To think the Mumsnet forum is a bit broken?

[Fibbke]

I started a thread in Parenting about dd and her pmt. Not one single reply. You'd think the combination of periods, teenage girls and parenting would be one that would guarantee a reply or advice.

And yet AIBU is full of responses over the most trivial and daily mail type threads, lots of lovely posters but also a huge proportion of goady fuckers, drama llamas and over reaction.

Is this forum actually fit for purpose, or has it morphed into something more populist and Daily Mail comments section?

And, by the way, if anyone knows anything that might help 13 year old dd with her terrible pmt, I'd be very grateful.

PS I've been on these boards in different usernames for 11 years and tend to agree with you - less parenting support, more rants.

I agree. There's no middle ground anymore between posting in dead topics and getting maybe one reply if you're lucky and posting in the clickbait friendly topics and risking your dd's PMS being tomorrow's Daily Fail article.

Something has to change, #MNHQ

I was upset by the direction my thread in AIBU went this morning. Sorry but I was

In women’s health there seems to be multiple posts of the same topic so they only get 1 or 2 replies

I think too many sub forums, many are pretty dead but you don’t know they are until you post in them. I am never sure where to post. It’s almost too diverse

Someone mentioned thinking it would e like chatting to other mums in the playground. I don't like to imagine it being like on here! It would be quite strange though - that level of rudeness.

Also I think it can be very bad for mental health, you always get told off and whatever it is is your fault etc, or accused of something (as OP is here about posting themselves to help others etc etc).

Totally agree with you OP I’m on MN lot less these days because of it, sometimes you read a post and think “good luck your going to get flamed” even when it’s a perfectly reasonable post asking for help

Maybe it needs an area for more sensitive / vulnerable stuff where rudeness and general crap is not allowed? I wondered if chat was better but it wasn't, in fact people go on there saying others are unreasonable, when they weren't even asking that! and of course relationships is never work it out, it's always LTB.

I don't think MN has changed much over the years. It has always had its fair share of trolls and PBPs.

As for your specific complaint, you can't force people to read boards in which they have little or no interest. In addition there are many childless (couldn't have them) like me and childfree (chose not to have them) members who will never look at the Parenting or any other child specific boards, preferring to stick with those of a more general nature.

I think had you posted in the Teenagers section you would probably have got some helpful answers.

There is a great thread running in there at the moment about Teenagers impacting our mental health.
We 'saved' the Teenagers board from being merged into 'Parenting' recently because 'we' (the users of the board) said we didn't want to plough through nappies and sleep to find the teen issues.

Evening primrose capsules in mega high doses really helped me as a teenager and into my 20s. You have to take it all the time for it to make a difference though.

Yanbu. Jesus some of the replies you've had!
I don't know why anyone would tell you to go to the GP..GP's are usually useless on this kind of stuff. They would probably say that putting her on the pill is the only solution.
I totally agree about cutting out dairy and sugar, at least for the 2 weeks prior to menstrual cycle. Its bastard hard though.
The agnus castus drops that Vogel do are also very good-I'm not sure if they are OK for children though. PMT is the pits. for DD.

Yes I agree OP. Even the most reasonable posts get a hard time on here. There's a few things I would love advice on but I wouldn't dare post my own thread on here now. I was called all sorts on here when I posted about my DSCs mother dropping my DPs and her kids on me when DP was working and it wasn't his weekend to have them...I had to cancel my plans...but I was called a disgrace for complaining and my DP was a terrible parent for not being available 24/7 to be on standby for the ex. Never again.

There are far too many sub-groups, which means nobody has time to post on them all. I think it should be reduced massively; AIBU, conception, ante-natal, health, additional needs, babies and pre-school, primary age kids, secondary age kids, adult kids, relationships, moaning about trans. Done.

There are some amazing, lovely, helpful people on here (I only joined a couple of weeks ago) but also some proper bitchy comments when there’s really no need..not nice.

I agree with you OP. And it's not just on Mumsnet. Everywhere online and in real life there seems to be new levels of aggression, anxiousness and ill feeling around. All very much feck you Jack I'm OK.

