Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Very large lady next to me at theatre

603 replies

redbedheadd · 13/06/2019 18:47

Went to theatre today and the lady next to me was so large I was left with no space at all. My legs were aching by the end as they were pushed together and I couldn't move at all. She kept repeatedly elbowing and jostling me without an apology.

AIBU to be irritated?

OP posts:
crazyasafox · 13/06/2019 21:36

@thighofrelief101

KILL THE TALLS

Poor Slenderman. Sad

pineapplebryanbrown · 13/06/2019 21:38

fox is that Robert Weddler (?) - poor chap, died aged 21. See?

MarieG10 · 13/06/2019 21:42

Not sure what the answer is. I was on he London train last week with reserved seats. A lady got on the train and said to the guy siting there "you're in my seat". He replied I've reserved this and she told him "you reserved one seat, not half of mine as well".

I get her point as basically he was so fat he was spilling miles into her seat but equally he couldn't do a lot short of going and standing in the door area. Having said that I think that's what she did as she stormed off and being a full train guess she had to stand up.

Rootytoothy · 13/06/2019 21:44

We were sitting behind a very very large lady during the cursed child which is a long time to sit through even at a regular size.
The poor woman had to stay standing up until the last minute and then literally squash herself into the chair. There was still a lot of overspill either side and I did feel for the people sitting next to her.
Not sure what the answer is. I guess to buy 2 seats or make sure you have the end one if you know you can’t comfortably fit in one.

Losttbh · 13/06/2019 21:46

All the large ladies will disagree with you.

crazyasafox · 13/06/2019 21:47

@thighofrelief101

No, the guy you are thinking of is the world's tallest man... ever..

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Wadlow#Later_years_and_death

I didn't know he died at 22! I always thought he was 40-ish when he died. Very sad.

'Slenderman' is a fictional supernatural character... Smile

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slender_Man

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/06/2019 21:48

It’s all very well saying to be considerate. I have chronic pain. It affects my entire body. Let’s support I were having a good day and went to the theatre. Had I sat next to the lady, I would have had to leave. I have weekly massages from a physio / massage therapist to keep me mobile. My choices would have been stay or face a couple of months of pain and very painful treatment to settle the inflamed muscles.

It’s not as simple as saying grin and bear it. Op may have pain lasting more than just the duration of the performance. Why does the woman’s obesity trump another person’s pain, the latter of which is never avoidable?

cardibach · 13/06/2019 21:51

Romant what do you mean by this: Nobody has to be fat, that was proved in the war ?

Peachsummer · 13/06/2019 21:52

If someone elbows me I elbow back. If they’re spilling into my seat I push them back. And I’d be very vocal about telling them to keep their arm/leg/etc in their own seat. I’ve paid a lot of money for that seat and I won’t let someone just take it off me.

BananaCatto · 13/06/2019 21:52

Aw poor you. How dare us fat people exist.

NinjaInFluffyPJs · 13/06/2019 22:00

All the large ladies will disagree with you.

Not true. I and number of others agree that OP is not unreasonable being annoyed.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 13/06/2019 22:01

OP, id leave thread, its pointless, if someone invades someones personal space for any other reason to the point your physically uncomfortable the vast majority would agree thaat you weren't unreasonable... however if a overweight person does somehow you are massively UR and are fat shaming...

pathetic!

ProjectGainsborough · 13/06/2019 22:01

I think our wrath is pointed in the wrong direction. Why don’t the seats accommodate non average sized humans? We should burn them in protest.

nannytothequeen · 13/06/2019 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LolaSmiles · 13/06/2019 22:05

Aw poor you. How dare us fat people exist
Except the OP hasn't said anything of the sort Hmm

She's pointing out her irritation at not being able to sit in a seat she's paid for because someone else was filling part of her seat. That's not an unreasonable thing to be a bit annoyed by.
We wouldn't say it's fine for a toddler to squeeze next to someone and be half in the next person's seat. We wouldn't say it's fine to use part of the next person's seat to store your bag. We wouldn't say it's fine for a toddler to kick the back of a seat on a flight. We wouldn't say it's fine for men to manspread so their legs were in the space of the person next to them.

