What not to do at a wedding

[Irishdays]

Getting married later on in 2019 and fairly typically want to avoid any faux pas.....but with the best will in the world you can't control everything :)
What has been the most ridiculous/outrageous/funny thing to have happened during a wedding? (your own or others)

A friend (the bride) got married about 5 years ago. I went to the wedding with 2 other friends of the bride. We all worked together. Towards the end of the wedding my friends now mother in law came over to us very drunk. She didn't realise we were friends of the bride and exclaimed very clearly to us how my friend is totally wrong for her son and she wishes this day never happened! My other friends and I just stood there in shock
Same wedding - the groom's brother swung a couple of punches at the waiting staff after being refused more alcohol - he ended up getting chucked out of his own brothers wedding by the venue
Needless to say this marriage ended in divorce 14 months later

I went to a gay wedding at the start of the year. It was in a school's chapel followed by the wedding breakfast in the ajoining school hall. A 7 year old relative of one of the groom's family waited until possibly the quietest moment in the chapel before saying in a very loud voice ''are gays allowed to get married in church? Mum you said the wedding isn't going to be a normal wedding cos its two men getting married'' - said mum (sat next too child) very quickly turned beetroot red

If anything goes wrong at my wedding I really hope we can laugh about it but who knows

Please tell me your stories

A mixed wedding I went to (Sikh Indian/white agnostic) the mother of the Sikh was bitching to her friend about the white agnostic in the queue for the toilet. Sadly for her, she didn't realise that another Indian friend of the B&G (and me) was two people behind and could hear and understand every word she said. B&G's friend waited til the mother came out of the loo and spoke to her in her own language, to let her know that she'd heard the disgusting things she'd been saying at her own child's wedding. The look on her face was priceless!

@AndNoneForGretchenWieners - How did your husbands ex get an invite to the wedding!? I'm guessing she hadn't displayed that sort of behaviour before?!

My mum went to a wedding about 35/40 years ago when having a video was innovative and unusual. So much so that they showed the unedited video in a sideroom at the reception so everyone could enjoy the novelty of seeing themselves on screen.

As the bride walked down the aisle someone behind the cameraman could be heard saying in a very clear voice “Oh. My. God. What does she think she looks like!’

You may not be able to control, but see coming:

Make sure anyone giving a speech doesn't slag off the person they are speaking about and reduce them to tears.

Or do your best to prevent your future SIL proposition your soon to be DH the night before.

You can control:

Keep the photos bit as short as you can, so boring for guests who are getting hungry.

When my friend got married the Bride insisted that the after-dinner party music was set to a level that was barely even audible. As a result the party was awkward and quiet and terrible until the bridal couple left at 11pm. After that we cranked up the volume and had a proper party until 5am!

If you have bridesmaids please don't force an unsuitable hairstyle on all of them just because you want them to look the same. Allow them some individuality.

Twin sister and I spent years trying to persuade mum to let us have long hair. Eventually she agreed (we were about 13/14) and it got to barely shoulder-length. We were thrilled. Then big brother married, his bride wanted the afore-mentioned and we were whisked to the hairdresser (four of us, not counting the matron of honour) to have our hair cut short, barely chin length. It didn't suit us at all. I was happy for my brother but am scowling in all the photos - my only revenge.

We had a church wedding, followed by a small family-only afternoon reception in a hotel nearby (strapped for cash so couldn't afford evening reception there too), and then back to a relative's house for a piss-up with friends.

A lot of our mates asked if they could come to the church bit to see us married, and that was fine. Except one couple turned up at the hotel afterwards. Awkward. We sent a cousin to tell then they weren't invited to that bit, and he discovered they'd told the hotel staff that a mistake had been made, add another table and cater for two more places.

The groom made a pass at me at one very down-market wedding. Yuck. His poor bride was 16 and pregnant.

The hotel where we had our wedding breakfast provided a brand new silver sword to "cut" the first slice of wedding cake. I didn't realise it was only meant for show, for the benefit of the photos, and plunged the sword squarely into the middle of the bottom tier. When I tried to pull the sword out, it pulled the whole wedding cake with it and the whole lot ended up on the floor.

Memorable photo though 🤣!

This was actually cute/funny rather than bad but one wedding I went to the ring bearer was the four year old nephew of the groom. Everyone kept telling him how important his job was and how he shouldn't let go of the ring until he got to the alter and he must do everything just right. When he got about half way down the aisle in front of everyone he lost his nerve and just kind of rooted himself to the spot and wouldn't move on. He also wouldn't relinquish the ring and his mum, dad and gran had to come out and negotiate with him for 10 minutes before the wedding could proceed.

Only do speeches if you’re very confident that you’ll want to hear what the people will be saying. Even if they’re drunk...

Wear a comfortable wedding dress and comfortable shoes! And make sure the dress works with all shoes you’re planning on wearing... (if you’re planning on wearing a different pair for the ceremony, for example).

Well, unless you have two different dresses. Which is a great option imo. But it may feel like a bit of a waste, unfortunately.)

