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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who’s in the wrong here?

79 replies

Beebeezed · 07/06/2019 09:58

Was just sat on a bus. A lady gets on with a buggy and parks it in a way that is taking up two spaces and then sits down next to it, so taking three altogether. Bus not very busy.
An elderly lady opposite her starts shaking her head, tutting and muttering to her friends about how many seats she’s taken.
The lady with the buggy asks if there is an issue. The elderly lady says ‘you don’t even pay for babies to get on and they end up taking two spaces’ to which the lady with the buggy replies ‘pretty sure you got on this bus using a free bus pass. Out of all of us I’m the only one that’s actually paid for my seat. Thank you’
This is then followed by a lot of moaning and voicing of disgust between the elderly lady and her friends while the lady with the buggy goes on her phone to ignore it.

I’m on the lady with the buggy’s side here. If the bus had been packed I would have expected her to manoeuvre the buggy to be taking up only one space but it wasn’t so I don’t think she needed to. I’m all for respecting your elders but I do feel this lady was being a bit silly. What do you guys think, who’s was being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
PutyourtoponTrevor · 07/06/2019 10:00

Could she not have folded the buggy?

Original poster
Beebeezed · 07/06/2019 10:00

The baby was newborn so in a basinet style buggy

OP posts:
user917 · 07/06/2019 10:01

I'd also be on the lady with the prams side. I take up 2/3 spaces with the pram and me sitting if the bus is quiet, if it's busy we take up 1 between us. Don't see why it's a problem if no one else needed the seats at that time!

Walkerbean16 · 07/06/2019 10:01

The seats were not needed so there was no reason for the older lady to say anything.

MrsWidgerysLodger · 07/06/2019 10:02

Tbh neither of them sound very nice. I agree there was no need for elderly lady to be tutting the way she did if the bus wasn't very busy, (I'm assuming Mum would have shifted the buggy if spaces were needed) bit her response sounds a bit rude too.

FanjoFizz · 07/06/2019 10:04

If there were people standing because the bus was full then I can see why people may be annoyed at her using all that space.
But the bus wasn’t busy so the older lady WBVU

ThanosSavedMe · 07/06/2019 10:05

The elderly lady was being an interfering busybody. She wasn’t being affected by the pram or mother sitting down. In face no one was affected but the pram. Well done to the mother for saying something.

ThanosSavedMe · 07/06/2019 10:07

MrsW, how was the mother rude. She asked the other woman if there was an issue. Woman then said something ridiculous and the mother responded. She wasn’t rude.

If the elderly woman hadn’t done or said anything to begin with, nothing would have been said to her.

Drum2018 · 07/06/2019 10:08

Busy body had a seat so shouldn't have said anything. If she, or anyone else, had been prevented from sitting because of the buggy then it would be fair enough to ask to manoeuvre the buggy. Buggy lady did well to speak up.

funinthesun19 · 07/06/2019 10:09

God there is so much hate for parents with buggies on buses isn’t there Hmm There was no need to fold the pram down as someone else suggested.

The old lady just sounded like she was a moaning busy body who takes advantage of the fact that most people will take her side due to her age. Can’t stand people like that. The woman with the buggy was just minding her own business and the old woman decided to make some snippy comments, and was shocked when the woman with the pram answered back. Good on her for doing so!

UpsydaisyandIgglePiggleareatit · 07/06/2019 10:12

Why is it considered rude to challenge behaviour that was rude? It would have been rude to tell the elderly lady to fuck off. But the pram lady just stated the facts really.
I’m with pram lady too. It wasn’t busy so what is the issue? I’m glad the pram lady challenged the elderly lady’s behaviour as well.

Original poster
Beebeezed · 07/06/2019 11:03

The old lady just sounded like she was a moaning busy body who takes advantage of the fact that most people will take her side due to her age.

Couldn’t agree more @funinthesun19. I find this a lot on public transport!

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 07/06/2019 11:05

The old lady had a seat, she was just interfering. Probably has nothing better to do with her time

Fucklt · 07/06/2019 11:36

Of course taking up three seats is rude. There are many ways she could have positioned herself to take up fewer but chose not to.

UnicornBrexit · 07/06/2019 11:43

Bus not very busy.

So the bus wasn't full? plenty of room to sit down? then the old lady was exercising her right to be cuntish .

AphidEater · 07/06/2019 11:50

Old lady sounds like a twat for piling on a new mother about a decision which caused her no difficulty and didn’t negatively impact on her at all.

BertrandRussell · 07/06/2019 11:53

You lost me at “elderly” lady.

She was unpleasant. Her age is immaterial.

CharminglyGawky · 07/06/2019 11:57

Her age wasn't immaterial as the point was that she hadn't paid for her ticket either as she was old enough for a bus pass!

BertrandRussell · 07/06/2019 12:00

Just read the thread. It seems absolutely fine to abuse old people. If she had been taking up a seat with shopping, or was a young person with a bus pass would her age have been mentioned? What about if she had been fat would that have been relevant? After all she would be talking up more room...

WhoWasIt · 07/06/2019 12:01

I'm on the side of the Mother. If the bus wasn't busy then i can't see the issue. I'm sure that if the bus had got busy then the Mother would have adjusted the buggy to make space?
I would have asked the old lady if she would like a spoonful of honey to take away the sour taste of the lemon she appears to be sucking.

isseywithcats · 07/06/2019 12:03

When my children were little back in the seventies you had to fold up pushchairs there was no dedicated spaces and believe me three kids shopping and a buggy was a real pain to get on a bus so its great that there are dedicated spaces now, to be honest when someone on the bus has a buggy or pushchair im so glad to be going home i dont even notice how they have parked their buggy, the old dear was well out of order even saying anything especially as the bus wasnt full up and she had a seat and gets a free bus pass, i dont evne get that as they have changed it to 65 before you can get one now, and the mom was right she had paid for her seat

JacquesHammer · 07/06/2019 12:05

Just read the thread. It seems absolutely fine to abuse old people. If she had been taking up a seat with shopping, or was a young person with a bus pass would her age have been mentioned? What about if she had been fat would that have been relevant? After all she would be talking up more room

Her age is relevant in terms of the response the mother gave, no?

As in you do qualify for free bus travel when you’re a certain age.

BertrandRussell · 07/06/2019 12:21

I’m on the side of the pushchair woman too as far as space taking up goes. But the constant casual ageism is just so incredibly depressing. People can be vile. Newsflash-including young people and middle aged people.

CripsSandwiches · 07/06/2019 12:27

If there were loads of seats then she's doing no harm with her buggy if more people got on I would expect her to fold the buggy or move it so it wasn't taking up loads of seats.

TheRealShatParp · 07/06/2019 12:33

The mother is in the right.

The woman being elderly is very relevant to this particular story.

And I would also like to know how the mother was rude?