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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

... to offer some insight into being a wheelchair/mobility scooter user?

72 replies

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/06/2019 17:32

Following the thread that was deleted about scooters, I thought that perhaps there are some things that simply do not occur to those who don't use wheelchairs/powerchairs/scooters or do not know someone who does..

Do feel free to ask questions or offer thoughts, I can only speak for myself and close friends here!

Look down!

Wheelchair users and scooter users are lower down than you, if you look over your shoulder you won't see us (particularly chair users) so if you hear a voice saying 'excuse me' consider turning/looking down, that'd be ace.

Otherwise what tends to happen is I am not heard, the person steps back, hits their ankles on my wheels or footplate and sits on my lap - this is mortifying for them and painful for us both.

Look before you change lanes!

When walking along, before you suddenly stop, step out etc, look down/behind you please.

Power chairs and scooters don't have brakes as such, they stop when the user releases the accelerator and the motor stops turning the wheels - this is rarely instantaneous and even less so on a slope.
On a narrow pavement or path (and a path can appear wide but due to the surface or camber or obstacles it may not actually all be useable to the scooter or chair user), we can't go around you and you stop faster than we do, even if we are moving at under 4mph (my scooter is set to 2.5mph on pavements!).

If the alternative to hitting you is coming off a kerb, we are going to hit you, because coming off a kerb at an angle in almost all chairs and scooters is going to mean the machine tipping over and falling into traffic/off the pavement and believe me when I say, Im going to take your ankles out before I throw myself into traffic!

Don't have your headphones in whilst walking along - the pavements are for more than just pedestrians and wheelchairs and scooters make less noise and are less flexible in their movement than you are.
We do say 'excuse me', sometimes we will use the silly piddly 'bip bip' horn but its very quiet (I am planning a thoroughly illegal billion decibel klaxon for my next power chair!) - if you have rendered yourself deaf through using headphones you could be in for a surprise, particularly if you stop suddenly whilst unaware of what is behind you!

Manual chair users ONLY have their hands for brakes - this means if I've just completed a hard push and my hands are out in front of me, it is going to take me a couple of seconds to get my hands back on the wheels to stop - if it's wet my stopped distance is greater still.

Whilst it might sound sensible to say 'well move more slowly' the fact is with my arms/shoulders as my source of power, I need to build up momentum to counteract camber (yeah those flat pavements aren't actually flat, at all!) and to get up hills - once I've slowed down because you have decided to step in front of me and move at a snails pace, I've lost that momentum and can't get up the hill or, it's going to cause me a lot more effort and pain.

Doorways!

Sometimes, help is appreciated, but be aware I may need more room than you think and if your feet are in the way, it's going to hurt... Ask, and if the answer is 'no thankyou' then give the person space.

For a manual chair user opening a heavy door that opens towards me, I have to roll back and swing the door at the same time - if you are crowded behind me, I'm going to hit you, if I move so slowly to take your presence into account, I don't have the momentum to open the heavy door - so if the answer to 'can i help' is 'no thankyou' you can still be helpful by giving me the space to open the door!

Power chair users won't need to roll back so swiftly as the weight of their chair will out weight the door, but they still need space and cannot look behind them whilst at the same time trying to look forward and manage the door.

If double doors need opening, often the wheelchair user can hold one door open whilst you open the other, you rarely need to hold BOTH doors and most people really don't like trying to get under your armpit and try to avoid your feet whilst you try to lean over and do both doors at once!

Disabled toilets!

Whats on the floor goes on our wheels, which goes on our hands- manual chair users are rarely fond of child pee and toilet water all over the floor so if you have used the changing facilities in the disabled loo, be a sweetie and wipe the floor after you?!

Disabled toilet doors open outwards - manual chair users need to shove the heavy door HARD so it opens and they can roll out, pushing gently means the door weight pushes the chair back.

Do NOT stand outside a disabled toilet within range of the door, they are heavy, will knock a child flying and will hurt an adult. Certainly do not let your child lean up against the door if you don't want them to hear a ton of swear words and be sent flying when I struggle to get out!

Going down a nice smooth slope in a manual chair can be a ton of fun - please do not glare disapprovingly as I take my hands off the wheels and scream WHEEEEEE or POWERRRRRRR... we all get our kicks where we can!

Not all chair users are unable to stand/walk - I think this one IS becoming more widely understood now, in fact MOST chair users CAN stand briefly and many can walk v short distances. Please don't look surprised when I stand to reach something off a high shelf!

Oooh and, I appreciate people keeping toddlers out of the way, I really hate running them over as they make a lot of noise and mess in the wheels.... but you don't have to shout at them angrily and apologise to me for their mere existance several feet away, I'd rather kids WEREN'T terrified of looking at or even existing, within range of a wheelchair user.. we don't generally bite!
I do come across a lot of kids who stare, and for smalls thats fine, I don't mind and I am not offended, I might smile and wave or pull a silly face even - but SO many of them are shouted at, because I assume the parent is embarrassed that their child has looked at me... there is no need :) I won't burst into flames!

