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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Chicken pox and nursery - AIBU / WWYD?

71 replies

SinkGirl · 09/06/2019 19:15

Please help me settle an argument with DH.

Our twins (2.5) go to nursery three mornings a week (Monday, Thursday, Friday).

DT1 very obviously has chicken pox. It has been going round nursery for a couple of months. Noticed two blisters on his face on Friday. He now has lots, although he’s being an absolute trooper. No distress, no scratching yet, barely a temp.

DT2 has been under the weather and grumpy for four days now. Not sleeping well, not eating well. Getting upset over nothing. I really expected him to have blisters by now but there aren’t any. Thought he was getting one by the side of his mouth but was actually a little cut I think.

We’ve had so many bugs since they started nursery in January. So it seems likely to me he’s coming down with the dreaded chickenpox, but it could just be a cold brewing.

I say we shouldn’t send him to nursery tomorrow because he probably has chicken pox and if so he’d be contagious already.

DH says that we shouldn’t keep him off because he might have chicken pox since it could take two to three weeks for him to actually get it from his twin.

WWYD? I take his point, and I know DT1 would have been contagious when he was there Thursday and Friday, but we didn’t know that then and I wouldn’t have sent him if I’d known.

Just so there are no drip feeds, both boys have ASD and DT2 has hypoglycaemia (his sugars have actually been high which is a sign of a bug coming). They’re non verbal so they can’t tell me how they’re feeling. I think they’re the last kids at nursery to get it, but I don’t think that makes a difference.

OP posts:
PatoPotato · 09/06/2019 19:21

I feel like I could have wrote your post. I also have twin boys, same age, and on the path of an ASD diagnosis.

We also caught chicken pox from nursery. I don't think you need to send them in if you think it would be overwhelming but you can send your son in as long as he isn't visibly affected. We chose not to send both of them in and it only took about 3-4 days for the other to catch it.

Emmabryant123 · 09/06/2019 19:25

If he isn't visibly affected by pox and he is well enough for nursery you can send him
And I say that as a mother of a 3 year old who has been in nursery a year and hasn't caught pox yet...
Hope your little ones are ok

EllenRachel · 09/06/2019 19:26

If he's got no spots and seeming ok I'd send him. Obviously if he had spots or was too ill to go regardless I'd keep him home.

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 09/06/2019 19:26

I understand both sides - you can't keep them off everytime on the 'could be catching something' as they would never be there!
However, I would think if one of you needs to stay home to look after dt1 and dt2 isn't feeling 100% I would keep dt2 off for jusg some quiet time and then reassess.
If you had to work and there was no spots just lots of chicken pox doing the rounds I would say send him and save your holidays

Thehop · 09/06/2019 19:28

Poxclin mousse is wonderful for chicken pox

If your child is well and happy to go you can send them

Good luck

user1493413286 · 09/06/2019 19:28

I would send him; you could keep him off for ages for this reason and he may not get it. Nursery may say they’d rather he didn’t come if his twin has chicken pox though

TheTrollFairy · 09/06/2019 19:29

I would send them in. They might have chicken pox. They also might not have chicken pox.

Zebedee88 · 09/06/2019 19:29

Well he may not have chickenpox, however if he's not sleeping well and isn't himself, he doesn't sound well, so I would keep him home.

cookielove · 09/06/2019 19:30

Send the one without it in! For sure!

Original poster
SinkGirl · 09/06/2019 19:36

Agh, hung jury - you’re no help Grin

I’ll see how DT2 is in the morning. If he seems okay, he’s eating and had slept well and no sign of the evil pox, I’ll send him in - will mean I can focus on DT1 (although you’d honestly have no idea he has it aside from the blisters, he’s in such a happy mood so far!).

If he’s still seeming like he’s under the weather I’ll keep him home. I just don’t want the nursery to think I’m taking the piss sending one in when the other has it, but there is such a long incubation period I suppose you can’t keep them off if you don’t know they have it!

