What not to do at a wedding

[Irishdays]

Getting married later on in 2019 and fairly typically want to avoid any faux pas.....but with the best will in the world you can't control everything :)
What has been the most ridiculous/outrageous/funny thing to have happened during a wedding? (your own or others)

A friend (the bride) got married about 5 years ago. I went to the wedding with 2 other friends of the bride. We all worked together. Towards the end of the wedding my friends now mother in law came over to us very drunk. She didn't realise we were friends of the bride and exclaimed very clearly to us how my friend is totally wrong for her son and she wishes this day never happened! My other friends and I just stood there in shock
Same wedding - the groom's brother swung a couple of punches at the waiting staff after being refused more alcohol - he ended up getting chucked out of his own brothers wedding by the venue
Needless to say this marriage ended in divorce 14 months later

I went to a gay wedding at the start of the year. It was in a school's chapel followed by the wedding breakfast in the ajoining school hall. A 7 year old relative of one of the groom's family waited until possibly the quietest moment in the chapel before saying in a very loud voice ''are gays allowed to get married in church? Mum you said the wedding isn't going to be a normal wedding cos its two men getting married'' - said mum (sat next too child) very quickly turned beetroot red

If anything goes wrong at my wedding I really hope we can laugh about it but who knows

Please tell me your stories

No examples youahave given are in the control of the wedding party. Kids will be kids, and drunks throw punches.

Mind you, your OP reads like a fishing trip for a magazine article.

Exactly @myopnion - that's why I said if anything goes wrong I hope we can laugh about it
Fishing for a magazine article :) Good to know that I could be a bad dm journalist if I wanted to be - thank you

Two I remember:
bride had been on a very strict diet involving no booze, was hammered at wedding and has a massive row with a family member and had to go outside to throw up.

Bride's step-brother announced own engagement during the speeches

To avoid possible scowling face in your photos make sure the invites are very specific.
My 'friend' turned up (invited) with her 2 dc (uninvited), with 1 showing up at the side of every photo like Where's BLOODY Wally in a fuchsia dress!

@Walkamile - The wedding invites went out just yesterday - I think I could honestly write a whole other thread about that - I didn't know a family wedding could be quite so....political

My aunt insisted on an invite, even though it was a small affair and I don't really get on with her. Fair enough though.
She then tried to play my parents and me off against each other in order to sit at the top table, which thankfully we all saw through. Kept going on about how she'd be on her own (despite her husband being with her?) and then kept angling for an invite for her adult kids and their families, none of whom I've ever met, and would have been an extra 11 people...
She also tried to emotionally blackmail my DF into paying for a hotel for her, then turned up at my uncle's unannounced the day before the wedding bff, planning to stay there. He told her to sling her hook as he'd already got a house full.

She also wound up my DM by expressing faux concern that we didn't speak on the phone every day, like she did with her DD. Lots of passive-aggressive, 'oh it must be terrible to not have a close relationship' and 'oh I couldn't stand it if DD stopped me being part of her wedding'. All complete bollocks, DM and I are very close, we just don't feel the need to speak every single day. And she helped a lot with the wedding planning, but made it clear that it was mine and DH's day and she wanted to help but not interfere.

She also made a big fuss about making sure that the venue was accessible as she'd probably need her wheelchair which she doesn't need, but is just for sympathy . I assured her countless times it was. Then on the day, she comes in her wheelchair and then in the evening she gets up and spent the whole time dancing vigorously around the dancefloor.

....and breathe!

Basically, so much of the lead up to our wedding was spent on trying to sort out the various dramas with my aunt. Looking back, I wish I'd just told her there wasn't room for her to come, would've saved everyone a load of trouble!
My advice: don't invite anyone out of "necessity", only those who you actually want there.

@Jammy - My CF alarm bells are ringing loud and clear with your aunt!
My fiance's cousin's wife (i.e so not close family) has asked me where will they be staying during our wedding weekend then looked at me expectantly - I told her very clearly that as it is a very touristy type of city we are getting married in there is a multitude of hotels you can choose to stay in

@jammygem - your aunt sounds like a right pain but it's quite possible for someone to need a wheelchair to conserve energy so that they can occasionally push the boat out and strut their stuff on the dance floor!

Disabled people could really do without the huge number of people thinking they've 'caught you out' because you manage to stand or go up steps or dance occasionally but need step-free access just in case.

Back on topic, figure out who might get embarrassingly/violently drunk and get some of your guests to discreetly chaperone them, if you can't just not have them.

Went to a wedding in a Catholic church then reception in a hotel. I went to a side lobby with a sofa to feed my baby and then had the groom's brother shoved in because he was trying to punch the groom. Apparently a church wedding was tactless because brother is gay. Had four lads trying to keep him off the groom while I held up cushions in case any of them landed on us!

@Irishdays CF is spot on!! We got married in Central London, so plenty of hotels. We also organised a couple of minibuses for people in mine and DH's hometowns, so if a hotel was too expensive (understandable, being central London) she could've easily joined those!

I used to work at a wedding venue so I've seen it all - drunk grooms telling their new bride to "cheer up you miserable bitch", grooms and their families leaving top gp tip the pub before the meal, leaving the poor bride to eat alone, as none of her family were there (us staff sat and ate with her, and also gave her a lot of resources for help as it was clearly an abusive relationship).
I've had people set alight the table centerpieces and then chuck them straight at me in a panic. Several times. Several different weddings. Side note: if you have candles on your tables, make sure the centerpieces are not made of paper or something equally flammable. Alcohol turns normally sensible people into pyromaniac idiots.

