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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Overnight guest opinions

54 replies

Zippy1808 · 09/06/2019 15:54

So last night I was woken up by my bf who had come home from the pub telling me he had brought home a bloke to stay on our sofa for the night because he has lost his keys. All my boyfriend knew of him was he drinks in the pub, they say hello and talk about football and only last night found out his name. So in my opinion a complete stranger. We have an 8 yr old daughter who was woken up by them both chatting loudly and started to cry because she was scared. Although me and my bf calmed her down she still wasn’t happy. This morning the man left early thankfully and I told my bf that I was angry as he could have a criminal record and we don’t know his name or where he lives to prevent this happening again. However, he thinks I’m sick to have such thoughts and is angry that i didn’t get up to make the fella breakfast.

What are other people’s opinions as according to my bf I’m overreacting and no one else would have a problem with this kind of goings on?

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 09/06/2019 15:56

I'd have thrown them both out last night!!

Your BF is a dick, a selfish one at that.

Get up to make the random breakfast....Shock

Bambamber · 09/06/2019 15:57

He didn't even really know the guy and he brought him home, I would be absolutely furious.

And then expecting you to get up and make a stranger breakfast? I would be seriously questioning my relationship

Bambamber · 09/06/2019 15:58

Was he not bothered by his 8 year old waking up crying and being scared?

AriaFitz · 09/06/2019 15:59

He’s angry you didn’t make a random bloke he brought home breakfast? He he always such a thoughtless, misogynistic arsehole or was this a special occasion?

Purpleartichoke · 09/06/2019 16:02

He brought an unknown, intoxicated, man into your home while you were sleeping. Furious is to gentle of a word.

fedup21 · 09/06/2019 16:03

However, he thinks I’m sick to have such thoughts and is angry that i didn’t get up to make the fella breakfast.

What? Are you serious?!

Do you need a vagina to be able to make breakfast?

saoirse31 · 09/06/2019 16:04

Why was your 8 year old crying cos there was another person in the house?

user1493413286 · 09/06/2019 16:05

That’s so incredibly unsafe especially with a child in the house. I would have sent him away last night

HavelockVetinari · 09/06/2019 16:06

Shock Shock

What a cuntweasel! He brought home a stranger who could easily be a paedophile or rapist into his home where his 8 year old daughter sleeps alone (I sincerely hope you slept in with her once you became aware) and then he expects YOU to get up and make fucking breakfast?? Are you running some kind of hostel for unfortunates?! Aside from having zero clue about safety, he's a misogynistic twat as well (unless the drip feed is that he has no arms or mouth and is thus unable to make breakfast or explain where the food is kept). Angry

What on earth do you see in him? Confused

Original poster
Zippy1808 · 09/06/2019 16:06

Thank you!!! Believe me I really wanted to tell them where to go last night. The only reason I didn’t kick the man out last night is because I didn’t want to scare my dd further by going mad snd having an argument in front of her. Decided instead to stay up with her in my bed and just hold off to hopefully tell my bf in morning he was in the wrong and it would never be happening again. But was dumbfounded to be told I’m sick for insinuating his ‘mate’ may of been a pedophile. Just needed to know I’m not the only mum who would react this way.

OP posts:
Original poster
Zippy1808 · 09/06/2019 16:09

She was crying because it was 2 in the morning and she had been woken up by loud voices and music downstairs. She’s not used to that.

OP posts:
EL8888 · 09/06/2019 16:11

You are right and he is wrong. He’s a random who you know nothing about. Making breakfast?! What else should you have done -washed and pressed his clothes, cleaned his shoes? If breakfast was imperative (it wasnt) you boyfriend could have made it. Not least as your were woken in the middle of night and had to comfort a distressed child. FFS!

ChewbaccaHutchinsCool · 09/06/2019 16:15

If this were my bf he'd been sent to stay with his drunk punter creep from the pub. The fuck he thought you should get up and make him breakfast. Let me guess, your bf is a misogynist barfly who goes on the piss a lot and leaves you to do all the work.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/06/2019 16:16

Your bf is a fucking idiot. I would have gone nuclear over this, and there's no way I would have let that man stay. If I were you, I would be seriously doubting your bf's intelligence and judgment.

Queenoftheashes · 09/06/2019 16:18

Urgh you need to drown your bf

Marmozet · 09/06/2019 16:19

I would seriously be questioning your relationship after this. If he can't see the potential dangers of what he did then he is an idiot! Would make me feel concerned around what he feels is acceptable when it comes to your daughter.

jameswong · 09/06/2019 16:20

Sounds like you picked a real winner with him. Kudos.

Original poster
Zippy1808 · 09/06/2019 16:20

My boyfriends argument is that because I have met the man before when I joined him down the pub and stood making idle chit chat to him for about five minutes that means we know him. He thinks he was being the Good Samaritan last night by letting the bloke in. I think it was disrespectful to me and our family home to be unsafe.

OP posts:
Isatis · 09/06/2019 16:23

What exactly stopped your boyfriend from making his mate breakfast if he thought it was necessary?

Original poster
Zippy1808 · 09/06/2019 16:23

Just to clarify it was about 6 months ago that I joined my bf down the pub and met this stranger. Not last night...

OP posts:
ChewbaccaHutchinsCool · 09/06/2019 16:24

He sounds like a person who cares more about booze and punters than his family. Angry at you not getting up to make him fucking breakfast like he's running a 5-star B&B? I'm not sure I'd be willing to stay with someone like this because I reckon those who do this are sexist twats in other ways, too.

Loveislandaddict · 09/06/2019 16:24

It probably wouldn’t have bothered me that someone he knew from the pub stayed over night. Perhaps i’m Naive but I tend to give people the benefit over doubt, and you could consider your bf was being generous. I also wouldn’t assume there’s a paedophile on every corner either.

However, the comment about you having to get to make him breakfast would rile me!

Fundays12 · 09/06/2019 16:25

I would be furious he put your child at risk. Thankfully nothing happened but I would go crazy.

areyoubeingserviced · 09/06/2019 16:26

Your bf is an idiot
I would be absolutely furious
The gall of the man expecting you to make breakfast.

Original poster
Zippy1808 · 09/06/2019 16:26

I am questioning our relationship. Although this is far from usual I’m more shocked that he is defending his actions and acting like I’m the lunatic.

OP posts:
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