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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To pathetically ask you for some birthday wishes?

98 replies

RitmoRatmo · 11/06/2019 09:55

Firstly can I just explain that I’m not a birthday-zilla?! I usually don’t mention my birthday much and never plan a celebration or whatever (feel bad about being all conceited and saying “come and celebrate wonderful MEEEE!”)

But I’ve had a truly horrendous year (think marital breakdown, divorce, traumatic sudden bereavement, losing partner, depression, single parenting, kids with MH difficulties, work stress and a depressive breakdown/suicidal phase until 8 weeks ago. I suppose I hoped for a bit of a nice day (maybe a bike ride or picnic) with new DP and this had been promised. So I took the day off work. Then all plans cancelled over phone at midnight last night due to DP’s work commitments (he’d basically not got round to doing a piece of work he needed to get done and has to do it today instead).

It is torrential rain. I’m on my own while kids are at school. No plans. No one to see. Mulling over how I even made it to this birthday given everything that’s happened recently.

I was initially forgiving of DP and comforting of his distress at having let me down, but then I got angry and sent him some messages with both barrels. He’s v contrite but now I feel like I’ve been a bday prima-donna (something I detest in people).

So I guess I just wanted to ask if it would be unreasonable to be big-headed and actually openly request some birthday wishes from my fellow vipers? Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
Babdoc · 11/06/2019 10:13

I second all of the above PPs, and I’d say your DP needs to redeem himself by taking you out for the swankiest meal he can afford at the weekend!

Babyduck2 · 11/06/2019 10:13

Everyone deserves a bit of fuss on their birthday, it's not been a diva to expect a bit of TLC especially after such a shitty year, it's not like you are demanding diamonds and a lavish party!

Happy Birthday, go shopping and treat yourself to something you usually wouldn't, have some cake or go see a movie, and hopefully DP will have come to his senses later and will make a fuss! Cake Flowers

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 11/06/2019 10:14

Have some 🎂 have some 🍷
Have a great day!
💐 🎈 🍾 🎉

tattygirl · 11/06/2019 10:14

Happy Birthday! xxx

FuzzyPuffling · 11/06/2019 10:15

Happy Birthday ritmo..and here's to next year being much better for you.
Hope you have some cake and a good book. x

GeorgeTheFirst · 11/06/2019 10:17

Happy birthday and your partner should feel bad that you have booked the day off work and he has let you down, birthday or no birthday.

Go out! Whatever you do, don't stay in the house, and don't do any chores. Do something you want to do and eat something you want to eat.

You are self sufficient. You are enough. You can have a good day.

Butterflyone1 · 11/06/2019 10:18

Happy birthday to you but you need to snap out of your woo is me feeling and celebrate your day.

You only need yourself to enjoy the day. You should never rely on other people. Things happen and I can see your blame your DP for not doing his work on time but things crop up.

It might be raining but there's nothing stopping you going to a nice tea shop, having a slice of cake and reading a nice positive book.

You've had a bad year, trust me we've all had then but only you can make positive changes in your life. You've survived the rubbish so go celebrate. Buy yourself a birthday present, go see a film or go for a swim. Don't be stuck at home on the internet all day.

Toooldtocareanymore · 11/06/2019 10:18

oh happy birthday, and well done on getting through the year from hell, onwards and upwards, you are so right to mark this one!!At least the plans changed before the rain ruined them- so give dp some chance to redeem himself and move the bike ride/picnic plans to another day, in meantime some excellent ideas here I especially like the cinema one -when were you last at cinema in the daytime, or get a nice manicure, pick a really unusual colour, have a part set up for kids when they get home, that will surprise them, but most of all be kind you yourself you really deserve it.

RitmoRatmo · 11/06/2019 10:18

Happy birthday @Jessicabrassica !!! FlowersGinBrewCake

You poor thing, you sound to be having a similarly crap day Sad . Hopefully you’ll be able to get some inspiration from some of the suggestions on here, and I’ll be sending you some birthday-twin vibes!

Hey, let’s make a pact between us to have a really nice day for ourselves. Let’s take @Toffeecakes brilliant advice and follow suit.

@Toffeecakes - you absolutely ROCK! What a fantastic idea which I’m definitely going to pinch. I think you may well have totally changed my outlook on birthdays from now on. And wishing you a good one on your next one dear Flowers

OP posts:
FurryDogMother · 11/06/2019 10:18

Happy birthday! It's my (60th) birthday too - and I'm home alone with our 2 dogs. Planning on spending the day throwing balls for them, having a bacon sandwich (my favourite!) and then probably a few drinks with the husband this evening. Nothing too exciting, but we did have a get-together of all our friends at the weekend as an early celebration. I hope you have a lovely day, OP :)

Discombobulated47 · 11/06/2019 10:18

Happy Birthday.

