, and if it is the illness that does it, it probably won't be painful, so I just try and concentrate on taking the pills and watching my general health, and if it happens, it happens. I am not scared by it.

I have never been scared of dying. My mum died a month ago and had a horrendously painful time of it and was only 57. She was never scared, just felt guilty for leaving us all.

It just seems like an awful waste of your life if you spend it worrying about death. 99.9% of everyone we are related to is dead. It seems pretty normal to me! We really are all so insignificant. Thinking like that makes it very easy for me.

I had a strange but rather comforting experience when I was a teenager.

I had had a very traumatic time of it and was feeling suicidal. I was lay in the bath really thinking about wanting to die and feeling tempted to do it. Suddenly, a male voice (neither came from outside of me or inside, was all around me) very calmly and gently and utterly certain said 'It's not your time yet.'

And the feeling of wanting to harm myself went instantly. I wonder if that gentle voice will come back when it really is my time to go? I hope so. I don't know who that voice is - other than someone/thing completely good. I am not really a theist (more likely pantheist/pagan), don't even know if I believe in an afterlife - but it felt like a brush with whatever god is, or maybe something angelic.

I know people have different beliefs - that's what makes the world interesting. I have worked with end of life nurses (real life angelic, and often a wicked sense of humour). They had little rituals like opening windows to 'let the soul out' after a person died, and sometimes told stories of where people near death have seen relatives they love (long passed away) sat at the end of the bed waiting to hold their hand into the next world.

Who knows? Sometimes wish I was a well loved cat. I don't think they contemplate death too much. Rather concentrating on finding a snug warm spot, or a few more cat biscuits.

Just another thought. When my gran was in hospital, near the end of her life, we sat together and she said to me 'I'm not scared, I'm ready to go home to god. Old ones have to go to make room for new ones you know.' She was genuinely at peace with her dying. That has helped me a lot. I hope I can be the same when my time comes (if I'm lucky and similar circs occur - i.e. just waiting and not in pain). Hope I can pass on that sense of peace to another person. It was really like her last gift to me. Thanks gran.

When you are dead you won’t be around to realise you are dead. That’s really the whole point I think. Once you/we are gone - that’s it. How Can you be frightened of nothingness ??
Obvs the act of dying may be difficult and those we leave behind etc. There’s a great podcast ‘stuff you should know’ which has a good episode on what happens at death.
Don’t worry about it. Just live life when you have it all

vasillisa that’s very humbling isn’t it? Recently have lost both my parents elderly. Saw so much bravery and honesty and truth in how they approached their own deaths. Whew !

It is Heron. Very humbling. I have a lot of respect for these elders who are brave and honest. The world is in need of it.

Honestly & selfishly - I think I’d welcome it for myself. An end to physical & mental pain. But the pain for my dh, dcs & parents siblings would I think be hard to bear. I don’t fear death but I fear the manner of my death. I’m unlikely to make it to old age anyway. Too many health issues. I wouldn’t want to live my or any life again.