We have virasoothe and I’ve got poxclin turning up tomorrow (local chemist didn’t have any and haven’t been able to get out again).

OP posts:
Marmite27 · 09/06/2019 19:36

If you’re off anyway with DT1 I’d keep him off.

If you were going into work and there was no one at home, I’d send him in.

WinboxFlowers · 09/06/2019 19:36

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Marmite27 · 09/06/2019 19:38

Tbh I have a 3 yo with the pox, sounding very much like yours and her baby sister will be going to nursery tomorrow. But she’s not ill in the slightest and they’re winding each other up at home.

Other than the spots, the big one would be fine for nursery!

Bobbiepin · 09/06/2019 19:38

If he has no spots then there's no need to keep him off however, if he's miserable and possibly got something, even if it's a cold and would be happier at home with you and Twin 1 (as you're off already) I would be inclined to keep him home.

Littlebelina · 09/06/2019 19:44

winbox maybe they don't have £300 to spare (occurs to me you might be in the UK, it's not on the vaccination schedule here so you have to pay for it).

Op I might send him in if he is not showing symptoms, as you say, will give you time to focus on dt1.

Littlebelina · 09/06/2019 19:45

Might not be in the UK that should say!

HavelockVetinari · 09/06/2019 19:47

WinboxFlowers you'd be amazed how many people don't know that there's a chicken pox vaccine out there. When we got DS vaccinated some of our (very well-educated) friends had no idea it was even an option.

There's also the fact that it costs c.£130 per child, which to some people is a lot.

missyB1 · 09/06/2019 19:49

Don’t assume the nursery will be happy to have him. It may be against their policy to accept him, you will need to ask them.

WinboxFlowers · 09/06/2019 19:56

Littlebelina

It doesn't cost £300. No I'm not in the UK but we had our twins vaccinated before it was put on the schedule here. Similar price for the vax as the UK when we got it done. To me it's just part of the cost of having children.

MaryPopppins · 09/06/2019 19:59

For twins it would be £240-280 depends where you got it done. So almost £300.

MichonnesBBF · 09/06/2019 20:05

I would be very surprised if any nursery out there would decline entrance to a child because their sibling is ill.

I have worked in nurseries and various childcare settings for 20 years and have never come across a policy like that.

Happy to be corrected though.

Littlebelina · 09/06/2019 20:13

It's £75 per dose at boots winbox, 2 doses needed for two children equals £300 (think I've heard it's slightly cheaper at superdrug but you are talking 250-300 quid).

www.boots.com/health-pharmacy-advice/vaccinations/chickenpox-vaccination-service

either way, the fact is (like Havelock said) it doesn't either occur to a lot of people to get their children vaccinated as it not offered on the NHS, either because they are unaware of the vaccine or because they see it as a minor illness.

missyB1 · 09/06/2019 20:14

I work in a school nursery and we can refuse to have a child whose sibling has an infectious illness. Obviously a cold or cough isn’t an issue but D&V bugs or chickenpox we would make an individual decision based on the circumstances.

Littlebelina · 09/06/2019 20:17

That is a lot of eithers in that sentence, an extra one snuck in!

Original poster
SinkGirl · 09/06/2019 20:25

If you dreaded it that much why didn't you get them vaccinated?

Do you have any idea how much it costs having twins with additional needs?

We’ve put them into nursery for an extra morning a week because it’s helping them developmentally.

I applied for DLA for DT2 back in March, which would means our childcare bill drops from £450 a month to £180. Chicken pox vaccinations were one of the first things I planned to get done if the DLA was granted. I literally got the letter confirming he got it on Friday, the day he got his first blisters. Alanis Morissette could have used that in a song...

I’m sorry I don’t have tons of cash to vaccinate two kids at once, given that my twins need a great deal of additional care and I’m struggling to keep up with my 20 hours per month job.

But thank you for making me feel responsible for them being ill, that’s just what I needed.

OP posts:
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