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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think he didn't need to charge me

454 replies

memorial · 06/06/2019 19:58

Yesterday I travelled from Cardiff to London for a birthday treat to see Hugh Jackman bought for me by my sister.
I bought my train tickets in advance at £50.
We had a wonderful time though the £20 train ticket back to my sister's house was galling. And again this morning back to London.
I left my sister's house in plenty of time (according to TFL planner). But of course the train was stuck at a red light for 10/15 mins and the tubes were awfully slow.
I raced into the station just to see the train doors closing. Never mind I think it's super off peak midweek I'll get the next train in half an hour.
So I do. Scan my ticket at the gates and settle down for the journey. A busy but not full train with no seat reservations.
About 10 mins in a rather brusque ticket collector comes round. I show him my ticket and he gets quite aggressive loudly telling me I need to buy a ticket. I am genuinely gobsmacked and explain what happened.
He points out (rudely and very loudly) that my ticket was an advance single and only valid on the train I missed.
I am very apologetic and say I usually buy a super off peak and didn't even realise this and again explain how I just missed the train.
He again very loudly and rudely says I can buy a ticket or get off with a fine. He really is talking to me like I am a criminal fare dodger.
So I pay another £50 close to tears. What a horrible end to a lovely birthday treat.
So while I accept that my ticket wasn't valid, did he really need to be so rude and aggressive and surely he could have used a bit of discretion. I clearly wasn't trying to take the piss.
Feeling really sad and disappointed. Have spent £140 on train tickets plus tube and feel like a naughty school child.

OP posts:
memorial · 08/06/2019 16:18

Well lucky for you I don't post my actual significant life events on here.
But a wonderful group of mumsnetters got me through the worst years of my life with my abusive ex.
And when my mother died horribly of cancer in 6 months I didn't post here either.
Funnily enough AIBU isn't really where I would choose to post anything significant.
And have realised way to late why I take long hiatuses from mumsnet.
Some of the vipers in this pit have nothing nice to say to anyone ever looking at their posting history.
What a horrible way to live making judgements and criticising people on the internet.
I'm awfully glad I have an actual real life with I'm off back to.

OP posts:
GreytExpectations · 08/06/2019 16:31

What a horrible way to live making judgements and criticising people on the internet.
I'm awfully glad I have an actual real life with I'm off back to.

Oh do give it a rest, op. Some posters didnt agree with you, boo hoo. No need to throw a strop and use the "I have a life" line. Maybe dont post on here if you want 100% agreement and sympathy

Trebe · 08/06/2019 16:39

I've had more than one train conductor let me off on a similar screw up. I obviously wasn't trying to scam the system, I just got on at the wrong time. A good conductor will be flexible.

NoBaggyPants · 08/06/2019 16:41

I am a bit ocd about who I share my space with on a journey, where I sit and as I probably have dyslexia I can’t be perfect or have the time to read the small print.

This is almost as ignorant as the OP.

There's no such thing as "a bit OCD". You either have a diagnosis of OCD or you do not.

Dyslexia would not stop you reading "valid on 11.30 train only", written in the same size font as the rest of the print. If you can read this, you can read a ticket.

youarenotkiddingme · 08/06/2019 17:16

Grey it was the next train. And if they checked they'd know her connecting Tron was late. I could understand if it was ages later and obviously couldn't be bothered but they had evidence there and can use discretion. But the ticket Marshall's behaviour from the outset showed he had no intention.
Sometimes despite the fact someone is 'right' (eg it was a later train) it isn't right to act the way they do.life is t black and white.

littlemeitslyn · 08/06/2019 17:28

Sadly people do treat working class people differently

GreytExpectations · 08/06/2019 18:37

I am a bit ocd about who I share my space with on a journey, where I sit and as I probably have dyslexia I can’t be perfect or have the time to read the small print.

What an ignorant thing to say. You cant be "a bit ocd". You either have a diagnosis or you dont. Also "most probably dyslexic" isnt an excuse to be lazy and not bother reading the train ticket!

GreytExpectations · 08/06/2019 18:40

And if they checked they'd know her connecting Train was late.

A conductor has a job to do and shouldnt be responsible for fixing the OPs mistake. If she knew she missed her train she should have gone to the ticket office to check her ticket was still valid before boarding.

MiniMum97 · 08/06/2019 18:40

Sorry but regardless if the difficulty of his job there is no need for rudeness if someone being challenged is perfectly polite. He shouldn't work with the public if he can't be civil. The ticket buying for trains is ridiculously over complicated and confusing and not always very clear, almost setting people up to make errors such as yours. You obviously had a ticket, and had made a mistake. He could have some some leniency and if not at least some common courtesy. I bet you are really shaken up and upset by the experience. I would complain and see if you can get the cost (or some of it) of your first ticket back.

GreytExpectations · 08/06/2019 18:43

Sorry but regardless if the difficulty of his job there is no need for rudeness if someone being challenged is perfectly polite. He shouldn't work with the public if he can't be civil.

As far as we know he was being civil and just using a louder voice then the OP would have liked. She seemed to keep going on to him about her mistake when he was just stating the facts to her. The OP's post doesnt really explain exactly what he did wrong apart from use a louder voice and charge her again(which he was right to do)

MiniMum97 · 08/06/2019 18:44

MN responses always amaze me. It's only on MN that people "doing their jobs" are allowed to talk to customers in whatever way they please. It's very poor conflict management to be rude, brusque or aggressive. You are only going to antagonise someone that way so he's not even doing his job very well and is putting himself at risk by speaking to people in that manner.

