AIBU to say that if you work in child protection you shouldn't post pictures of yourself wanking at work in fetish gear?

[ArcheryAnnie]

People do all kinds of things in their private life, and - as long as it's all consensual, and involving adults, in private - that's absolutely fine with me. Even if it involves fetish stuff that I find deeply unsexy. It's your private time and your business.

But if you bring your fetish into work, that's really inappropriate. Involving other people in your kink without their consent is not OK.

If you bring your fetish into work and take time to entertain yourself in the loos with it, that's way, way beyond really inappropriate.

If you work in child protection campaigning, and bring your fetish into work, and take time to entertain yourself in the loos with it, and take a photo of yourself while doing it, and upload that photo onto the internet, then you probably need to consider whether a career in child protection is really for you.

(And if you are doing this while working on campaigns about abused and neglected children, you should not be surprised when people ask what made you so aroused.)

And dear NSPCC - who I used to have a direct debit to, and who used to be in my will - people objecting to this are not being homophobic or "bullying". Many of who are objecting to your staff member's actions are ourselves gay. We just seem to have a better grasp of safeguarding than you do.

I care that this individual is a) involving other people in his sex life by wanking in a toilet accessible to others, b) wanking on work time when his salary is paid for by public donations, c) is oblivious to the child safeguarding concerns raised by his activities and d) is bringing his employer into disrepute because of all of the above.

And perhaps now you might be able to see why women and girls do not want men in their safe spaces.

As he has been involved in this ‘scene’ from a young age, I suspect his understanding of child safeguarding and appropriate boundaries is lacking. It’s his own blind spot.

I wonder what the recruitment process is like for that sort of position at the NSPCC? I know that it's not a front facing position, there is no direct contact, but isn't there vetting to ensure that candidates have suitable safeguarding knowledge? Precisely to avoid them getting cosy with people like Munroe Bergdorf, who, let's say it again, encouraged minors to privately message them.

If a heterosexual women took a dildo in her bag to knock one out in the loo at work, filmed herself and uploaded it onto publicly accessible websites and then linked that website through her linkdIn page - do we honestly think she’d still be in a job, regardless of her profession?

That’s without the added layer of kink and that they work for a child safeguarding charity.

Men’s inalienable rights to orgasm are become increasingly enshrined into public consciousness and that never bodes well for children, even if this particular individual is no direct threat to children.

^I just remember reading on here years ago, an example from someone in a BDSM group, who said that a man in their group would never go down to Tesco and buy yogurt and cucumber for the purposes of sexual shenanigans, as it would be involving the sales assistant in his kink without her consent. That such behaviour fell below the ethical standards expected in her BDSM group.

I remember being quite impressed by that.^

I hate to tell you this but your informant was taking the piss out of you. NO ONE is that ridiculously precious.

All Bergdorf needed was some proper training as to why that was inappropriate. It's a general problem when you get celebrities to be 'ambassadors' for a charity: they quite often say and do stuff which is well-intentioned but stupid.

I wonder what the recruitment process is like for that sort of position at the NSPCC? I know that it's not a front facing position, there is no direct contact, but isn't there vetting to ensure that candidates have suitable safeguarding knowledge?

There will be a big difference in how members of the marketing team are recruited than frontline staff.
NSPCC (like Stonewall etc) are big brands.

“All Bergdorf needed was some proper training as to why that was inappropriate”

The fact that she doesn’t have a problem with little boys dancing for money in gay clubs isn’t any sort of red flag for a NSPCC ambassador in your eyes than?

All Bergdorf needed was some proper training as to why that was inappropriate. It's a general problem when you get celebrities to be 'ambassadors' for a charity: they quite often say and do stuff which is well-intentioned but stupid.

I disagree. Apart from anything else, it looks terrible to have someone on board who is so obviously clueless about safeguarding that they would encourage kids to DM them in a 'big sister' capacity. I don't think it's something you can 'train' someone on afterwards, when the whole point of celeb ambassadors is that they are passionate about the cause. Its too directly specific a 'gaffe' to make.

