To move Dd away from STBXH

[PIPERHELLO]

My STBXH sees Dd once a week. Doesn't help at all with holiday care, is pretty unpredictable behaviour-wise / money wise - and my life is pretty tough as a result.

My family live in Cornwall (I'm in Kent) & I'm longing to move to be closer to them. But it would make it very difficult for my Dd to see her dad v often. And I feel awful doing that. My Dd loves her dad v much.

But I'm running out of emotional energy, I just can't do this on my own anymore. And I miss my family terribly. And I miss the support.

My STBXH has moved on completely, has a new family with his new gf. So would struggle to move if we did move.

I cry often thinking of being close to my family. I feel very alone, despite good friends nearby, I feel alone.

Please be kind with your advice. Thanks.

Honestly I think a lot of posters on here are being really selfish persuading you that it’s ok to ruin your DD’s contact with her father because you feel lonely

I certainly wouldn't be putting my life on hold or suffering for some arsehole who only does the bare minimum of parenting and makes my life tougher than it needs to be.

@Greencustard i think it's possibly one of those situations where unless you've truly lived it yourself, it's hard to imagine.

The sheer terror, loneliness, financial & emotional hardship of many single mums' situations is beyond comprehension for many. 90% of single parents are female so although there will be men in similar, awful situations, it is very much mainly women.

Maybe it's best to take the emotion out of it and weigh up whether it is financially viable to remain where you are? If being far away from your family is making your job/career unviable, I would expect a good father to prioritise keeping a roof over his child's head. Also, you might not have to move as far as you think - perhaps a larger city would provide better career prospects (even without your family nearby) and ensure contact is not too expensive or time-consuming to facilitate? x

Good grief ScreamingLadySutch where on Earth have you pulled personality disorder and abuse from? 🙄