AIBU to say that if you work in child protection you shouldn't post pictures of yourself wanking at work in fetish gear?

[ArcheryAnnie]

People do all kinds of things in their private life, and - as long as it's all consensual, and involving adults, in private - that's absolutely fine with me. Even if it involves fetish stuff that I find deeply unsexy. It's your private time and your business.

But if you bring your fetish into work, that's really inappropriate. Involving other people in your kink without their consent is not OK.

If you bring your fetish into work and take time to entertain yourself in the loos with it, that's way, way beyond really inappropriate.

If you work in child protection campaigning, and bring your fetish into work, and take time to entertain yourself in the loos with it, and take a photo of yourself while doing it, and upload that photo onto the internet, then you probably need to consider whether a career in child protection is really for you.

(And if you are doing this while working on campaigns about abused and neglected children, you should not be surprised when people ask what made you so aroused.)

And dear NSPCC - who I used to have a direct debit to, and who used to be in my will - people objecting to this are not being homophobic or "bullying". Many of who are objecting to your staff member's actions are ourselves gay. We just seem to have a better grasp of safeguarding than you do.

These often include having sex in the workplace - working late, sneaking into the storecupboard, shagging on the boardroom table if the office party is held in the office rather than at a pub...

And if these people filmed themselves and linked the video to their social media and made a point of explaining that they were shagging on the workplace they would be sacked for gross misconduct.

I would say it’s homophonic to consider this homophobic isn’t it?

From this thread, this morning, I've learned this weirdo is gay. I hadn't assumed either way, but on the balance of probability I would have probably plumped for straight.

I'm not a homophobe. I don't care that he's gay, that's irrelevant. He's a disgusting little weirdo because he got a kick out of doing this in the workplace. I don't care if people do this at home, it's not my bag but whatever makes you happy etc, fill yer boots.

This was planned - and I wonder how many times he's done this before filming it and making it public. I very much doubt this is a one off.

More worrying still that this is someone working for a children's charity and yes, what was it in the workplace that turned him on?

Also, I though the NSPCC statement did mention Munroe's online encouragement of private interaction with vulnerable young people, and other online behaviour? They were right to ditch her, but they could also have educated her and worked with her in a public campaign illustrating why all the 'DM me hun' posts were wrong. Incredibly badly handled.

Wearing fetish gear under your clothes at work and gaining arousal from this is involving non consenting people in your kink against their knowledge and will.

This is a huge violation.

I say this as someone who is part of the BDSM scene. Most people I know (and everyone I would consider a friend) would say this is unacceptable. Consent is key and involving other people in you kink without their consent is totally immoral and wrong.

Well said, Magenta82.

This was planned - and I wonder how many times he's done this before filming it and making it public. I very much doubt this is a one off.

Fromage I've seen screenshots (wish I hadn't) of him posting wanking videos from hotels when he's on a work trip, too - and he's made it very clear that he's there for work.

And none of this is doxxing! It's HIM posting it himself, with helpful explanations of exactly where he's doing it and how it's connected to his work for a children's charity. This is what really blows my mind.

Yes well said magenta

As an employer i have a duty to stop this happening. If you are weating rubber under your clothes and getting a kick from noone knowing then you are involving other employees in your sex act which is morally wrong, against company policy and possibly illegal. Certainly someone could open a tribunal if they heard about this and felt that the employer hadn't done enough to stop this happening again.

it smacks a bit of moral panic to class this as a safeguarding issue when there doesn’t appear to be any evidence that the safety of children is implicated in any way.

The organisation’s safeguarding and vetting and due diligence is clearly under question.

Has he been sacked?

It is a safeguarding issue as it impacts other employees.

YANBU OP Just keep your sexual activities out of work.

At the moment he strikes me as grubby and horrible; but as he doesn't have any access to children, I couldn't really call it a safeguarding risk

1. Everyone working in for a children's charity should have an understanding of safeguarding, in the case of the NSPCC it's their raison d'etre.
2. As celebrity and talent manager he should be capable of answering questions on reputation management AND demonstrably leading in this area.
3. As celebrity and talent manager he should understand the connectivity of social media.
4. As an NSPCC employee he will be involved in fundraising/celebratory events where children are present.