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 06/06/2019 17:41

I had to use a hired mobility scooter a few years ago on holiday, as my MS had flared up. Omg, never again the bloody thing was lethal. I crashed it into a stud wall in the hotel and the manager was really Nasty about it. Hated people commenting that 'last year I was running around' thanks for that.

flowersinthebedroom · 06/06/2019 17:54

Could I add, please don't park over dropped kerbs. Not even just to nip into the shop.

flowersinthebedroom · 06/06/2019 17:55

Sorry, I meant to add that it's an excellent post.

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/06/2019 17:55

Hire scooters are often AWFUL, not maintained well, never serviced. I can drive (or could before my shoulders started to deteriorate) my MASSIVE off road scooter round morrisons without accident or injury...

Morrisons own scooter... appears to wander where it pleases at whatever speed it pleases and seems to take half an hour to stop at times - never again, the thing is a total death trap!

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WiddlinDiddlin · 06/06/2019 17:58

@flowers YES!

I don't think people realise how scary it is trying to come off a kerb on some scooters, manual chairs etc.

Just a couple of inches can be impossible, I road tested a 7K power chair advertised as an outdoor/indoor off road chair a few weeks back - it would not safely come DOWN a two inch kerb. Most of the kerbs near me are at least 4 inches.

If you can get off one, getting back up again is often impossible and then you are stuck in the road, with traffic that doesn't expect you to be there, isn't actually looking for you or thinks that some how beeping their horns will magically make you able to get out of the road!

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flowersinthebedroom · 06/06/2019 18:00

Blimey, how scary being stuck in traffic, thankfully I haven't found myself in that situation.

lorit · 06/06/2019 18:04

Great post. I had to drive my mum's one some distance once and it was a nightmare. (Also, using it really hurt my hand after a while, which I wouldn't have expected.)

CremantDeLoireSocialist · 06/06/2019 18:06

Useful post OP, thank you.

I imagine that parking so as to partially block the pavement is a massive no as well?

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/06/2019 18:12

Yep, blocking pavements is a pain..

Manual chair and most electric chair users can turn around, find a way round..

Scooter users often cannot turn around in the space you have on a pavement, so they have to reverse back.. which isn't easy.

Also passing on narrow pavements - again the scooter user often cannot turn around or move out of the way, but the gang of people approaching don't want to step into the road or go back the way they came.. so then theres a problem! Add in walking dogs or more than one small child or the approaching person is doing same or has a pushchair or buggy...

Many of our pavements were not designed with more than one single pedestrian in mind - I can't wait for the day when wheeled bot delivery services take over and the world is FORCED to make everything much more wheel-friendly, and it will happen, because the likes of Amazon have money, where the disabled community does not!

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Deadheadstickeronacadillac · 06/06/2019 18:29

@WiddlinDiddlin I bloody love you for writing this!
Luckily I am now out of wheelchair following major surgery, but will never forget how tough it is.
Can I add that if a wheelchair user seems somewhat testy when saying excuse me, it is because it is the millionth time that day, not just that she is a grumpy cow. So please just shift and don't stand there being offended.
I have kept the wheelchair and use it with my students so they can get some idea of the difficulties...they don't get the gloves! Grin

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 06/06/2019 18:37

Are there any laws stopping people from parking on a dropped curve?

If a wheelchair user is in the wheelchair space on a bus, is it OK to ask politely if there is room for your pram too, or is that pushy? Or if you get off the bus with your pram to let them on, is it OK to ask? Twice the wheelchair user has said it's OK for me to get on too but then folded their footrest down to make space, I suggested I get off so they can have their footrest down, but they insisted it was OK. Would it be uncomfortable for them to have their feet dangling for a short journey eg 10 minutes?

If I'm queuing for a lift with a pram (or big suitcase) I would generally wave a wheelchair user in front of me when the lift came, I thought this was normal manners, but I've noticed other people not doing this. Is it helpful to do this?

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/06/2019 18:37

Thankyou @Deadheadsticker

Yep, thats me round Waitrose where seemingly everyone is deaf or unable to hear the words 'excuse me'... mind you I am also a grumpy cow with a proper case of resting bitch face! Grin

There ARE some perks which I will shamelessly enjoy - a nice downhill with no pedestrians around is fun.. waiting in queues is (unless its for the toilet) not an issue cos I'm sitting comfortably ta! It isn't all doom and gloom...

I wish we had more of a thing of offering 'wheelchair for a day' experiences here, it's done in the US but not here as its deemed patronising or not useful - I think it IS useful really, for lots of people - there is so much you just do not realise until you become a wheelchair user!

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MrsIronfoundersson · 06/06/2019 18:44

Very interesting OP, thank you. I often wonder how a wheelchair or scooter user would get around our village with its selection of narrow sloping pavements with cars parked all over them. I would not like to attempt it.

PerkingFaintly · 06/06/2019 18:54

Hopelessly, I'd be fine if you asked if there was room for a pram too.

Particularly if you ask in a way or tone that makes it clear you'll take "No" for an answer!

Can't speak for other people about the footrest – I'd probably be fine for 10 mins, but obviously it varies.

