To be fed up with DH turning off the hot water?!

[Daffodil2018]

Just that really. I'm on mat leave at the moment so in the house most of the day. Every single time I go to run the hot tap, only cold comes out so I go and check the water tank and - lo and behold - he's turned the hot water completely off AGAIN. He does it all the time.

This is so fucking annoying on many levels. I want to wash my hands in hot water after changing a nappy. I don't want to have to wait half an hour to run DD a warm bath each evening. There is a timer setting, which he could just leave it on, but NO. Off entirely.

I've asked him so many times not to do it and he either LIES (!!!) about it or says "but we don't need it on all the time". He is being a stingy bastard if you ask me. Alright for him going off to his office all day.

I literally do nothing except look after the baby at the moment and I think having hot water to wash my hands/her stuff in is not just hygienically necessary but a basic comfort too. AIBU?!

Let him know that it costs more to heat a whole tank of water from scratch than to keep it at the same temperature all the time. Immersion heaters are more efficient if left switched on. Otherwise, keep switching the water back on again every time he turns it off.

Good luck.

Reminds me of a colleague of my DH. He has the heating controls on his phone app. He keeps it at 15/16 degrees in the winter and his DW is home with 2 under 5s. My DH only knows this as he overheard a call from the man’s mother who had called in on Dw to visit and was calling to ‘ask’ please could he turn it up. Abusive and controlling.

Fuck that’s awful

Has he an Irish mammy? We're obsessed with the immersion switch! And the cost of heating the water using it! It passes on to the kids by osmosis or something! I had ours on for a while this evening and my dd was reminding me to turn it off!!! We have an electric shower and a dishwasher so we don't need a lot of hot water.

OK, I have a very eco-conscious dh (environment primarily but also bills), he hasn't switched the hot water off completely, but he has tinkered with the amount of time it's on to try and work out the minimum time it needs to be on for, which has meant a few times where the hot water has run out.

On those occasions I've gone absolutely nuclear and it hasn't happened again.

My advice would be to discuss it with calmly and point out that it is more economicical to use the timer but just say that you're not living like this anymore,and if he switches it off again then he will find himself locked out if the house when he comes back from work and he can find somewhere else to sleep that night.

You're an equal person in this relationship and if he was still to continue to do it (then lie) after a proper chat about it then I agree with pp he's not a model lovely husband, he's actually a nasty, Controlling gaslighter.

Good grief! Hot water on demand is one of the luxuries of living in the modern world. How much can it possibly be saving, anyway?

The lying is absurd, too. Why does he even bother? Does he think you'll believe it just magically turned itself off?

You could come up with a helpful list of ways to save more money (since that's apparently so important to him at the moment), with an emphasis on cutting back on the things that he most enjoys. "Look, dear! If we economise by eating cold sandwiches instead of steak, we can save enough to afford to have the hot water on all day! And if you take a sandwich for lunch every day, we might be able to have the lights on for a couple of hours every evening!"

Immersion heaters are more efficient if left switched on.

In the summer when the central heating isn't switched on and I'm reliant on the immersion heater for hot water, our electricity usage goes up by about 50% and that's only using it for half an hour here and there. If I left it on constantly I'd probably be paying about £400 a month for electricity.

Of course you should have hot water especially with a baby. Tell him he is an inconsiderate idiot and a bad dad, and, every time he leaves the house, check the timer and switch it back on.

Watch him as, in my experience, this stingy selfish behaviour gets worse with age!

I would switch an outside light off too. Goes on when we answer the door or if expecting someone. We have solar garden lights, so people who approach the house can see where they are going.

Every day he turns the hot water off, put his dinner in the fridge and serve it to him cold. Then when he accuses you, lie “no I didn’t”

Immersions are NOT a more efficient way of heating water,they use more electricity.

OP two hours a day on the timer should be enough for hot water all day (or it is in our house anyway!)

To the PP asking about the washing machine, they use cold water

My hot water comes on in the morning for about an hour and a quarter and it gives enough hot water for DH to have a shower, me to have a bath/shower in the mornings and it’s still hot for the kids to have a bath in the evenings.

Time for a combi boiler.

It all depends on what sort of system you have. OP has a water tank as opposed to a combi boiler (which gives hot water on demand). It's more efficient to have it on for an hour or two morning and night to keep it up to temperature than have it switched off (assuming your tank is insulated OP, if it isn't, buy it a jacket)

Who on earth turns off the hot water in their house? Tell him if he does it ever again you are going to absolutely lose your shit.

While investigating how the hot water tank works, also look at solar systems for heating your hot water tank. Very efficient, and would heat during the day.

Use the power shower for hot water

This would drive me crazy. My dh goes round turning all the fucking toilet rolls the wrong way and I'm sure it's a small wind up because I can't find the end of the roll!

An hour twice a day isn't enough as you are likely to draining the hot water and it doesn't have time to hear back up.

When we had a tank it would come on around 6am and then off at 9am, this meant any hot water we had used getting ready was topped up and then a couple of hours in the evening in case anyone had a bath etc.

Have you quite recently moved in? Has he always had a combi? I recall a very very painful thread on MN discussing hot water tanks and so many posters simply had no idea how the system worked.

moonrises

I have my timer on for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening. We’ve never run out of hot water. Myself and oh have morning showers and 3 dc have an evening bath. Plus there’s water for dishes during the day.

@JonSnowsFurCoat same here, no issue with an hour morning and early evening

I would tell him in future not to even think about interfering with the hot water whilst he is out of the house.

It’s controlling behaviour and it’s nasty as he doesn’t have to experience the discomfort himself. What an arse.

From your comment that's it's barely on long enough to fully heat the tank, it does actually need to heat properly (over 60°C) to prevent legionella. You don't hear about it so much any more as domestic systems are pretty good if used properly.

Our emersion heater costs no more being left in then it does if you switch it off and on when needed. I know this because my electric is on a key and I can exactly how much things cost to the nearest penny. It costs a lot of money to heat the water from cold, then to leave it constantly warm. Also if you keep switching it on and off the thermostat will need replacing sooner.

What's the status this morning OP?

If you cook his dinner put it in the freezer for 10 minutes and take the fuse from the microwave. No hot water, no hot dinner. Also wash his clothes in cold water only. No soap.