To be annoyed with sexism in DS's nursery

[serensiren]

On Mother's Day, mums we're invited to my DS's nursery for a coffee morning between 9-11 am.
For Father's Day in a couple of weeks, the invitation reads: pop by for a donut and coffee with your little one before you head off to work. Time: 7.30 am.

Why is it assumed that dads have work to go to but mums don't? Does anyone else experience this from their children's nurseries? This is my first child and his first year at nursery so it's all new to me and frankly I feel quite insulted! AIBU to feel this way and mention this blatant sexism to them? Or will I just be seen as 'that mum' 🙄🙄

I would mention it to them, it’s sexist and not fair that mums could miss out because they have to work at those times.

Do the mums get doughnuts?

Well it doesn’t really follow that they think Mums don’t work, as presumably if the children’s Mums didn’t work they wouldn’t be in nursery (in general).

I generally find that the “sexism” in nurseries and schools around these days takes the form of making a big fuss of Mothers Day and totally ignoring Fathers Day.

Yup thats making sexist assumptions. I'f ask them if you can come to the Fathers day coffee.

I guess, from their point if view, it’s probably nearly all mums dropping off at 9am, so that’s why they’ve asked mums to stay on? Most dads are working, to be fair?

You are right though that people of either sex whose children are in nursery are unlikely to be free between 9 and 11

Ours used to do this! Father’s Day breakfast for important busy dads and Mother’s Day tea at 3pm for mums. I never understood why they thought the mums were less likely to work - it was a private all day nursery.

Anyway I don’t know if someone complained but this year it was breakfasts for both.

Not in work terms, no, but I had to have words with DS’s preschool teacher about her antediluvian ‘boys don’t cry’ /‘boys will be boys’/‘demanding little princess’ attitudes.

Could it be that the Mother's Day one was poorly attended so they've changed the set up of it all?

Aria** - mums had cake, dads got the catchy 'donuts for Dads' invitation.

Our nursery opens at 7.30 am to allow for drop off before work. Why is it assumed that mum can make it at 9am but dads have such important jobs, they have to accommodate them earlier? I had to take half a day off work to attend that Mother's Day coffee morning 😠 if I had known, I would've just gone to the dad's event!

Tipsy no idea, this is the first year we've been at this nursery. I might ask them and put it forward as constructive feedback

There's no way that I would waste annual leave on a coffee morning at DD's nursery lol. I agree this is totally sexist and you should speak to them but if women in general are attending the event then it perpetuates those attitudes because women are enabling them by taking time off work to go. There's no way I would do that. I don't have an important job but my annual leave is precious nonetheless.

Oh my word is this all you have to complain about?

Phossy oh wow, I would definitely have to say something about that! How did they take the feedback?

I didn’t put my child into a particular nursery because I was told “Sometimes when the boys are being loud we take them out to the equipment [playground] and the girls can stay here and read or play quietly.”

I had to take half a day off work to attend that Mother's Day coffee morning

Surely this just reinforced to the nursery that you were available. So they carry on holding the mum event at that time, as mums attend. Perhaps in the past they tried something similar for dads and had a low turn out, so changed it to suit.

I expected to scoff at this before opening your thread

But actually I agree - not sure if sexism, but certainly bloody inconsiderate

I'd be annoyed over this too.

What I was jaded about with ours is that the mums got scones and the dads got a sausage sandwich 😭

Meadow I had visions of my son being on his own and everyone else's mums being there with their child. As it turns out, it probably upset my son more as he didn't like to see me leave when the coffee morning was over! Lesson learnt.

Xmas this is one of the only problems for now, yes. If I have anymore, I'll be sure to let you know. In the meantime, feel free to scroll on if you don't have anything to offer, bit of a wasted effort, that comment. Did it make you feel better?

That’s shocking. You should definitely complain.

Our nursery is pretty sexist too. My daughter has started referring to herself as a princess and wants to wear tutus because that’s how the staff treat her. It’s not something I would have ever encourage.

I don't see the sexism.

At ours Mother's Day was tea and cake with the choir singing. Father's Day pizza coke and football!

IceRebel yes that's a good point. I'm thinking I will mention something as it certainly wasn't my intention to make them think it was ok. I just didn't want my DS to feel left out

CreakingKnees

The assumption is that working mothers can go without, or that mothers don’t work. Fathers they accommodate at a different time.