to be peeved at small contribution from in-laws

[sarahloumadam]

Am going to sound like spoilt brat here but trust me, there is history! FIL called me at 7 in morning (he hasn't learnt this is sure-fure way of winding me up!) to announce they have written cheque towards expense of new baby. Am only 5 months so bit premature but grateful nevertheless. Then told me it was same as they have given to SIL (her eldest is 9 years old!)as they don't want to treat us differently and to ask for the cheque next time we see them! Is £50. Now £50 is £50 and I know we are lucky to have in-laws who contribute in anyway . Think am more peeved at manner in which it was done. Should I give myself a slap and get over it?

I think you are being unreasonable, I would be grateful for anything they give.

Are you annoyed because it is only £50 or because it's the same as your SIL has been given?

Message withdrawn

are you expected to be grateful?
if so, then it would annoy me. if not, then, yes, fifty quid is fine.

Yes, give yourself a slap, if your fil could see this, I doubt you would get anything.

Are you expecting them to factor in infaltion and the rise in the cost of living from 9 years ago? Yes I am afraid I do think YABU, sorry.

Although I sympathise at the 7am calls (I get those too, especially for some strange reason on a SUnday ).

YABU. They didn't have to give you anything, and £50 is £50.

Having said that, my ILs said they'd buy the pram. We told them no because we wanted a Silver Cross and knew we were looking at more money than we could ask them to cough up. They'd give us money towards it. Fine. Then a month or so before the baby MIL announces that she will give us the money after the baby is born "because she's superstitious". As we needed to buy it (with car seat) beforehand, that wasn't very helpful, and I'm not superstitious

Baby is 4+months old and still no sign of money.

inflation

I would be a bit annoyed too, because he made such a big deal out of this. If they'd waited until the baby is born, gave you a card with the £50 cheque in it, and left it at that, you would be grateful.

But he made a drama out of it, and you are supposed to be delighted with it! I would say something like "oh that's lovely, I will put it towards the pram we need to get".

As you say £50 is a nice gift, and they didn't have to give anything, but it's not that big a deal that it warrants a phone call at 7am!

get over it fgs

You mentioned there is a bit of history there - if you explained what that is that might help put his gesture into context as right now, I agree with the others that £50 gift is rather nice.

Well 7am calls would annoy me but as for the rest I think you need to give yourself a slap, it is very kind of them to offer to contribute and I think it is nice that they are setting out at the beginning to be as fair as possible to both lots of grandchildren.

YABVU

It is kind of them to give you a gift.

I feel sorry for your FIL - would be very hurt reading this.

If you are peeved that he called at 7am, then YANBU.

And it would have been nicer if he'd just given you the money instead of telling you to ask for it (I wouldn't ask).

But if you are peeved at him giving you a £50 gift, you know the answer...

blimey- i think thats lovely of them to give you anything!and it probably makes them feel really good which is why they phoned you at 7am.i dont understand why this would wind anyone up?

my inlaws bought us an all singing dancing pram thing, cot, car seats etc etc etc

my parents got some clothes

one has money, the other hasn't

both stuff equally appreciated

you need to get a grip imo

I'll have it, £50 would go a long way here.

My in-law is more than happy to send money. Unfortunately, he never has time for visiting. I would rather have a in-law who visits then one who contributes money. I think in the long run time put in, is more important than money put in. I think you know the manner that the money was given and therefor you know if you should be peeved.

here too

I have given myself a slap, did suspect I was being a tad unreasonable! Thanku mumsnetters for stopping my head disappearing up my own arse! Potoftea you got to the root of the problem I feel...he is a bit of a drama queen (when we went for meal to celebrate our engagement he announced that he sometimes feels like killing himself...)and that more than anything wound me up. But I'm sure there are a lot worse out there!

Thanks all

blame it on hormones!

The manner he did it does sound very pompous and irritating. Some of my family manage to offer presents or money in a way that really winds me up so I do have some sympathy.

I actually think I would be annoyed too. It's not the money but the manner of giving that I would pick up on. It's like he thinks he deserves a medal for such a great gesture.

You sound rather rude and ungrateful.
I go with your "Am going to sound like spoilt brat here" assessment of yourself.