Wanting to sit comfortably in the seat you've paid for is not unreasonable.

Justsaynonow · 13/06/2019 22:05

YANBU. You paid for your seat area, whether in a theatre or on a plane. Someone else should not be in it.

I too have chronic pain and need to shift position frequently. I'm small so don't move outside of my seat space while shifting. I rarely go to theatres because I get too uncomfortable to focus.I get an aisle seat on plane to allow for more movement.

On a recent 10 hr flight, a very pleasant larger lady was seated in the middle beside me. I let her use the arm rest and kept leaned toward the aisle to give her more room. An awkward posture that increased my discomfort - but it was either that or be arm to arm and leg to leg. I don't like being touched by strangers, especially prolonged, hot contact. When I came back from the washroom, she'd raised the armrest and spent the rest of the flight taking more than a third of my seat, with her thigh cozied up to mine whenever I sat. I spent quite a few hours standing in the galley. Guess I should have said something but didn't want to offend her. What should I have said? Would "Please lower the armrest and sit in your own seat" be offensive?

pineapplebryanbrown · 13/06/2019 22:05

Project I think people should super glue inflatable chairs (of the correct size) to themselves and have chair fights.

NinjaInFluffyPJs · 13/06/2019 22:06

Yeah let's go for fatty seats. And give the fatties a badge with a big F on so we know who they are. It's needs to be something visible. Perhaps a yellow star. Hey, wait ... 🙄

Did you really just use yellow star in discussion about this? How fucking disrespectfulHmm

ProjectGainsborough · 13/06/2019 22:08

How about all seats accommodate non average sized humans? That way we can avoid getting all final solution about this.

Kennehora · 13/06/2019 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nannytothequeen · 13/06/2019 22:15

Ninjain. This is where intolerance begins. Not being able to deal with difference. And intolerance can lead to the worst kinds of living hell, with the Holocaust at the pinnacle. If you want something more contemporary, look at the Lhotshampas. I work with some of these people and it all started with a bit of grumbling about the language they chose to speak at home and their choice of worship.

QuickQuestion2019 · 13/06/2019 22:19

What's with all the 'she can't help it' nonsense on this thread? Very, very few ppl cannot lose weight.

It's her choice. She's allowed the choice. She's not allowed OP's seat!!!

@redbedheadd I was stuck between two fat men, man spreading on the train last week. They could have gone on diets or tucked their knees together but instead they choose to infringe my space.

Be whatever size you want but taking up others space is not ok.

MereDintofPandiculation · 13/06/2019 22:20

I'm small and slim.When a larger person sits next to me, not only are they spilling on to my seat sideways, they also stick out forwards a lot more than me, so I end up buried behind them. It's uncomfortable and claustrophobic.

LolaSmiles · 13/06/2019 22:23

Those of you making fucking Holocaust references should be so fucking ashamed of yourselves. How disgusting

I agree.

I wonder if they'll be all over the summer holiday flight threads as well.

E.g. AIBU to think that parents should keep their toddler and associated toys etc on their seat and in their area? I'm feeling a bit annoyed that all flight I had a toddler squashed between their parent and me, playing with the arm rest. Toys everywhere. I couldn't sit comfortably due to my space being taken up by their additional toys and snacks. I just wanted to sit comfortably.

Reply: talk about toddler shaming. It's not their fault they are a bit more energetic. Maybe we should ban all toddlers and families from flights in case you are inconvenienced. Maybe get them a nice big star so we know not to let them on the plane or anywhere that might bother you. This is how intolerance starts OP

Whosorrynow · 13/06/2019 22:24

I would complain to the owners of the premises, it is down to them to provide suitable seating for the clientele

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.