To be fed up with DH turning off the hot water?!

[Daffodil2018]

Just that really. I'm on mat leave at the moment so in the house most of the day. Every single time I go to run the hot tap, only cold comes out so I go and check the water tank and - lo and behold - he's turned the hot water completely off AGAIN. He does it all the time.

This is so fucking annoying on many levels. I want to wash my hands in hot water after changing a nappy. I don't want to have to wait half an hour to run DD a warm bath each evening. There is a timer setting, which he could just leave it on, but NO. Off entirely.

I've asked him so many times not to do it and he either LIES (!!!) about it or says "but we don't need it on all the time". He is being a stingy bastard if you ask me. Alright for him going off to his office all day.

I literally do nothing except look after the baby at the moment and I think having hot water to wash my hands/her stuff in is not just hygienically necessary but a basic comfort too. AIBU?!

I'd definitely be turning it back on when he leaves for work. I'd also make sure it was off and the water cold in the morning when he wants a shower before his day.

Also, next time, instead of saying 'that is a lie', tell him that he is a liar and you won't live with one.

This is fascinating to me as I'm in Australia and we just have hot water as soon as you turn on the tap, what's this about timers and turning hot water off and on repeatedly? 🤔

Wtf - your H switches off the hot water because he doesn't think your comfort is worth it. Let that sink in.

I second switching his shower onto cold water and ditto whenever he washes his hands etc. Hammer his own message home to him.

You need a conversation about how it works and how timer makes it more efficient.

pashola
we've got different system, you can have a combi boiler and hot water on demand but it might mean no water in the shower when someone flush the toilet.

Such a modern and efficient country can't you tell

I would switch it on the minute he left for work in the morning. And I would tell him that if you find it off one more time outside of jointly prearranged times, that you are going to run several hot baths/showers a day. Just. For. The. Sake. Of. It.

Dickhead.

My DD3 is prone to using the power shower for around an hour or so am i being UN-reasonable by turning the hot valve of to encourage her to save energy>?

And shes out proptesting re Extinction Rebellion next week;!

I’d inform the cheapskate that you’ve booked a plumber to come and fit a brand new boiler since yours is clearly faulty because it keeps turning itself off. I bet he’ll confess pretty quickly. But seriously, this is really quite nasty behaviour, he not only thinks your comfort isn’t worth it, he also thinks it’s ok to lie to you

Thats very controlling.
Can you superglue the switch?

I would point out by turning it off the entire tank goes cold needing to heat the whole lot. More economical to keep it warm rather than keep heating from scratch. We turn our water temp down in the warmer months but never turn it off. Also point out if he does this in winter it risks pipes freezing.

OP I hope it is him just being stupid.

FWIW my hot water ‘ light’ on the boiler is on all day, but boiler only comes on when the temp of water drops below a certain level, so it’s not ‘on’ all day. The tank stays hot, but obvs when you run off some hot it has to be replenished, the overall temp then goes down, boiler switches in to bring heat back up.
Reminds me of a colleague of my DH. He has the heating controls on his phone app. He keeps it at 15/16 degrees in the winter and his DW is home with 2 under 5s. My DH only knows this as he overheard a call from the man’s mother who had called in on Dw to visit and was calling to ‘ask’ please could he turn it up. Abusive and controlling.

I would set an alarm on my phone to.go off, every day, 5'minutes after DH Left for work that says :" turn hot water on", then you don't get caught out.

He sounds irritating!!!

Reading MN would put any woman of marriage, the shit women have to put up with!!!

I feel your pain. My DH does the same thing with the outside light by the front door. I like to have it switched on at night and we have a ridiculous scenario every night...I switch it on, he turns it off, I switch it back on again. Nothing is said, but this can go on for the whole evening. Drives me insane 😡

You turn the outside light on even if you're not expecting visitors? That would annoy me too.

Turn the stop cock off shortly before he gets up in the morning. Make sure you flush the toilet so the cistern is nice and empty. Alternatively can you turn the fuse switch for his shower off.

You don't need the water on at that moment do you?

Put it on a timer...then use all the hot water before he has his shower! Men can be annoying so and so's...

wait till he is in shower & turn of the electric!

I like the idea of turning off the electricity when he's in the shower. Make sure you time it so he's all soapy for maximum inconvenience.

My dh does similat to ilovemypantry, he switches off the light in the utility room when I'm in the kitchen (and quite likely to be going there next, for the washing, or whatever). Fucking drives me nuts. As soon as he's left the room, i just switch it back on again, i mean, what is the point? I'm perfectly capable of** switching all the lights off when I've finished out there, but no, he comes along and flicks the fucker off. And yet...he'll leave the tv on when he's no longer in the room watching it. Sorry, went off on a bit of a rant

On a similar note, my STBXH was on a energy-saving kick last year and put our refrigerator on a timer......I would get ice cream from the freezer and it would be all soft, almost melty, I would tell him stop with the timer nonsense; refrigerators/freezers have a built in thermostat and besides it’s not safe to store freezer stuff not at freezer temp and on and on I went with my logical explanations and on and on he went with the timer.

One day I just unhooked the damned timer and that was when he finally stopped.

Just one of many annoying things he’s done that I am so looking forward to not having to deal with very very soon.😉

user1471517900
Why would you find that annoying?

Make him a cup of tea. Don't boil the kettle.

I hate our combi boiler. Water in bathroom is hot but in kitchen I can run a whole sinful and it’s barely tepid. The sink it next to the boiler and I can hear the fucker firing up but it giving out any hot water!!! At least you can turn your hot water on again.

I have never ever heard of anyone switching their HW off. I wouldn't even know how to do it? Are you saying it costs a lot to run even if you have the taps turned off? What if you decide to do a load of laundry?

I like the PP suggestion about a plumber. Next time he lies to you about switching it off, immediately ask him to call a plumber because the boiler must be faulty. Rant on about how much the call out charges are. He may enter into a reasonable conversation or stop switching it off.

Btw my engineer DH says the amount of energy you use to heat the water is directly proportional to the start temperature and the end temperature. So the better lagged your boiler is, the less energy you need to heat the water (as it cools off much more slowly) and the less expensive it is. It makes no difference if you have to heat the water by 2 degrees every hour for 6 hours or by 12 degrees once every 6 hours. The best way to save money is to set the hot water temperature at the lowest level you are comfortable with

I think losing your shit with him is the best approach actually. Tell him if it happens again you’re leaving. Don’t do all the passive aggressive stuff, it doesn’t work. Speaking from bitter experience.