To be fed up with DH turning off the hot water?!

[Daffodil2018]

Just that really. I'm on mat leave at the moment so in the house most of the day. Every single time I go to run the hot tap, only cold comes out so I go and check the water tank and - lo and behold - he's turned the hot water completely off AGAIN. He does it all the time.

This is so fucking annoying on many levels. I want to wash my hands in hot water after changing a nappy. I don't want to have to wait half an hour to run DD a warm bath each evening. There is a timer setting, which he could just leave it on, but NO. Off entirely.

I've asked him so many times not to do it and he either LIES (!!!) about it or says "but we don't need it on all the time". He is being a stingy bastard if you ask me. Alright for him going off to his office all day.

I literally do nothing except look after the baby at the moment and I think having hot water to wash my hands/her stuff in is not just hygienically necessary but a basic comfort too. AIBU?!

Also I couldn't live with a man like this, unless we were on the bread line I couldn't live without hot water at my fingertips.

He is being an arse. You could buy a thermostat cover - clear plastic and lockable. Very easy to fit and you keep both keys of course. (Google Amazon or heating / plumbing supplies). Discovered these when caring for my mum who had severe dementia and turned off anything with indicator light including the boiler. Much more practical long term than wrapping the timer switch in gaffer tape.

I managed for 5 years without hot water due to lousy boiler

I hardly even noticed it.

But I did have:

A washing machine
A dishwasher
An electric shower
Anti-bacterial gel.

Have just moved to a new house with fancy new boiler that heats the water as and when I use it.

It has taken a bit of time to get used to such luxury, but I am starting to like it!

If the hot water tank is insulated it should only switch itself on when the water in the tank cools to certain temperature... so it can be "on" but not heating, does he realise this?

And what if baby has massive poo spillage and needs bath (or any other messy scenario which is best solved by a full wash)? Can't wait 1hr to wash baby (after switching it on again).... what does he suggest for this? Washing dishes, washing clothes on hot wash, all these things are reasonable uses of hot water during the day!

I'd be working out which fuse the power shower ran off, and remove fuse just before his shower (or mid!)... see how he likes a cold wash, as he expects his child to.

Yes to putting his dinner in the fridge

Ok it's a power shower - is the temperature set so that when he goes to use it he doesn't need to adjust it and therefore he wouldn't think to check it was ok before using? Because if so I would set it to just cooler than lukewarm (if you set it to freezing he'll sense it before properly getting in) right before he's about to use it - every time until he quits this crap!

Personally I wouldn't be cooking or doing his laundry until he quit being an arse on this!!

Let the washing and washing up pile up, and the cleaning, and hand him a shitty baby AS SOON as he walks through the door, and then go out and leave him to cope with all of it and no hot water. Return two hours later and sit him down and explain that this is literally your life, every fucking day.
I'm so angry with him on your behalf OP!

Oh God. I grew up with a father who did that shit too. So selfish and controlling! He just got tighter and tighter and odder and odder over the years. I hope this is the worst thing your DH does.

This is fascinating to me as I'm in Australia and we just have hot water as soon as you turn on the tap, what's this about timers and turning hot water off and on repeatedly? 🤔

In the U.K. the old-fashioned way of having hot water was a cylindrical tank usually upstairs, fed by a huge cold water storage tank in the attic. The cylinder was heated either by electricity (immersion heater) or by your central heating boiler which you programmed to switch on or off. If you wanted hot water for the morning you'd set the timer to heat the tank an hour or two before you needed it.
Combi boilers have been around for over 40 years. No need for any tanks, the water is heated as and when you turn on the tap. I can't imagine why anyone would have anything but a Combi boiler these days.

Thanks very much everyone for some excellent ideas!

Just to explain, I do think this is primarily about thrift rather than any attempt by him to be controlling, and he's certainly not a nasty person in the slightest or I wouldn't be with him. Our bills went up over the winter as I've been at home with the lights and heating on all day and using the washer dryer loads. Now that we're living off one income we've been trying to rein in our spending. But clearly turning off the hot water is not the way to do it.

We actually had a very calm conversation about it this morning where I explained why it's so annoying for me to find no hot water and he has agreed to leave it on the timer from now on. He is a man of his word so I think he'll stick to it but I will update the thread if not!!