If you have bridesmaids please don't force an unsuitable hairstyle on all of them just because you want them to look the same. Allow them some individuality.

The same goes for everything with bridesmaids! Hair, shoes, make up, dresses.

I doubted myself, but in the end I was SO pleased with how my bridesmaids wore entirely different dresses and hairstyles that were as 'them' as they could be, but still pulled together for a beautiful grouping. All different combinations of silver sequins and white. My only gripe was that one bridesmaid seemed fixated on choosing a style exactly like mine as the bride. I did draw the line at that!

(though then I accidentally told a friend she was ok to wear a floorlength white jumpsuit - which was fine by me until I remembered she is actually my husband's ex, and that others might be less polite about her choice!)

Everyone kept telling him how important his job was and how he shouldn't let go of the ring until he got to the alter and he must do everything just right. When he got about half way down the aisle in front of everyone he lost his nerve and just kind of rooted himself to the spot and wouldn't move on. He also wouldn't relinquish the ring and his mum, dad and gran had to come out and negotiate with him for 10 minutes before the wedding could proceed

That one really is super cute.

My SIL invited her estranged DM, (she was brought up by her DGP's,) who got out explicit "moving" drawings, you pull one part and other parts move - for entertainment of those interested/shocked/unimpressed.....

We used to live opposite a hotel. We were once woken up in the middle of the night by a terrible racket outside. In the middle of the road were two suited and booted men fighting on the ground, whilst a bride stood in her dress and veil, whacking them both with her flowers. Wish I’d had the presence of mind to take a photo.

The groom made a pass at me at one very down-market wedding. Yuck. His poor bride was 16 and pregnant.

I’m always so surprised that 16yos can get married in the UK!

irishdays we invited her because she had nvited us to her wedding the year before. Her divorce from DH was very acrimonious and she wasn't allowed to see her DC unless supervised, and couldn't have overnights, but she had been really nice to me when I was pregnant and had flu, so relations had improved significantly in the 10 years since the divorce. We thought she would bring her DH (the man she left my DH for) to the wedding, and we'r thought it would be good for the DC to see us all getting on as an extended family. I do regret it more because she pushed her way into the wedding photos and acted awfully without her DH there. She once told me that she had always loved my DH but he was too nice and not exciting enough for her. She also acted inappropriately at his hospital bedside, so he had to ban her from visiting. She is a strange one.

It never goes well when the groom spends the entire evening dancing with another woman and ignoring his bride.

Dm was still sewing in beads to the dress at midnight night before. No one had thought about buttonholes so df was sent out to try to source morning of the wedding.
Groom was 30 mins late bride was 45 mins late - think it was that way round.
The guests were starting to arrive for the next wedding and the service was v short and the sermon was all about patience and punctuality.

Relative's wedding abroad, at a huge holiday home of another relative.
Nobody but extended family was supposed to be staying over, but evidently a couple of the other guests missed their late night transport to their hotel, and in the morning a couple of the owner's children found those guests who'd evidently dossed there overnight, in flagrante in one of the salons upstairs.

Luckily the kids were just old enough to find it hilarious, and the owner was merely amused. (The couple took themselves off sharpish, before anyone but the kids were up.)

I must move in very naice circles, because I've never seen anyone either roaring drunk or throwing punches at any wedding! It would certainly have livened up one or two I've been to.

Will you be kneeling at your wedding?

If yes: make sure your husband checked the soles of his shoes before entering the church. Some groomsmen apparently think it’s fun to write funny little messages like >>help me

A man I know loudly, repeatedly and insistently offered to take the bride's BIL outside to give him a blow job during the reception. The bride's BIL is both married and heterosexual, though it would still have been awful behaviour if neither of those things were true.
The groom had to give this man a real telling off before he would stop it. Should have chucked him out in my opinion.

You can't really control this sort of thing, though, unless you just don't invite anyone who might have the slightest tendency to behave badly under the influence of alcohol. And even then I suppose people can still surprise you.

One for guests - don't ask the couple daft questions that were answered on the info sheet in your invite the day before the wedding. Don't pretend you're too old to Google directions. Even if you prefer to hear the best A road route from your Son in Law to be, doesn't mean it's something he knows or has time to handle 24h before.

Try asking a friend!

Rather specific one: if you're the best man and you have a mental health crisis backing out of any sort of connection to the wedding a month to go, DON'T rear your head on the eve of the wedding with an impassioned bid to attend on the day. DH and I both counted ourselves very lucky that that particular text didn't get through. It would have been wrong for everyone for the ex-best man to be present, needing babysitting and supporting, giving my husband a head-fuck on the day before, and pushing the man who'd graciously stepped into his place out of the way.

A very drunk person climbed up on a table and fell backwards splitting their head open on the dance floor. The bride and several others slipped in the blood which was pouring from his head. He went to hospital and the bride looked like something from a horror movie.

mainmain in some USA states children can marry as early as 13 with parental & court permission - I think to marry at 16 you need the same process in the UK (though I don't think its a good idea!)