AIBU to be a shocked at a parent leaving their 4 month old home alone for 10 minutes

[NotMyUsualNameNoSiree]

I overheard a conversation at school the other day, a mum was telling another mum how she left her young DD (4mo) at home while she picked up her DS (aged 5 or 6) from school.

I believe she lives around the corner and across the road from school, maybe 1 or 2 minutes walk. But pick-up would probably take 10 minutes in total to get the kid, get him ready, leave school premises and get home.

Of course I rationally know that no harm is likely to come to a 4mo left alone for ten minutes. But even if it's very very unlikely that anything bad would happen (to the baby, or the mum, or the older kid), it still gives me the chills to think about it.

Instinctively I want to say something, whether to her or the school. But I don't know if I'm being over cautious.

[Myimaginarycathasfleas]

I don't think this would be seen as an issue by my DM's generation (1950/60s childhood). Babies were routinely parked outside in their prams for the fresh air while their mothers were out of sight and sound.

I wouldn't do it myself, but neither do I see it as a heinous crime, as long as it was literally round the corner and across the road.

[MorondelaFrontera]

herculepoirot2
We are not in court, it doesn't matter to me what you believe or not.

But look, there are threads about leaving a baby in the garden. I personally think my baby is much safer in his bedroom and I would never have left one of mine in the garden alone, even if I was keeping an eye on the window.
Many posters completely disagree with me. Read the threads, and realise your opinion is really not shared by everybody.

[herculepoirot2]

MorondelaFrontera

And as I said, that doesn’t matter. If I find it shocking that someone would leave a tiny baby alone in the house and do the school run, I’ll say so.

[Zbag]

Yanbu and I would inform the school and SS.

[Dorsetdays]

Some of the professionals I know in careers mentioned here are the most laid back parents of all my friends and absolutely see nothing wrong in leaving a sleeping DC alone for 10 mins, whether that’s to put the bins out, clean the car or have a drink in the back garden. Or even pop to the post box on the corner or collect something urgent from the corner shop etc

Does that mean they would advise others to do that in their professional capacity? Of course not.

[MorondelaFrontera]

herculepoirot2
it's not your opinion I am shocked about, it's the fact that you want to report a mother to the school, SS because you don't agree with her choices.

[herculepoirot2]

MorondelaFrontera

My opinion is that SS should know this is happening.

[BertrandRussell]

I would actually like to know how a social worker would deal with a case of a parent with no other concerns leaving a 4 month old safely in their cot for 10 minutes.

[Dorsetdays]

Do you also report your neighbours if you observe them sitting in their garden for an hour without checking their DC as regularly as you think they should then? 🤔

[herculepoirot2]

BertrandRussell

Go round and check on them? Give her/them a warning about how inappropriate this is? Weigh and examine baby with HV in tow?

[herculepoirot2]

Dorsetdays

Me?

[Teaandcake1000]

Whathappenedtothelego
Yes I agree.

Also it worth mentioning that the OP said she heard the parent trying to justify it, so I’d say she doesn’t feel ok about it so those who are saying she’s happy to trot out and leave the baby are probably wrong.

[Dorsetdays]

Hercule. Yes, you. By your reckoning any parent who leaves a DC alone for 10 minutes needs reporting to SS because it’s about the potential for risk.

[TheGoogleMum]

It's probably fine in reality but feels wrong. I have been tempted when the baby is napping to nip to the shop around the corner but wouldn't do it!

[herculepoirot2]

Dorsetdays

I don’t think you have read what I actually said. Feel free to do that.

[LJS79]

It is completely neglectful.
Those asking what could happen what about house fire?
Or the baby waking up just after mum has left? 10 mins is a long time to leave a baby crying.
I would report it to social services, I think you can do anonymously if you're concerned.
If you have misheard and she left baby with someone then it can be cleared up no harm done.

[JacquesHammer]

The most amusing thing on this thread is all the professional people who posters conveniently know do this too

[Coop14]

Think a bit ott to report it in my opinion and also you don't know the full facts ie someone could be with the baby. X

[Dorsetdays]

Hercule. I read what you posted. You would report someone to SS for leaving their child alone for 10 minutes.

[herculepoirot2]

Dorsetdays

Then you have not grasped the point.

[herculepoirot2]

Coop14

In which case they are fine and don’t need support.

[Dorsetdays]

Hercule. I think I totally have 😊

[VelvetSpoon]

I did leave my DC at home asleep, alone, once only, for 5 mins or so whilst I nipped to the shop. I was a single parent at the time and I can't remember what I had to get but I think it was something essential like nappies or milk. In those days there was no late night shopping where we lived, shops closed at 6. Certainly no 24hr supermarkets etc. The reason I say this is because it was 100% a one off. I had no one to sit with DS, if I'd woken him he would have needed feeding/ changing and it would have taken me 30-40 mins to be ready to leave. I didn't feel great about it and I never did it again - I made sure that going forward we never ran out of anything overnight.

I would worry in the case of this mum that having done it once (not in an emergency) she might again. But I wouldn't report her for a one off.

On the you might have an accident point, I did consider that. But I felt the risk of going to a shop at the top of my road, about 30 houses from my front door was actually safer and less risky than walking down my spiral stairs at home. If id ever fallen down the stairs I wouldn't have been checked on for days as I only had 1 next door neighbour (who was away for weeks at a time), no family or partner, and my friends only saw me once a week or so. At least if I'd had an accident in the street someone would have found me quickly.

[herculepoirot2]

Dorsetdays

You haven’t. I have said that I would not report someone leaving their child in their room while they hung the washing out, or similar, because to me, the concerning thing is how willing they are to leave the child completely alone in the house, not the fact that they are not with the child constantly.

[MorondelaFrontera]

The most amusing thing on this thread is all the professional people who posters conveniently know do this too

hilarious

I have professional friends and neighbours who walk their dogs leaving baby asleep. I am not sure how convenient that is. I just happen to see them and chat when I am walking my own dogs.

Do you go out much?