I'd get disciplined at my work if I was caught posting a status on Facebook when I was on company time, regardless of whether the matter was anything controversial.
Take away the whole gay/fetish/working with kids part of this story, he was wasting company time and filming himself doing it and by posting it on the web he got caught.
He's just been paid to wank at work.
He's just been paid wages donated by the public to a charity to wank at work.
That alone for me is reason enough for him to get disciplined.

"The problem isn't him wearing these clothes, it's his decision to take photos of himself, showing his cock, and linking it to his workplace"

Yes, I've already said uploading it is where I see the crossing of the line.

What I'm not seeing is that he presents any increased risk to children which was implied earlier in thread. Or that his wearing fetish gear to work under his clothes is somehow especially 'perverted'. Nor do I think he represents especial man privilege unless you're saying you know for sure that women aren't wearing bondage gear under their clothes, or masturbating in the toilets, or just having sex with their colleagues in the stock room.

Cause I'm pretty sure they are, possibly in lower numbers but the difference between them and this guy is that they aren't stupid enough to upload footage of themselves doing it.

Properly gobsmacked! In what universe is that behaviour acceptable in the workplace?

I'd be very surprised if large charities don't have clauses in employment contracts about bringing the charity into disrepute and being able to discipline or instantly dismiss people for it.

In one of their statements on Twitter the NSPCC said that protecting their staff was 'a priority'. Surely that's arse-backwards?

I feel like in any job this behaviour isn't appropriate, your personal (and sex life) should stay at home. You shouldn't be bringing your fetish equipment to work, or be pleasuring yourself at work!

I'm sure hes not the first person to have a wank at work, but filming yourself, uploading it to the internet and making sure everyone knows it's taking place at a children's charity is a new low.

No one cares what his sexual orientation is. You can't do something inappropriate and then cry that it's homophobic or likewise. It's still plain wrong.

Just seen this pitch-perfect take on twitter:

What these edgier-than-thou types don’t realise is that expecting applause for what renders other people unemployable is an extreme form of privilege, and complete blindness to the hoop-jumping we have to do to keep food on the table.

I think it's homophobic to describe that sort of behaviour as coming under the remit of being homosexual.
Loads of straight pervs do that sort of thing anyway.
He's got some major character flaws and has brought the charity, homosexuality, fetish and even wanking into disrepute IMO.
OP you not U!

ReanimatedSGB

Just no. Basically you are saying, "all normal workplace activity, move along, nothing to see here..." I smell a whiff of gaslighting. Because wanking at work in a fetish suit, videoing it and posting it online is so many levels of wrong that I do not know where to begin. And the people who do see that there is something wrong with this are being accused of kink shaming. Just no.

sackrifice Thu 13-Jun-19 08:14:16

A point to note that the NSPCC isn't just a charity - it is a statutory body that has powers to take kids out of the family if they deem it necessary.

Sorry but you're wrong about this.

OK, yes, the NSPCC is what is called an "authorised person" that can act in the same way as a Local Authority (LA).

It does NOT mean that they can "take kids out of the family". What it does mean is that they can go to court and ask the court to make a care order just like an LA can.

They are subject to making the same case and passing the same thresholds as an LA.

According to CAFCASS there were 13,500 care order applications made in 2017/18 and, according to the government, around 10,000 children were made the subject of care orders.

These figures all refer to care orders being made as a result of LA applications. I am not aware of any information about the NSPCC instigating any care applications.

I may be wrong but I would suggest that the NSPCC only commence a negligible number of applications, if any at all.

I would be interested in hearing if it is otherwise than that.

I don’t think it’s about whether he’s a safeguarding risk, but about whether an employee publicising that he engages in this kind of conduct within the workplace is in keeping with the aims and functions of such an organisation. And people shouting “homophobia” are clearly hard of thinking. Unless they’re saying that people believe a straight guy doing this would be fine?

I'm pretty sure I'd sack someone for making and uploading pornography on work time.

Cannot believe this is even a discussion tbh.

Sex has always happened in offices.

Videoing it and uploading it in a way that connects it directly to the workplace would be a repetitional issue whatever sort of sex it was. And even more for an organisation that really needs to be perceived as squeaky clean.