Sounds more like a jobsworth who's little but if "power" has gone straight to his head. Small minded bureaucrats act like this! Plenty of ticket inspectors do not behave like this!

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 08/06/2019 19:25

As far as we know he was being civil and just using a louder

Aggressive rude and loud

Thats from the original post...I haven’t checked to see if the op said anything further

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 08/06/2019 19:27

It's only on MN that people "doing their jobs" are allowed to talk to customers in whatever way they please

Christ no

On just about every other thread if a shop worker for example looks at the customer sideways the thread is full of posters complaining about what is the world coming to, complain, they should be given the sack etc

RussianDolls · 08/06/2019 20:23

Greyt.

You just cannot let it go can you.

Stop attacking the OP.

RussianDolls · 08/06/2019 20:26

And you as well Bluntness.

GabsAlot · 08/06/2019 21:10

They dont care abot the tubes being late if it wasnt a connection with another train they wont care

PCohle · 08/06/2019 21:44

It's not attacking the OP to disagree with her. I'm sure the OP is happy to hear a diverse range of opinions - why else would she have posted in AIBU?

GreytExpectations · 08/06/2019 22:20

Stop attacking the OP.

RussianDolls Who made you in charge? Also, please do explain to me how disagreeing is the same as "attacking" the op.

DdraigGoch · 08/06/2019 23:03

Also, rereading the OP. At no point does she say the connecting train was delayed, she says the tube was slow and the train stayed at a red light.
She said that the train/tube was at the red light for 10/15 minutes. There's no way that was in the timetable, that's a delay.

Dyslexia would not stop you reading "valid on 11.30 train only", written in the same size font as the rest of the print. If you can read this, you can read a ticket.
Physical card tickets are pretty clear. The various mobile app and PDF tickets on the other hand often have restrictions which are tucked down the bottom somewhere and difficult to read. I come across plenty of people who make the same mistake. Trust me, if I (someone who is paid to check these things) find the ticketing system to be arcane and overcomplicated then god help the general public.

Today I came across a lady who'd been sold a ticket for another operator. I could see that she'd been genuinely unaware and that the ticket office should have been clearer on the validity when selling it. Therefore, I didn't charge her for a new one and just warned her about the restrictions. Policy was that she should buy a new ticket and have the original refunded but as the guard, I am responsible for my train so it's my decision. Again, in the example the OP has given I'd have given the benefit of the doubt.

That doesn't mean that I'm a walkover though. I later came across two girls who were rather inebriated. The first one paid without question. Her (non-identical) twin sister baulked at the price and then tried to claim that she was 15. Had she been sober, I could have believed that she was 15. What sealed it though was that the two of them were telling all and sundry on the platform that their 18th birthday was last week. The first sister (who had paid the adult fare without question) did little to back the second up and after a few 'jobsworth' insults and a lot of moaning the second paid the fare. She was in tears on the phone to someone the next time I passed but I had no sympathy, she was a liar who got caught out by her own indiscretion.

At no point was I aggressive. Assertive, yes but never aggressive. Raised voices and shouting help no one.

The bit that made my day though was that when I went back to the cab after they'd left, a group of ladies commended me on the way I'd stood my ground and remained professional.

If I'm unsure whether or not someone is telling the truth, I give them the benefit of the doubt. I'd have done so in the OP's case.

youarenotkiddingme · 09/06/2019 07:24

Goch thank goodness for normal compassionate humans like yourself. As you rightly say and I said upthread people aren't necessarily lying and often it's just an easy misunderstanding.

Too many people assume everyone is pulling a fast one and see things in black and white.

I told my airport to home story above. I was just genuinely trying to get home and clearly wasn't trying anything on. I had a ticket!
It's put me off trains. But you've reassured me there are some human beings on board!

MarniLou · 09/06/2019 08:02

Wow, poor you OP you made a mistake, by buying the wrong ticket. Your train was delayed. It cost loads more money than you had planned to spend and you felt bullied by the inspector.

I feel the injustice in that.

Unfortunately by posting on here the sense of injustice must have increased and the bullying has continued. I hope you are ok OP?

A shocking way for posters to treat others.

I remember being involved in a case where a young refugee was taunted by others, video uploaded and shared. The judge involved concluded that not only was the young man bullied and abused at the time but again and again, every time that video was shared.
Certainly this isn't as serious as that incident and of course the OP chose to share, but this thread does feel very similar in the poster feeling bullied initially and the bullying continuing on here every time someone wades anonymously. Quite shameful. I'm sure ( or I certainly hope) this isn't how people treat each other in RL.

Sorry OP.

RussianDolls · 09/06/2019 10:17

I know.

And bullies always find a way to justify themselves.

ilovesooty · 09/06/2019 10:22

I suspect that without being there it isn't possible to to understand clearly what happened and the discrepancy between the thread title and the OP's complaints doesn't help.

However she didn't board the train with a valid ticket and I must say that her post yesterday morning reduced any positive reaction I might have had to her situation.

RUOKHUN · 09/06/2019 10:23

If you travelled with the same company I would look into getting a refund for the second train ticket.

I travelled with GWR a couple of weeks back on an advance ticket but the first train was delayed by 20 minutes so all subsequent elements of my journey were knocked back. I didn’t have to buy another ticket. I kindly explained to the ticket man that I would happily buy another ticket but that I would be looking for compensation as it was their delay that had caused me to be late in the first place. He did not fine me or issue me with another ticket. Discretion.

Having said that I was lucky that the whole journey was from one operator.

PCohle · 09/06/2019 11:28

Marni Are you seriously comparing a refugee being verbally abused to people disagreeing that the OP deserved to travel without charge after she specifically asked for people's opinions on the issue?

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