Spoil yourself Flowers

Snowfalling · 11/06/2019 10:19

Happy birthday to you op!!!

You've overcome such a difficult year, that definitely needs celebrating. What a trooper you are. Celebrate YOU and how well you've managed everything. Sending you hugs and strength, and good wishes for the coming year.

Let us know how you spend the rest of the day. Your birthday plans sound fab.

I've also had a difficult few years with ending my marriage, and never really do anything on my birthday. Will take some tips from here and do a mini celebration this year.

Wishing you good health, and may this coming year be a wonderful and happy one. Xx

breaker · 11/06/2019 10:20

Happy birthday 🥳Hope next year is better for you 🍸

RitmoRatmo · 11/06/2019 10:26

Some amazing suggestions of things to do on here! Many of which would honestly not occur to me (I didn’t even realise that takeaways were available in the daytime nor cinemas open BlushGrin ) I’m generally crap at doing things ‘for me’ (as most of us are) but I do love my own company and I’m determined to have a nice time.

Am off outdoor swimming in the rain and then taking my lovely friend out for lunch to say thank you for having been a total rock through this year. Am so happy to have such a nice thing to do.

Righto, am signing off now to go and get active! Thanks again everyone, you’re all absolutely wonderful women. You’ve really buoyed me up and given me food for thought. What a fab bunch you all are Flowers Flowers Flowers (oh and lots of Wine!)

OP posts:
Toffeecakes · 11/06/2019 10:30

Thank you Ritmo - it really does change your outlook doesn't it! I've been doing this for 6 years after my DH really let me down on my first birthday with DS. It caused a huge row and then I realised that basing my own happiness and self worth on someone else wasn't the best idea. Don't get me wrong - he's great, but he doesn't really do the whole birthday fuss routine (and doesn't expect it for himself). So that's when I decided on doing it for myself.

I've had lovely birthdays since then. For my last birthday I went to the beach on a weekday, I took a book and chocolate and relaxed all morning. Then I went home and had a nap. Home thought I was working, work through I was at home. And unfortunately I'd dropped my phone the night before and was uncontactable whilst it was at the shop being fixed in my bag . I've convinced myself white lies are ok for one day, and school can still contact me.

RitmoRatmo · 11/06/2019 10:31

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @FurryDogMother !! FlowersCakeWine

The big 6-0!! I’d say that warrants TWO bacon sarnies in my book! Grin

Have a lovely peaceful day with your dogs, and a nice Wine with your DH this evening.

I’d never really given thought to the fact that there’s loads of people also having a birthday today.

Happy birthday to all my fellow June-the-eleventh-ers!! WinkGin

OP posts:
Anothertempusername · 11/06/2019 10:36

Happy Birthday OP! I'm confined to the house with a snoozing baby watching 20 year old Holby City. I hope you manage to enjoy your day and your DP gets you a nice treat to compensate!

OtterInDisgrace · 11/06/2019 10:39

Happy Birthday! Cake Flowers

FuzzyPuffling · 11/06/2019 13:46

And a Happy 60th Birthday to FurryDogMother too. (Who, in my opinion has the best username on MN)

YesQuite · 11/06/2019 13:55

I'm a bit late but...

...Happy Birthday! Wine Cake Flowers Gin

oh...don't mix the wine and gin obvs Grin

mbosnz · 11/06/2019 13:58

Happy birthday to you - and yay for outside swimming in the torrential rain, and treats to make the day special for everybody!

cranstonmanor · 11/06/2019 16:25

Happy birthday!

Here's a little digital present:

TeaAndChocolateBiscuits · 11/06/2019 17:06

Happy Birthday, celebrate the best you can. You've been through a lot, but you still manage to carry on. Eat cake, get drunk and forgive dp with a bit of birthday rumpy 😁

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 11/06/2019 17:12

Happy birthday! You've had a really shit year, and I've not gone through any of that, but I know how you feel WRT feeling ignored on your birthday, I had the same on my birthday a few weeks ago, it's just so disappointing isn't it?!

I hope you did sometjing nice with your day.

mabelsgarden · 11/06/2019 17:14

@RitmoRatmo

Hope you feel better soon, and the rest of this year is fab (and the rest of your life too!!!) Smile

To pathetically ask you for some birthday wishes?