Still laughing at some of the excellent revenge suggestions

We've put it to go on for an hour in the morning and again in the evening. I think that should be fine as it's mainly for washing hands/plates plus one small bath for the baby a day. We both use the shower normally.

No need for any tanks, the water is heated as and when you turn on the tap. I can't imagine why anyone would have anything but a Combi boiler these days.

Just off the top of my head: because they are renting an have no choice, because the property is unsuitable (eg some 3 storey houses) because boilers are expensive and they can't afford to replace...

OP ours is on an hour in morning before showers and an hour in the evening for baths, washing up etc. It's enough that I never run out of hot water.

I would love to get a combi boiler but we can't afford to replace it at the moment. Our current boiler is 12 years old though and on its last legs so we will need to do it soon! My parents have a combi boiler and it is amazing. So small and efficient!

He is sending you a message that you are lowly menial person who does not deserve modern conveniences and comforts, he on the other hand as the important person who goes out to work must have everything ready for his comfort and convenience when he gets home

We have ours on for a couple of hours each day, it doesn't need to be on all the time.

I’m an absolute tight arse, but even I have the hot water timer on
We set it for 30 mins in the morn and 30 mins in the eve. This allows for general washing up and hand washing during the day, then one bath and one shower in the evening.

I can't imagine why anyone would have anything but a Combi boiler these days
We have a back burner and water tank because we only bought this house 3 months ago and we don’t have £4K it would cost to replace right now.
It works fine (if a bit inefficiently). When we do get round to replacing it even the best estimates from the gas engineers reckon it will only save us about £200/year so it’s no where near a priority for us.

We have our hot water on timers for 1.5 hours morning and evening. The water is always hot.

Over the weekend I've had it switched off and have just been putting it on for a hour as I don't want it coming on at 5.30 at the weekend (and can't be bothered to readjust the timer).

I don't want to replace our boiler because new boilers don't last and our current boiler has been around since 1992 so it's better value to stick with the one we've got until it does break (and can't be fixed economically) rather than buying a new one for a few thousand and it breaks after 4 years.

Now that we're living off one income we've been trying to rein in our spending.

Has he actually made changes to his spending though? And making a packed lunch instead of buying in lunch or foregoing a coffee to go isn't in the same as doing without the basics like hot water.

But glad to see you've had a chat. Hope he doesn't slide back into frugality that doesn't affect him.

FWIW..

Most all house's have a Hot water storage tank. The idea is hot water is stored in that tank ready for use when required. The water can be heated by an elecrical immersion heater or by a gas boiler that heats it when the Tank thermostat calls for heat, normally hot water is stored at 60 deg C in th UK. The immersion heater also has a built in thermostat.

So when some water is drawn off the tank temperture will fall and the immersion or gas bioiler will come on and top the temp back up.

Some houses and flats have a combi boiler this is a rapid heat system but if a lot of requiremt is made on it cold house being heated from well, cold and a lot of hot water needed at once some of them can be hard pressed to meet the load placed on them under such circumstances.

The only downside with the always on hot water tank are losses through the insulation which arent that much and as most are in an airing cupboard the "waste" or lost heat keeps that warm as well so warmed up dry sheets and the like.

We have a hot water tank! We've just had to have a new boiler installed! The tank was a godsend when the boiler packed up at Christmas.

Spray him with cold water via a water gun, and tell him it could have been lukewarm, if he had left the hot water on

He's a div. It's more efficient to keep a tank warm than to keep having to heat it up from cold every time.

why would you even think that? My MIL in a retirement complex left her hot water on permanently. Saved her a fortune when we realised, and turned it off.

Use a wet wipe, or boil a kettle maybe, if you don't have hot water in the tank.

He may now be in the habit of turning it off and do it without thinking. Pop a post it note on the switch to remind him. Warn him you're going to do it though otherwise it'll come across as somewhat passive-aggressive

He may now be in the habit of turning it off and do it without thinking. Pop a post it note on the switch to remind him. Warn him you're going to do it though otherwise it'll come across as somewhat passive-aggressive

May I suggest "Touch this knob and I'll cut your knob off, you knob!!" for the note?