And to answer your original post, my DD was very similar and eventually the mini pill sorted her out. She had tried variations of the combined pill but each had their own side effects. The mini pill turned our lives around. It's rubbish for her and you have my sympathies

Gardening? Horses? Property and DIY? S&B? Would they come under "chat"?

Soz that was to MRex ^^

Honestly I would try no dairy, low sugar, MASSIVE evening primrose and see how that goes before heading for the pill.

Hi Fibbke, I can see the point about lack of response in certain forums. Someone like me who left the teenage phase years ago ( thank God! ) would probably only see your post in Active. I think possibly Chat, as suggested, could bring the query to a wider audience.

I also agree about AIBU , I would not be inclined to post there. There are some very self righteous posters who seem to patrol the boards looking for someone to criticise. I often think of the anonymous letters in Agatha Christie novels etc.."Poison Pen" is such an apt description. Certainly people one would cross the road to avoid IRL.

Sorry to have no specific advice re PMT, would probably have welcomed some of the advice here, but pre Mumsnet! But we all survived and DD is a charming and thoughtful adult now!

Hi all,
Glad to see there's some good advice in this thread - and hope it helps the OP.

We're doing some work at the moment to reduce the number of sections on MN by combining some areas - and we're also concentrating on lowering the number of unanswered posts.

As mentioned upthread, the Teenagers section is being used a lot more now - so hopefully you could get help and support in there.
Suggestions and ideas for the Talk boards are always welcome - as ever, it's a work in progress.

Again, best of luck OP.

My daughter, now late 20s, had bad PMT. She'd put on weight and would get angry and depressed at times.

She wanted to lose weight and the local gyms wouldn't let her join as she was 13. We're lucky enough to have a spare room so I bought a treadmill and she went on it every night for an hour while she listened to music on headphones.

When she started university she started to go to yoga classes (incidentally she could have done that at 13, it's just that we hadn't thought of it.) Those classes have been a lifesaver. She got into a really healthy way of eating - wheatgrass smoothie, anyone? - and practised yoga a lot. She'd be out in the garden at dawn doing it, that sort of thing. It meant she belonged to a different group of people who were into improving mental health.

Now she never complains about depression or PMT and her mood is stable and her body's great. No problems with diet - she eats what she wants and understands why she eats what she does.

She's a huge advocate of yoga and thinks all schoolchildren should do a class every day

I love loads of you. Thanks.

And there's always someone waiting to say 'op you didnt get the replies you wanted so you are cross' they sort of, pounce. It's pretty weird actually.

you can't force people to read boards in which they have little or no interest of course not. I don't know anything about babies any more (mercifully forgotten) so I don't go there. But you'd think there would be loads of women who'd experienced pmt or had dds with pmt - and of course there are, some of them are on here and I've had loads of great advice. But it took starting this thread in AIBU with a goady headline to find them!

@IfNot - ok, add one combined Home, Garden & Pets section.

I don't know anything about babies any more (mercifully forgotten) so I don't go there. Exactly OP - that is the point. And when I was at my wits' end with a non sleeping baby I would have lived on those boards. And you wouldn't have been there to help.

Actually you have had quite a lot of advice from people who have experience. (I have none so can't offer advice).

If your point is that the boards are too diverse and subjects are being splintered then that's fine and I would agree with you, but it isn't fine to dismiss others with a pejorative "Daily Mail" type comment just because they don't post an answer about your DD's periods.

The AIBU or chat topics are much more general and appeal to a wider range of opinion. That is not a bad thing and MN would do well to make certain subjects easier to find - as it seems they are thinking of doing.

@Fibbke - I can understand why you are peeved that no-one replied to your thread - but I don’t think it is because MN is broken - I think it is because it is such a busy and successful forum. There are so many threads, and so many posters that when a thread doesn’t get an answer very quickly after it was first posted, it can drop off the active list very fast, and then people will only see it if they either look at the specific board it is on, or if they use the Last Hour/Last Day lists.