Also, the amount of women who take off their heels to go on the dancefloor despite others having dropped glasses is insane. We would ask them to put their shoes back on, as although we cleared up as much as we could see, on the dark light of the disco we might have missed some. 9 times out of 10, those women who had insisted they'd be fine, would be coming to us with bleeding feet asking for a plaster...

Also, a tip if you have a free bar but don't want people to take the piss - tell the venue that shots aren't to be covered in the tab. We often had people try to drink as much as possible and order triples quadruples etc. Legally we can't serve a triple, but we can serve a double and extra shots for people to pour in the glass themselves. If shots aren't included in the tab then people can't get away with it.

@jackparlabane Believe me, I know that. But she doesnt actually need the wheelchair. Even her husband gets pissed off and rolls his eyes when she starts going on about it. She had to buy it herself because the NHS wouldn't provide one, on account of there's nothing physically wrong with her.

Oh and yes - my friend has made numerous hints that she needs, yes needs a plus one - I would happily oblige if she had a partner for even 3 or 4 months but she is enjoying herself on tinder and has been ''dating'' 8 different guys in the space of 2 months - absolutely fine that she does - her choice etc etc but I don't want a random in our wedding photos who she will more than likely move on from 2 weeks after the wedding

Have physical relations with the groom.

Unless you're the bride .

Went to one wedding at a posh venue and the bride's mother decided to invite some of her friends along without telling the bride. Some adults and kids turned up dressed completely inappropriately for the venue and just hung around like a bad smell. When it was clear there was no food or booze for them, they left.

No stories here unfortunately (or fortunately?) But there is a thread in classics I believe it's called 'worst behavior you have seen at a wedding'. Iirc one poster said her mil arrived at the wedding wearing her own old wedding dress, got hopelessly drunk, and sobbed loudly throughout the ceremony and reception.

I'm a wedding photographer and it's always a matter of having to just struggle through whatever happens on the day. I've photographed weddings which coincided with large sporting fixtures and the guests have been really rude, in one case using a wide screen TV in the reception room.Buses going astray to pubs has been a huge issue.In one case the wedding was on an island and best man was on the bus which arrived hours late.The larger boats for ferrying the guests across were finished, wedding photos were impacted and the venue charged heavily for bringing in extra boats.
One bride had her 15 yrs and 18yrs daughters as bridesmaids.18 yr old got stroppy and left the registry office, 15 yr old who was almost identical signed the register instead of the 18yr old. By the time we got to the reception several guests had told the bride that she wasn't married at all, elderly grooms mother was in tears.
Another bride with 450 guests arrived really late at her reception alongside most of her guests.She had paid for tea/ coffee, prosecco,shortbread, traybakes and a chocolate fountain but the wedding coordinator had to move them all on to the reception room.Thousands of pounds wasted so casually because of a lengthy trip to the pub.

Groom had slept with the Chief Bridesmaid 2 weeks before - everyone knew, destination wedding - so they decided to go ahead anyway. Marriage lasted 3 months.

I was a plus one so was finding it all very entertaining in a quiet way even though it was awful. M of Groom had recently got out of rehab and went back on the alcohol in a huge way.

Very posh family as well....

My sister forgot to ask one uncle - and so my mum invited him anyway and forgot to tell anyone. So he turned up and we had to rearrange all the tables....

@Deadringer - I used to work with a lady and her mum in the same office. The lady got married and a few weeks later they brought in the photos for us all to make the obligatory ''oooh' ''aahh'' noises too
The bride and her mum were wearing matching white wedding dresses!! Everyone thought it a bit odd but they seemed happy so I guess a non issue in their eyes

Note to self - must ask my mum what she is planning on wearing ;)

@Streamside - I'm sure you could fill a book with all your stories as a wedding photographer!

Don't believe anyone who tells you guests will 'deal' without food for a little while.

Getting ready for a wedding is very time consuming, and hanger is very real for some of us!

I'm going to a wedding at 11am, with naught but canapes until 4.30pm. And they're serving dinner without pudding. I'm taking a massive handbag full of snacks.

I've worked in the industry so the drunken argy nonsense barely registers with me. Plus being part of a large catholic family, it's almost not a wedding if nobody gets drunk and throws a punch!

But aside from that

There was the wedding where the grooms mother arrived looking like a mafia widow all in black with a huge black hat and veil

The one where someone unwittingly brought as their plus one the woman who'd been the grooms fathers ow a few years previous and grooms mother basically lost it

The one where the bride shagged the best man in the loo

The one where the supposedly very proper, religious bride was throwing up most of the time with morning sickness that she tried to pass off as nerves.

But the one that shocked me the most was the couple, friends of my then fiancés who married 2 weeks before us, had been together several years with no problems and had split before we got back from honeymoon! We never found out why and they never spoke to each other again, very odd.

We once went to huge lengths to get to an evening wedding reception (of a colleague) at the appointed time of 7.30pm. It was at a hotel but the reception was taking place in a marquee. The wedding breakfast and speeches massively overran but as ebony guests we weren't allowed in and were corralled into a small bar for an hour and a half, without as much as a single free drink, watching projections of photos from the actual wedding earlier in the day. I have no real objection to being an evening guest but at least don't treat them like second class citizens when they arrive.

This is bringing back more memories - a relative had a vegan tee total wedding which must have been so boring for the adults (I was 12 at the time)
Another wedding - The food was also late by 2 hours and when it did arrive, it was cold, soggy fish and chips so the church halls microwave was on overdrive....

DH's ex wife offered him a quickie for old times sake at our wedding. He declined. She then tried the same thing with his older brother, whose DW was not impressed. She eventually went home with his younger brother. Her own DH didn't come to the wedding.

@fadingfast - how horrible! And this is why I am inviting everyone to everything!