Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you are not scared of death - what is your reason?

292 replies

Vilanelle · 14/06/2019 09:38

For me, I am petrified of the idea. I wouldn't say it consumes me but if I do think about it, a wave of panic goes through me.

Do you think it is like birth - you don't know about it?

I had a dream last night that I was in a car accident and it felt like I could feel the life drawing out of me.

I can't wrap my head around the thought of not having any thoughts and just being nothing.

I would like to become more at peace with the though of dying, after all no one is getting out of here alive!

Tell me about your thoughts on death?

OP posts:
ofred · 14/06/2019 23:08

I think I'm not afraid to die because I know it's going to happen. There is absolutely nothing I, or anyone else can do to stop it.
I've been very ill once and I thought that was it. I didn't panic, I was strangely relaxed.
I also have faith. Not necessarily the prescribed Christian / Catholic faith that I 'belong' to, but a faith that there is something or somewhere for us to move onto.
I've lost loved ones and I have this weird sense of knowing that they're with me and waiting for me.
I think this life on this earth is just an element of our journey.

Megs4x3 · 14/06/2019 23:12

Being dead doesn’t bother me at all. It’s an inevitability I can’t avoid.

The manner of my death concerns me at times. I’m lucky that I’ve never been seriously ill or broken anything, so I’m a bit afraid of the unknown. Given the choice I’d rather not die in pain or deal with dementia, so I’m quite prepared to make arrangements to deal with that if I get the chance. But death/being dead? Not an issue for me.

ssd · 14/06/2019 23:16

I'm no scared of death and I don't know why, I have health anxiety, but it's the worry of illness and the effects on my kids that kills me.
I don't think you really go, I seen a medium after mum died and she told me what happened in the room with just me and mum there as well as other things. It gave me comfort.

Spiritinabody2 · 14/06/2019 23:19

I am not afraid of death but don't want to suffer any pain during it.

Quantum physics has proved that energy cannot die. It can only change form. Everything is made up of atoms vibrating at different rates. We are currently 3 dimensional but, when my body dies, my spirit will live on forever, albeit in a different form to my body and maybe, for example, in the fourth vibrational dimension. This is a dimension which interpenetrates the one we are in at present yet cannot be seen by the naked eye. It is a world 'beyond the veil'.

When it is my time to pass, I look forward to meeting up again with my DF, DB, GPs etc.

"Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened".
(Excerpt by Henry Scott-Holland 1847 - 1818).

SimplySteveRedux · 14/06/2019 23:22

I think we have multiple lives. I can remember watching mother give birth to me as I was watching from above and being sucked into the body. I could, and still can, detail the operating theatre, number of staff, time and loads more. So I have to think, based on that, there's an "afterlife" and we have multiple "goes"!

Chillijamntuna · 14/06/2019 23:27

I just think I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Widowodiw · 14/06/2019 23:31

I do believe you know what’s happening and you choose when to go. Once my husband heard me say that my brother was going to help me with our kids he went strangely calm and passed not long after.

vasillisa · 14/06/2019 23:35

I sometimes think about it and get a feeling a bit like vertigo. The mind contemplating not being/not thinking. Death is part of life though. Guess we just have to remember to make the most of our time here, and try to leave things a little better for our being here. TBH I worry more about wasting my life than the dying bit. Yeah looking at you internet! Less screen, more reality. Like other posters I hope that I can see my little one grown up and happy before I pop my clogs.

What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night.
It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime.
It is the little shadow which runs across
the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

Attributed to Crowfoot

jaydaddy · 14/06/2019 23:39

Maybe I fear the process of dying, as in the pain I might experience, but as for death itself I'm of the opinion that I'll have no awareness of it what so ever - a bit like when you're asleep or before you were born. You just won't exist, so best not to worry about that.

foreverhanging · 14/06/2019 23:46

I can only imagine it's like a wonderful, restful sleep and I would honestly welcome it.

ragged · 14/06/2019 23:48

My mother about age 30 had sudden severe illness. When she went into operating theatre, surgeon said she might not wake up. She made peace with death there & then, often talked about the experience as life-changing.

