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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To pathetically ask you for some birthday wishes?

98 replies

RitmoRatmo · 11/06/2019 09:55

Firstly can I just explain that I’m not a birthday-zilla?! I usually don’t mention my birthday much and never plan a celebration or whatever (feel bad about being all conceited and saying “come and celebrate wonderful MEEEE!”)

But I’ve had a truly horrendous year (think marital breakdown, divorce, traumatic sudden bereavement, losing partner, depression, single parenting, kids with MH difficulties, work stress and a depressive breakdown/suicidal phase until 8 weeks ago. I suppose I hoped for a bit of a nice day (maybe a bike ride or picnic) with new DP and this had been promised. So I took the day off work. Then all plans cancelled over phone at midnight last night due to DP’s work commitments (he’d basically not got round to doing a piece of work he needed to get done and has to do it today instead).

It is torrential rain. I’m on my own while kids are at school. No plans. No one to see. Mulling over how I even made it to this birthday given everything that’s happened recently.

I was initially forgiving of DP and comforting of his distress at having let me down, but then I got angry and sent him some messages with both barrels. He’s v contrite but now I feel like I’ve been a bday prima-donna (something I detest in people).

So I guess I just wanted to ask if it would be unreasonable to be big-headed and actually openly request some birthday wishes from my fellow vipers? Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
joyfullittlehippo · 11/06/2019 09:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elQuintoConyo · 11/06/2019 09:59

That sounds shit.

Happy Birthday from Spain, where it's also bucketing down!

WineCakeFlowers

Margorystewartbaxter · 11/06/2019 10:00

I suggest out for cake and a fancy coffee, stopping off on the way for something to read. And a very happy birthday from me - you sound like a warrior of a woman BrewCakeThanks

RitmoRatmo · 11/06/2019 10:00

Thank you so much Joyful That genuinely means a lot to get your nice message. Smile

OP posts:
Orangepear · 11/06/2019 10:00

Happy birthday! Sorry you're having a crap year. Can you go to the shop and buy party food and lay it out for when your DC get home?

Busybusybust · 11/06/2019 10:01

Happy birthday! Take yourself out for coffee and cake..

Grumpymug · 11/06/2019 10:01

Happy Birthday 🎂🥂 🍾
And can you celebrate for you today while you're on your own? Naked dance around the living room eating cake?
Hot bath with music and a glass of something nice or nice cup of tea and some chocolate?
Something you can't do when other people are around?
You've been through a tough time and I don't think wanting to mark a birthday makes you a diva anyway, it's nice to know people care about you and a birthday is a way of that happening.

WhiteRedRose · 11/06/2019 10:01

Happy Birthday OP ♥️ even with the rain can you take yourself off out and get some nice bits to have a picnic lunch indoors? Or maybe out for lunch with a new book or proper old fashioned read of a paper?

Sexnotgender · 11/06/2019 10:01

What a shitty time you’ve had.

Hope you have a lovely birthday and the coming year is kinder to you FlowersCakeGin

Zoeputthatdown · 11/06/2019 10:02

Sorry it's been a rocky start to your birthday but looking ahead, hope this will be a better year. Take care! Cake & Flowers

MojitoMojitoo · 11/06/2019 10:04

Happy birthday RitmoFlowers[gin[

Im at work dealing with annoying twats.

If I was you I'd go to the cinema and order as much crap as you like and sit and watch a film if theres something on you like!

MojitoMojitoo · 11/06/2019 10:04

Gin fail thereHmm

powershowerforanhour · 11/06/2019 10:05

Happy birthday, well done for coping with sich a crappy year. Go and buy yourself a present from us xx

Toffeecakes · 11/06/2019 10:07

Hoppy birthday! I'm sorry you've had a terrible year, you sound like a very strong person.

A few years ago I made the decision not to base my birthday happiness on other people, it's not that they always deliberately make me feel bad but things always come up where plans are cancelled and it's always a huge let down. So, I give myself another date for my birthday - I put the day off work and I spend the day doing things for me! Which involve eye masks, napping, eating crap and ignoring all phone calls and social media. Sometimes I do something more productive like go to a gallery or hit the shops.

The beauty of this is that I don't tell anyone and no one knows - so it can't be hijacked or spoiled by anything or anyone. I usually try to do it before my birthday so that if plans do fall through then I've already treated myself and it makes the blow a bit less.

I never make a fuss with my birthday and doing this keeps things in check when I feel let down. I hope you manage to have a lovely day, I'd be mad at your DP too - hopefully he'll make it up to you.

Jessicabrassica · 11/06/2019 10:08

Happy birthday! It's mine too and its all sounding remarkably similar. My plans have been cancelled so I might clean the house and treat myself to a shiny kitchen floor!
I'm also waiting for the present from my daughter that I gave her the money to buy. I suspect she's eaten it (it was chocolate). Dh is away but did manage to leave me a present before he left but he ignored my birthday when we spoke this morning.

Hope your day improves!

blackfriars · 11/06/2019 10:09

What a horrible year you've had - you definitely deserve a lovely birthday to make up for it. Can you think of something you can treat yourself to today? A nice facemask/a good takeaway/a trashy magazine to read in the bath (if any of these float your boat of course)? Definitely a slice of the best cake you find too!

Happy happy birthday! xx

Peacocking · 11/06/2019 10:10

Toffeecakes - bloody marvelous idea! Happy birthday OP. Enjoy a day of being peaceful, eating too much and being as lazy as you want. x

Shoxfordian · 11/06/2019 10:10

Happy Birthday op and to you too @jessicabrassica
Hope both of your days hugely improve
CakeFlowers

RitmoRatmo · 11/06/2019 10:10

Oh I’m so sorry everyone, I replied personally to joyful but whilst doing so I’d had all the rest of your lovely messages, so I hadn’t seen them yet Blush

Thank you to you all. What wonderful kind words from you all, and some great suggestions that have really picked me up!

I think I’m going to do some outdoor swimming despite the torrential rain, then will take the great tip from orangePear and buy some party food for my DC’s to enjoy with me for when they get home. Truth be told, I don’t like cake, coffee or party food but it’d make my day to see the kids enjoying some party rings and bday treats as a bit of fun Smile

Thanks again all of you. Feel very touched that complete strangers would wish me well. It’s true what they say about strangers just being friends you’ve not met yet. X

OP posts:
Nicolamarlow1 · 11/06/2019 10:10

Your year sounds as if it's been total shit. Have a very happy birthday, and treat yourself to something nice. Here's hoping that next year is very much better for you in every way. CakeFlowers

FurryTurnipHead · 11/06/2019 10:11

You sound incredibly strong and resilient. Well done for making it though all of that, and for continuing to do so every day.
Have a lovely birthday, get an umbrella, find a fancy coffee shop, treat yourself, and tell someone in there it's your birthday too!

nettie434 · 11/06/2019 10:11

Happy Birthday RitmoRatmo Flowers Cake

Hoping this is going to be the beginning of a better year ahead for you.

Antigon · 11/06/2019 10:12

Happy Birthday! Make sure you get something you like (favourite cheese with crackers and grapes maybe?) it’s your birthday, treat yourself

MrsMozartMkII · 11/06/2019 10:12

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday dear RitmoRatmo
Happy Birthday to you!

Have a lovely chill day. Watch a film. Have a lazy soak. Order lunchtime takeaway.

Have a Birthday hug from me and CakeWineBrewFlowers

Bezalelle · 11/06/2019 10:12

Happy Birthday, dear Ritmo! Flowers