Chicken pox and nursery - AIBU / WWYD?

[SinkGirl]

Please help me settle an argument with DH.

Our twins (2.5) go to nursery three mornings a week (Monday, Thursday, Friday).

DT1 very obviously has chicken pox. It has been going round nursery for a couple of months. Noticed two blisters on his face on Friday. He now has lots, although he’s being an absolute trooper. No distress, no scratching yet, barely a temp.

DT2 has been under the weather and grumpy for four days now. Not sleeping well, not eating well. Getting upset over nothing. I really expected him to have blisters by now but there aren’t any. Thought he was getting one by the side of his mouth but was actually a little cut I think.

We’ve had so many bugs since they started nursery in January. So it seems likely to me he’s coming down with the dreaded chickenpox, but it could just be a cold brewing.

I say we shouldn’t send him to nursery tomorrow because he probably has chicken pox and if so he’d be contagious already.

DH says that we shouldn’t keep him off because he might have chicken pox since it could take two to three weeks for him to actually get it from his twin.

WWYD? I take his point, and I know DT1 would have been contagious when he was there Thursday and Friday, but we didn’t know that then and I wouldn’t have sent him if I’d known.

Just so there are no drip feeds, both boys have ASD and DT2 has hypoglycaemia (his sugars have actually been high which is a sign of a bug coming). They’re non verbal so they can’t tell me how they’re feeling. I think they’re the last kids at nursery to get it, but I don’t think that makes a difference.

It really isn't necessary to vaccinate most kids against chicken pox
You will always hear the horror stories on here but in reality CP really is a minor illness which most recover well from and tjr immunity is usually life long
We have no idea how long immunity from the CP vaccine is and CP is so much worse to get as a adult

Oh and not everyone can afford the vaccine

To be fair, I normally wouldn’t keep either of them home for being a bit under the weather (if I did, they’d have been about three days each in the last few months - we’ve had literally constant bugs, in fact I’m stunned it’s taken them this long to pick up chicken pox, they pick up everything going).

This feels different to me though, because it seems likely he’ll have chicken pox if his twin does, but then I also know that it could take weeks for him to develop it, and him being under the weather the last few days could be unrelated (if it was chicken pox I’d expect him to have developed spots by now as he’s been grouchy since Wednesday / Thursday).

I think I’ll just keep him off and see where we are on Thursday. DT1 seems to be sailing through it, his first spots have already crusted so even he may be up to it by then if there are no new blisters.

DT2’s hypoglycaemia does make him more vulnerable when it comes to viruses, so I did check whether he’d get it on the NHS but his paediatrician said last week that he didn’t need to have it. I was going to, just to avoid them suffering through it.

Bless them
Usually pox shows sypmptoms 1-2 days before spots appear so it may be something else twin two has

@PatoPotato I’m sorry you’re dealing with the assessment stuff too, it’s so stressful. If you would like to chat to someone who’s been there, you’re welcome to drop me a message. I know it’s difficult to find people who understand what it’s like to deal with this with two at once

I ended up in hospital from chickenpox whilst pregnant. Nurseries tend to have women likely to be pregnant there.

Whilst one might have already caught it by now, would you wish to be the person who sent in a child who was contagious and they lost their baby as a result?

No of course I wouldn’t - which is why if you read my original post I was the one saying we shouldn’t send him!

Sounds rough op! Not sure if my tiny bit of anecdotal data will be useful but I have numerous siblings who all got chicken pox at one time or another (not all at once) and I never got it (the dr tested me for antibodies) so you may get lucky. I did get the vaccination as an adult though. If you were planning on getting then vaccinated anyway it might be worth calling the pharmacy tomorrow to see if they can vaccinate t2 which might prevent the outbreak? I’m fairly sure I’ve heard of other people doing this but could be wrong. Hope it all passes quickly for you all.

Thank you, if he doesn’t have spots in the morning I’ll call round and see if I can get him in anywhere.

It’s just strange how little it’s affecting DT1 (so far - touch wood) and DT2 has been the grumpy one but no sign yet. We shall see. I won’t be sending him tomorrow regardless, better safe than sorry I think.

We're £60k in, and that doesn't include the costs of the IVF we had to have them in the first place, so yeah I've got a fair idea of costs thanks.

Well in that case you probably understand it might be difficult for people who don’t have £60k and can’t work due to their children’s additional needs, which would make your original comment pretty ridiculous, wouldn’t it?

My second twin caught the pox 2.5 weeks after her brother. That was fun... I agree give him a day off and reassess tomorrow/Thursday.

Winbox rightly or wrongly the chickenpox vaccine is widely given in the UK.

Most people see chickenpox as a mild illness that most children get.

And to the other poster who mentioned pregnant nursery staff - they work in a nursery!! They should perhaps ensure they are immune. It’s a common childhood illness and children will be contagious before they show any symptoms. Sorry you ended up in hospital. That sounds horrible - but the vast majority of pregnant women in the UK will have had CP as a child and will be immune.

Op, it’s a hard choice. I agree with your husband I think, but can see both sides.

*is not widely given in the UK

Well we didn’t send him on Monday, the mild signs of illness passed and no spots. We will be sending him tomorrow. DT1 is really ill with it and still has new blisters popping up six days in. Sigh.

Have contacted the few places locally that do private vaccinations and there are no appointments until next Friday so that’s not going to happen. If he’s going to get it, he’ll have it by then.

I'd probably keep him off as he sounds under the weather and would probably prefer to be at home with one of his parents even if it isn't the pox!

We didn't just have £60k. We had to sell our house, and are now in rented. I wasn't suggesting it was easy. I stand by my original comment, which I see you had deleted, so not ridiculous at all. To me it's part of having a childs costs.

I caught CP from a colleague who’s kids had it (twins coincidentally)

CP can be passed on through Third Parties, don’t risk it, please.

It can not be passed on through third parties only from someone who is contagious or if you touch a shingles rash

@WinboxFlowers, shame you can’t spend £60k on buying empathy, insight or manners. It would have been money very well spent in your case.

The Chicken Pox vaccine is hardly promoted or pushed, and it is expensive for most families. If you have an issue with that, perhaps stop berating parents for not having £300 spare for medical expense. Possibly put that energy into campaigning for it to be free on the NHS or at least cheaper if you feel so passionately about it being an essential part of child care.

Emma, yes it absolutely CAN be passed on by third parties

I caught it ages 30 from my colleague when his kids (who I never met!) had it

A friend caught it aged 21 from someone who came in to the office when she was temping on reception, their kids had it.

You can carry the illness without developing symptoms if you’ve had it yourself already

I'm sorry but no it absolutely can not

You can't catch it from someone who isn't infectious
After you've had pox the virus lives in your body but you can not catch anything from the person unless the virus reactivates as shingles and you touch the shingles rash
Below is how pox is spread :)

It's absolutely 110 per cent coincidence that you got pox at the same time as yours colleagues kids
Same for your friend to

I would ask the nursery. That's what I did when my dc's had chicken pox. They said that they would rather dc2 didn't come in while dc1 had it so dc2 had a month off preschool, 2 weeks waiting to get chicken pox and 2 weeks with chicken pox. We did the same a few years later when dc3 got chicken pox and dc4 and dc5 were off for a month too.