The death she was still terrified of was from long drawn out painful cancer. She actually died of a heart attack which I think was the kind of death she could accept.

Littleoldmetime · 15/06/2019 00:02

Unfortunately the process of dying for many people is not pleasant. I’ve seen a lot of death in my time as a nurse and it’s not very nice for a lot of people. My ideal death would be to go for an operation, be put to sleep and die in the theatre. That is preferable to many other scenarios.

KindnessCrusader · 15/06/2019 00:20

I'm a Christian so I don't fear death, in fact I am very comforted about what will come next. Having a long terminal illness would be scary though.

Tavannach · 15/06/2019 00:32

Death is the only thing we can be sure of and that certainty makes it reassuring in an odd way. Everyone dies. Death doesn't scare me because I'll be dead. I hope that those who love me think of me with warmth.
I would hate to get dementia or some slow debilitating illness though.

Seren85 · 15/06/2019 00:57

Like many others, I'm not scared of being dead but of dying slowly and painfully. I am religious and belive in an after life of sorts, I'm just not sure what exactly. Who cares? If I'm wrong, I'm still dead. I more fear the death of my parents so maybe that's why I'm a bit less concerned about myself. Once you're the one left, it probably hits harder.

DifficultSituation19 · 15/06/2019 01:11

The actual death bit, not really. I nearly choked to death with no one around when I was 9, and as I fell on the floor and knew that was it, I went from blind panic to a euphoric, blissful feeling.

What I really can’t deal with is the thought of leaving my dc behind. Even if they are all grown up, I can’t bear the thought of not being there and being part of their lives, and them being upset that I’ve gone.

Jb291 · 15/06/2019 01:18

Not afraid in the least of dying. It's a natural progression from this plane of existence to whatever that next place is. On my darkest days where loss and grief are absolutely breaking my heart, the belief that those that I have lost are waiting for me in that next place is what sustains me. I have a mental image of what that next place looks like and sometimes I dream of my loved ones and beloved animals there. I usually wake with such a sense of peace after those dreams. Sometimes faith in what comes next is all that is carrying me forward.

julensaor · 15/06/2019 01:54

Maybe read the book the 'The Tibetan book of living and dying'; it is based in Buddhism; but religion aside; it is a book well worth reading for anyone afraid of death or anyone caring for someone near death.

Xxalisoncxx · 15/06/2019 02:06

As awful as this sounds. I was raped, left for dead then had a mental breakdown. I think to myself, dying can never be as bad as what I have to live with everyday. I know people have been through worse, I mean no offense to anyone

carla1983 · 15/06/2019 02:37

I'm not in the least bit afraid of death because I believe in the afterlife and have had mediumistic experiences which couldn't be explained any other way except that souls live on after death.

carla1983 · 15/06/2019 02:38

@Xxalisoncxx So sorry you went through that. Hope that they caught the monster who did that to you.

Laurajjj · 15/06/2019 02:49

It's an unknown and something you can't control. My dad always says don't worry about things you cannot control. I just like to think I won't die a gruesome painful death, that's all I wish for.

Dragonlight · 15/06/2019 03:14

Not afraid of death at all, more curious about the process, as with birth. But I am scared of pain and of leaving my children.

LividLaughLove · 15/06/2019 06:08

I had a ruptured ectopic last year, was bleeding internally and realistically minutes from death. Nobody knew what was happening but there were lots of very worried looking medics around.

I wasn’t scared. I was detached and accepting. I was abstractly sad I wouldn’t get to say goodbye, but in a curious way. I knew everybody else would be okay, just that I wouldn’t be there.

So, the “dying” part was okay, at the time.

The dealing with the later aftermath of crash surgery and blood transfusion and losing the baby, less so.

WhatisFreddoingnow · 15/06/2019 08:20

No fear of death as I have faith but fear of hurting the loved ones left behind. I fear the grief that comes with other people dying.

Instinctively, I look forward to death as it will be meeting again with God and my loved ones (Catholic and non-Catholic Wink) who have gone before me.

However, the world isn't a waiting room for death so I delight in the time that has been given to me to enjoy, learn and explore this world and myself.