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Original poster

Is my son's girlfriend lying?

74 replies

Emdu · 10/06/2019 20:23

My 12 year old son has a girlfriend (of the same age) and I think she is lying to him. She has anxiety which she is open about and she seems very sweet though is quite demanding of his time and will call me if she can't get through to him. She called me 3 times on my way home from work the other day and it's less than a 15 minute journey! The thing is the explanation she has offered my son is that she was very good friends with a child star who died and this has made her anxious. I feel terrible but I don't believe her... my son has told me today that she also knew a girl who is 'more' famous and that she committed suicide because she was badly bullied. Alarm bells are ringing in my head. My son believes her wholeheartedly but I just can't see how this can be true. Do you think I should talk to her parents? I really don't know how to broach this and would grateful of any advice x

OP posts:
MadameButterface · 10/06/2019 20:26

well it all sounds like a bit of a yarn, as kids that age often spin (they can get carried away with reinventing themselves at secondary school I think).

the lying itself isn't the problem, it's the calling him and you multiple times imo. it might be time to have a chat with him about healthy relationships and giving one another space and trust and all that. I wouldn't talk to her parents. it sounds callous but to me this is all about giving your son the tools he needs to negotiate healthy relationships and learning when or whether to take people at face value or not.

GoneGirl · 10/06/2019 20:27

Eh? Is he 12 or is that a typo?

Stiffasaboard · 10/06/2019 20:27

12?

FudgeBrownie2019 · 10/06/2019 20:28

I think this sounds all a little too much for a 12 year old. Why is she phoning you? Why is she demanding his time and attention to the degree she'll hassle you if he doesn't immediately respond? And how much time for sports, his mates and generally being a pre-teen does your DS get?

Ultimately it doesn't matter if she's lying; if you engage with her parents it'll just add fuel to the fire. Use it to teach your DS that healthy relationships aren't about owning someone or spending 100% of your time with them, and teach him to still take time for stuff he enjoys. Healthy boundaries within relationships aren't something we automatically instil into our DC because it's not always something we think about, but saying "it's ok to reply to her text in an hour" will help him (although I maintain that 12 is still pretty young to even need those kind of boundaries).

AlaskanOilBaron · 10/06/2019 20:30

This is ridiculous - he's 12? Call her parents and let them know what's going on. Enough already.

TheLoneWolfDies · 10/06/2019 20:30

I'm honestly just confused. Did you actually mean 12? Or is this a joke?

Chanteuse · 10/06/2019 20:30

Definitely talk to your son about healthy relationships and boundaries. and block her number so she can't call you anymore Grin

Lemonlady22 · 10/06/2019 20:31

12....struth.....to much drama imo...just imagine what she will be like at 16

PutyourtoponTrevor · 10/06/2019 20:31

Another saying 12???????

Dippypippy1980 · 10/06/2019 20:40

You need to involve his child’s parents. All sounds a bit worrying, the poor kid sounds like she needs some help. Your son is also too young to cope with this situation.

StopMakingATitOfUrselfNPissOff · 10/06/2019 20:42

Waaay too intense for a 12 year old

Xmas2020 · 10/06/2019 20:44

Tbh she sounds anxious and perhaps does not have anyone else to talk too about it.

VodselForDinner · 10/06/2019 20:45

Why are you even tolerating a 12 year old child ringing you like that?!

Whatever about the boundaries between her and your son, it sounds like you’re way off the mark here.

Tommysmummy88 · 10/06/2019 20:48

Kids make up nonsense all the time. However, I would certainly not tolerate a child calling me like that and I would have a word with her parents as she’s only 12

dillusionaldog · 10/06/2019 20:53

i would contact her parents as you are a bit concerned about her anxiety. you understand that its gotten worse after her friends deaths but she was ringing you when he didnt answer for 15 mins and you think shes taken these deaths harder than they may think and wanted to let them know. for safety and concern.

Ellisandra · 10/06/2019 20:59

12? Confused

How has she even got your number?

I’d be open with your son - ask him who these famous child stars were, and when he can’t tell you, ask him why she won’t tell. So the seeds of doubt. Or tell him outright that it’s bullshit. Unless you live in Hollywood and it might be true.

Call her parents.

yellowgreenbluepurple · 10/06/2019 21:02

This is strange I'm so many levels

yellowgreenbluepurple · 10/06/2019 21:02

*on

mabelmylove · 10/06/2019 21:03

Did you mean 21?

NicoAndTheNiners · 10/06/2019 21:04

Well you need to tell her point blank that she's to stop ringing you and also suggest that she stops being so clingy to your ds.

LarryGreysonsDoor · 10/06/2019 21:05

Wait a minute.
She’s 12 and is phoning you?
In a way it’s good that she trusts you but odd.

QueenBeex · 10/06/2019 21:06

When I read the title of the thread Is my son's girlfriend lying?

I didn't expect them to be 12 Confused

maimainomai · 10/06/2019 21:06

She is calling you? 3 times?
It seems like she considers you to have a friendship-like relationship. Which is a bit.... Unusual.

I think you might want to be gentle but honest with your son.

Villanellesproudmum · 10/06/2019 21:08

Must be 21 or 23 and a typo. Can’t be 12

Didntwanttochangemyname · 10/06/2019 21:08

This is bizarre! Why does she have your number? This is far far far too much for 12 year olds!