And yes, that's without Munroe publicly describing what 11 year Desmond is Amazing does in adult nightclubs as 'totally normal'.

And perhaps now you might be able to see why women and girls do not want men in their safe spaces.

Not sure what you're driving at @sackrifice?

Not sure what you're driving at @sackrifice?

Really?

Anyone else get this ad on their phone. It’s a bit... hmmm... ‘rubbery’?

The fact that she doesn’t have a problem with little boys dancing for money in gay clubs isn’t any sort of red flag for a NSPCC ambassador in your eyes than?

Dr Julia Long asked a Safeguarding question & was pilloried.

OP happydappy2 wrote "Julia Long was asked to leave the venue, after asking MB if it was normal that an 11yr old child dancing in front of adults, has money thrown at them by grown men. This was at Transmission & was deemed an offensive question...."

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jd4UCemsC6s&feature=youtu.be&app=desktop

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3512177-Julia-Long-asking-Munro-Bergdorf-about-child-exploitation

The question was in response to Munroe Bergdorf's Dazed article :
(extract)
"Desmond is Amazing is a game changer, a force of nature and, I would argue, the future. Unapologetically himself, ten-year-old Desmond’s success as a drag star serves as a reminder that kids are never too young to be who they want to be, and it’s never too early for us to listen to them. But this success has not come without its hurdles – namely in the form of closed-minded internet trolls and misleading clickbait headlines.

As he prepares to walk in NYFW, and to launch his Haus of Amazing website (where LGBTQIA+ kids and their parents will have a space to connect), I caught up with tiny trailblazer Desmond and his mum, Wendy. We spoke about drag inspo, staying positive in the face of prejudice, and how we can all support LGBTQ or gender-nonconforming kids on their own amazing journeys." (continues)

www.dazeddigital.com/life-culture/article/43329/1/munroe-bergdorf-desmond-is-amazing-drag-kid-interview

Owen Jones
Guardian columnist

link twitter.com/OwenJones84/status/1139204714850131971

Yes, Outofinspirstion that's why I asked.

Owen Jones
Guardian columnist

Tosser

So a primary school aged child who dances for money in adult nightclubs, dresses in drag (highly sexualised gendered stereotypes usually of women) and has his photo taken with naked adult males, has the total support and backing of MB. Totally normal in their world.

Interesting that Desmond doesn’t think this is worrrying and isn’t frightened. So the new revised version of NSPCC definition of sexual abuse doesn’t apply to Desmond. He’s just part of the kiddy rainbow (although weirdly surrounded by only adults, most of which consist of fawning males).

For all your information, if you have the stomach, you are free to check out the available images of Desmond is Amazing on google.

I’ve seen several, they all look to me like highly sexualised images of a child, dolled up to gratify an adult audience.

They include images of Desmond aged about 9 posing in fishnet stockings and a full face of makeup with a naked man posing alongside him.

This is child sexual exploitation and Munroe sees nothing wrong with it.

I hate to tell you this but your informant was taking the piss out of you. NO ONE is that ridiculously precious

So you hang out in BDSM circles and can verify that, can you SGB?

“So you hang out in BDSM circles and can verify that, can you SGB?”

SGB has specialised knowledge in this area.

Art of the myopis cones from the fact that sexualising small children and getting them to perform for adult audiences has a long, proud history in the USA. Google beauty pagents. What makes Desmond unusual is that he's male.

Wtf?

Part of the myopia

Oh it's that SGB! I remember now!

What does the NSPCC say about Desmond?

I wonder what the recruitment process is like for that sort of position at the NSPCC? I know that it's not a front facing position, there is no direct contact, but isn't there vetting to ensure that candidates have suitable safeguarding knowledge?

I would expect the NSPCC, like the NHS to make safeguarding/child protection training mandatory for all staff. In the NHS there are different levels of training, but the message is quite clear. All staff have a responsibility, anyone might see or hear something untoward, perhaps relating to children brought in with visitors rather than actual patients.