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Original poster

Lazy SIL am I being unreasonable?

83 replies

Bozlem80 · 13/06/2019 11:06

I just want to know if I’m being unreasonable? I work in our little family business & I’m getting rather pissed off with my SIL! I do a lot of heavy lifting & picking orders but she swans in & sits down on her arse at the computer doing not a lot! She doesn’t even bother asking if anything needs to be done, yesterday after putting stock away my DH asked me if I was going to make us all a coffee he was serious too! I saw red & told him to fuck off & ask his precious sister instead, he would rather upset me than his sister, so I’m in today & yet again lifting & carrying whilst she sits on her backside claiming to be soooo busy. I’m in a t-shirt & she is sat there in big coat & the heater on! I’ve already told my DH I hate working there but he takes very little notice of me in general!

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 13/06/2019 11:08

Get another job.

AnneLovesGilbert · 13/06/2019 11:08

And consider a new husband.

LadyRannaldini · 13/06/2019 11:10

You're letting her get away with doing nothing, give her a job to do, Put those away please. If that doesn't work find another job, let them sort out their little business.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 13/06/2019 11:11

Definitely find a new job. Then you won't have to spend time with her.

However, if someone spoke rudely to me in front of DH and DH didn't challenge it, I'd also be on the lookout for a divorce because you're supposed to be a unit and you don't sound like one.

minisoksmakehardwork · 13/06/2019 11:11

Do you need to work in the family business or would it be better if you quit altogether and found another job?

As a teenager I worked for my parents for an absolute pittance, but with jobs over and above the duties and hours a 13/14/5 year old should be working. My sister and I would be sacked on a regular basis for issues at home and then on the Saturday when we didn't arrive on time for our shift, because we would have been sacked the day before and told not to bother going in, there would be a phone call demanding to know where we were.

In the end I turned 16 and applied for a job elsewhere. It was a bitch for my sister who then got the brunt of it until she turned 16 and did the same. Whilst it wasn't popular with our father as it meant he then had to do the work, it was a lot better for us.

Sicario · 13/06/2019 11:11

Tender your resignation immediately and go get a job that you actually like.

minisoksmakehardwork · 13/06/2019 11:12

A new job might also remove some of the work/home issues which are spilling over into the other environment. Your dh may be between the rock and the hard place of the work and both you and his family, but if you remove yourself from that equation you will be able to see if its work which is causing the issues or your husband,

MyOpinionIsValid · 13/06/2019 11:15

Op - I work in our little family business - your business? or your In laws business?

I’ve already told my DH I hate working there get a job then!

katewhinesalot · 13/06/2019 11:16

This is a dh problem. You need to talk to him and agree a way going forward that is fair to all three of you. Then he needs to help you put it into practice. If he can't or won't back you on this then you need to consider the longevity of your relationship.

AryaStarkWolf · 13/06/2019 11:16

What Annielovesgilbert said. Your DH is a bigger problem than you SIL

lyralalala · 13/06/2019 11:16

Surely she’s only being lazy if lifting and carrying is part of her job? If her job is computer and phone based and yours is lifting and carrying then she’s not at all.

Sounds like you be better getting a job elsewhere though

lyralalala · 13/06/2019 11:17

Your DH and his tea demands are bigger issues than your SIL

MyOpinionIsValid · 13/06/2019 11:19

And unless you line manage her, it really is NOYB what she does.

Who owns the business?

Thehop · 13/06/2019 11:19

Why can’t you get another job?

And ditch your husband

Ghostontoast · 13/06/2019 11:20

If it is your DH’s family business then I would get a new job.

Original poster
Bozlem80 · 13/06/2019 11:20

It’s my DH & BIL business, me & SIL work there too, I just feel I’m the skivvy in the whole thing. The stuff I do is so basic I would love to learn more in the office but she is forever hogging the chair.

OP posts:
Settlersofcatan · 13/06/2019 11:21

It's telling that it didn't occur to you that your DH could make the coffees. It doesn't have to be a competition between which woman does the shit work

Witchend · 13/06/2019 11:22

If her job is on the computer and yours is lifting, then how do you know she doesn't do anything.
I'm on the computer at work and this is the first break I've had away from it since 8.30. I'll then be back on until I finish.

Passthecherrycoke · 13/06/2019 11:23

You should quit and get another job. This won’t get better !

ReadMyLipss · 13/06/2019 11:26

It's telling that it didn't occur to you that your DH could make the coffees. It doesn't have to be a competition between which woman does the shit work

That's exactly what I thought. The OP should have told him to make it himself.

You have a problem with your SIL and husband.

AryaStarkWolf · 13/06/2019 11:26

The stuff I do is so basic I would love to learn more in the office but she is forever hogging the chair

Who worked there first, you or her?

AryaStarkWolf · 13/06/2019 11:27

It's telling that it didn't occur to you that your DH could make the coffees. It doesn't have to be a competition between which woman does the shit work

Amen to that. Men have really done a good number on us, making us squabble amongst ourselves instead of targeting them

Original poster
Bozlem80 · 13/06/2019 11:27

She is the only one who doesn’t do any heavy lifting out of us all, when things need to be done, when the computer is used by my DH or BIL she stands right behind them waiting to sit down again, she doesn’t come & help me in anyway! Like I say I feel I’m the skivvy in the whole thing, she isn’t office manager/admin or anything like that. It’s a family business & we are all meant to work together!

OP posts:
TwattingDog · 13/06/2019 11:28

It doesn't sound like either of you have proper roles, agreed hours or duties. Maybe start there.

AryaStarkWolf · 13/06/2019 11:30

@Bozlem80 honestly, you would be much better off quitting and getting a job of your own. Sounds like a terrible work environment for you and then you have to go home pissed off to your DH who was probably one of the ones who was causing you to be pissed off

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