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/06/2019 18:55

@Hopelessly

As far as I am aware it is not legal to park on/over a dropped kerb, no.

Parking on pavements that are not dropped I think is a local by-law thing, legal in some places, not in others.

I'd always ask in your bus scenario, some people have foot rests they can fold away (my power chair does) and they can sit with feet dangling for a short while, for others they can't (my manual chair has a rigid footplate) or they would be in pain without it - as long as folk ask politely I don't mind at all if its possible.

I've even sat with a baby on my lap whilst a parent folded up a buggy (train) - but of course wheelchair users are like anyone else, some of us are saints Halo and some total twatbadgers!

Lifts - Oh I'd bloody love you if you let me on the lift first, sometimes I've had to wait (Meadowhall!!!!!) for five or six lifts because they are all full of prams, buggys, other wheelchair users etc, same in the hospital too!

Another thing I have found in lifts is people LEANING on scooters or power chairs (not so much manual chairs and mine is an active chair wiht a v low back and no push handles)... it should go without saying but ... don't sit or lean on someones scooter or powerchair LOL!!
A friend had this and she'd drive in forward so needed to reverse out.. but couldn't because some total twunt was leaning on the back of her scooter, bum wedged on the bag hung on the back!

Generally common sense a smile and consideration is vastly appreciated :)

OP posts:
PerkingFaintly · 06/06/2019 19:05

And it's extremely kind of you to wave wheelchair users into a crowded lift in front of you.

For me, it's a near run thing between prams and wheelchairs in lifts, since we do both need the space. But the pram user has probably had more choice about taking a large pram out shopping (don't get me started on "travel systems" larger than my wheelchair, with some teeny mite lost in the middle).

What does make me Angry in crowded lifts are perfectly fit people who stand there like lemons when they can see me unable to get on. I've had to dispatch my companion down the stairs to meet me at the bottom while I wait for 6 lifts to pass. Sure, some folk in the lift will need it because of invisible disabilities, but some won't...

PerkingFaintly · 06/06/2019 19:10

Getting on empty lifts when it's a wheelchair and a buggy or luggage... Well, it's a bit of packing puzzle...

Sometimes I wave luggage in first and ask if it can go to the side, so I can slot down the middle opposite the exit door. Sometimes I'll ask to go on first and turn, then have people fill in round me. Depends if there's a different exit from entrance door.

Just bear in mind
(1) I can't move directly sideways
(2) I'll take up a bit of space if I need to spin round with my handles at your crotch level.

PerkingFaintly · 06/06/2019 19:11

WiddlinDiddlin, thank you for this thread. Hope you don't mind that I'm chipping in on it.

PerkingFaintly · 06/06/2019 19:12

Generally common sense a smile and consideration is vastly appreciated.

This!

MummyParanoia101 · 06/06/2019 19:27

@PerkingFaintly You would think I was 'perfectly fit' to look at me but I have MS and can't cope with stairs. Very severe, chronic pain. Not all disabilities are visible Hmm

wildcherries · 06/06/2019 19:37

If a wheelchair user is in the wheelchair space on a bus, is it OK to ask politely if there is room for your pram too, or is that pushy?

I'd be fine with that, in fact, I will often also say it's fine before being asked if I can see it's a fit. But: if your (general you) child is in the pram, please please try to keep them from touching me. I know children can be curious, but I'm a person, not a thing to be 'discovered' by little hands. Makes me hugely uncomfortable, and it isn't just a child 'being friendly'.

Thanks for this thread, OP.

PerkingFaintly · 06/06/2019 19:40

Yep, which is why I said "Sure, some folk in the lift will need it because of invisible disabilities"

Joint pain will be another big one.

I don't assume any individual is fit. But for a big lift, not at a hospital, crammed with couples, is likely to have a fair few who could do as my companion has done: seen that we can't all get in and chosen to make way.

PerkingFaintly · 06/06/2019 19:42

And Flowers to MummyParanoia101. Chronic pain is shit, isn't it?

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/06/2019 19:49

@Perking - please do :D I certainly cannot speak for all of cripplekind :D

Very often unless i need the toilet (and might not make it!) or am rushing to a hospital appointment, I am happy to wait for lifts etc because I am sitting down, and I am well aware because I used to be one, that there are the invisible disabled in lots of pain, trying to stand up.

Invisible disabilities are a huge issue - I think .. just say?

I can't know if someone can't move if they simply stand there like a lemon and glare... of all my super powers, mind reading ain't one of them.

If you don't feel like you can I think there are wee key rings cards you can get that say something like 'I have an invisible disability and I can't /move/fly/perform street magic/wait for the loo' etc.

I do appreciate that in some respects simply the visual of 'a bloody great big wheelchair' helps me out enormously and does give me an advantage of those with no visually obvious disability.

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 06/06/2019 19:55

This shop has TONS of handy keyring cards, stickers, badges etc for those who want to communicate without starting an awkward conversation!

Some you can customise yourself if there isn't one that covers your needs!

stickmancommunications.co.uk/products/page/7/

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