Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to be peeved at small contribution from in-laws

61 replies

sarahloumadam · 24/07/2007 09:47

Am going to sound like spoilt brat here but trust me, there is history! FIL called me at 7 in morning (he hasn't learnt this is sure-fure way of winding me up!) to announce they have written cheque towards expense of new baby. Am only 5 months so bit premature but grateful nevertheless. Then told me it was same as they have given to SIL (her eldest is 9 years old!)as they don't want to treat us differently and to ask for the cheque next time we see them! Is £50. Now £50 is £50 and I know we are lucky to have in-laws who contribute in anyway . Think am more peeved at manner in which it was done. Should I give myself a slap and get over it?

OP posts:

Leati · 24/07/2007 20:20

I still think that if your FIL and MIL spend time with your children, it worth more than any amount of money.

expatinscotland · 24/07/2007 20:22

They didn't have to give you a bean.

Get over it and send a nice thank you.

Bibis · 24/07/2007 20:26

No don't give yourself a slap, they are expecting you to be forever grateful. Tell em to piss off and you don't need their poxy £50.

Sure-fire way of stopping them calling at 7am anyway, might never call you again, but that could be a bonus - dunno if you get on with them

Leati · 24/07/2007 20:35

Bibis

When you are giving your advice, did you take into consideration how her DH might feel if she does that. Seriously, that is not good advice for happy marriage. Especially, if he get along with his parents well.

Original poster

sarahloumadam · 25/07/2007 11:08

Eek - what have I started ! For the record;
I absolutely agree that they don't have to give me anything and that time spent with the baby is worth its weight in gold.
They are not particularly elderly - 7a.m. is when FIL drives to work and he tends to make calls then because he has handsfree! I am not a morning person but I can understand that some people would be bemused by my moaning about this.
OF course I don't object to getting same as SIL but feel sad that he has to justify the amount in those terms.
Of course I am going to smile sweetly and say thank you!
Having said all that some of you have given me some food for thought; Ladymuck I think you may have a point re feeling awkward and Idreamof daleks I hope new grandchild will be new start with FIL
Ta for all your comments, the bump says its time for a snack.

OP posts:

bellabelly · 25/07/2007 23:11

Bumps always say that. Sadly for me, my bump thinks that an entire cake is a snack.

cornsilk · 25/07/2007 23:18

MY FIL is as tight as they come and he and MIL have still never babysat!! dS1 is 9 now! But family is family. We wouldn't be without them.

KristinaM · 25/07/2007 23:35

sarah - it reminds me of after my second child was born. her father was not around so i was then a single parent with DD1 with SN and baby to support on maternity pay ( no maintenance)

my parenst had never bothered with my children, but they turned up after the birth, when there were lots of my friends there. My mother made a big show of how concerned she was and my father wrote out a cheque in front of everyone and presented it to me , announcing that this was to support us all until I went back to work. It was for £100 . I should point out that my father was then earning about £150K and they were paying school fees for my sisters children and taking them abroad twice a year

I wasnt very grateful either .

And BTW it was all for show...thats the last time they gave any money/gifts to any of my kids

Genidef · 25/07/2007 23:36

OP: I'm sorry but I've got to giggle at this one. When I was exactly as pregnant as you my FIL rang up at a similar sort of time - well, quarter to seven am - all cheery to make some sort of announcement about God knows what, and do I want to catch up with MIL. "Yes at around 9, thanks."

My FIL charges us for the yorkshire curd tarts he brings down for my husband from Betty's tea room - "that'll be £20." A;lthough DH mum was very generous with DD...

Sounds like they were trying to please you though - and it does mean something to treat everyone the same. DH's brother is treated like an only child...but that's a story for another thread.

REBELlatrixlestrange · 25/07/2007 23:53

Produce from Betty's? I'd pay, lol!

FIL will occasionally ring us early morning when he needs to tell us something. Don't think he even thinks about what time it is, tbh, he's just got something to get off his chest.

It's inconvenient, and yes I get irritated, but I know he will have been in a stew about whatever it was, and just had to ring us, iykwim.

Perhaps your PIL are a bit like this?

MyTwopenceworth · 26/07/2007 12:11

The thing that struck me from your post was that he told you to ask for the cheque when you see him.

So you are to go to him and say "Can I have that money please?"

Why? What does he get out of making you ask for his gift? Very odd to me. Do you also have to go up to him and say "can I have that birthday/christmas pressie you have for me please?"

If he has a gift for you, he'll pass it to you. It's just really really odd to tell you you are going to need to ask him for it. [boggle] This wasn't for fear of forgetting to give it to you, imo. He wants you to ask.

Flip

1 2 3