To ask what age you started to feel invisible?

[goodluckandgodspeed]

Having never been very attractive anyway I found that basically once I hit 30 I became basically invisible, once the dewy glow of youth had gone.
Now I’m 36 and totally invisible, although being a sahm probably doesn’t help because I’m adding nothing of any use to society either!
I feel nothing is aimed at you once you get older - music, tv, fashion. It’s all for young people.
Is this just me that feels like this?

It’s my kids that have aged me.
It’s a combo of boredom, plus being ‘just mum,’ plus someone asking me for something every two minutes, plus dealing with bodily functions, plus ds has SEN and even at 10 I’m STILL dealing with his toilet issues.
Basically: they’ve ruined my life. And I’m only half joking.

(mostly) I like being invisible. Slipping under the radar is mostly good.

One exception... I don't like feeling politically alienated. Like, I was on losing side in 20616 so I am supposed to silent forever more. I am most certainly not one of 'The People'.

If OP is talking things maternal & social standing... I am more confident in my Death Stare than ever. This role is GREAT. I am thinking the biggest personalities in our team at work are women in their late 50s (I work in business intelligence). There are plenty men in their 30s & 40s but the the women are Boss.

Doing paid work creates self esteem, self esteem creates visibility.

Op I can’t understand how you think you aren’t contributing to society by being a SAHP. Your doing a really important job. Society benefits from all sorts of good parents who help create well adjusted children. Makes me sad when people put themselves down for choosing to be a SAHP. You are not invisible. You might not be a wippersnapper anymore but that’s not what life is about. You contribute.

Thesuzle- paid work is not the only work that creates self esteem.

Paid work only creates self esteem if you enjoy it or find a sense of purpose from doing it - either because you have to or want to.

I am nearly 40, I choose not to work and I fill my time doing whatever I like - seeing friends, mumsnet, instagram, watching films and tv, going out to places, etc etc. I love being at home and I don’t feel irrelevant at all (I used to have a very high earning job and I hated it). That’s kind of irrelevant to the thread but I can’t stand it when everyone’s answer to everything is to go back to work!

Op I do think having young children just zaps the life out of you. My eldest is now 16 and she keeps me pretty young!

Define invisible.

If you mean lack of male attention then probably same as you OP, 30, if not less.

Am now 50 and would disagree that music/fashion/tv is all aimed at young people. It isn't, but you need to make an effort to get into new music - it won't necessarily be what's on the Capital playlist, but i still think your never too old to find new artists or bands

Nearly 38 here and I am in my prime! I look much better now than I did when I was in my 20's.

I don't care if I am invisible to men at all though.

So, I started to feel invisible when I got pregnant with DS, so 20. And stayed invisible throughout my marriage. However since being widowed I have noticed men taking an interest - even if they don't know me or my situation. I still wear my wedding and engagement rings, as well as DH's cremation ring. So it's not that my lack of ring is giving anything away. I have concluded that I am probably no more visible than I was a few months ago, but am noticing it more because I'm feeling vulnerable. I wonder if the invisibility only works because we are secure in our identities, but when something happens to change that we start to notice men being flirty - I don't know but it's my working theory at the moment.

t isn't, but you need to make an effort to get into new music - it won't necessarily be what's on the Capital playlist, but i still think your never too old to find new artists or bands
I completely agree with this.
Finding new bands to listen and see is one of my biggest downtime fillers!!

Agree with the young kids thing, I'm invisible pushing my double buggy apart from the odd heckle (I run with it quite a lot!).
I'm 40 and got beeped at when I went for a drink locally last week 26 years since I first had that from a white van man, wonder if it's part of the job description. Although one did tell me to "fuck off you posh cunt" the other day when I called him out for blocking the pavement, charmer.
I've spent the last three years pregnant or breastfeeding so I've been following some Instagram accounts to get my style inspiration, had a decent new haircut and lost a bit of weight, starting to feel myself again... the main thing will be going back to work later this summer though.

Heading for SIXTY here (shock horror) NEVER feel/felt invisible... i feel engaged/engaging - have no idea whether I'm 'woke'/aware of latest 'trends' as you only know what you know don't you iycwim... but I go and see stuff/do stuff/work part-time with 'interesting' people/i get glances (no idea if they're 'admiring' or not!) I think a lot of it is in the head

LaPufalina... "F-off you posh...." and they say romance is dead

I wouldn't say I feel invisible (yet) at 49 but it can take longer to 'win' people over. Not that I'm consciously trying to win people over but at work for example. I see people in their 30s as potential friends. They ''other'' me and see an older woman. Which is natural I guess. It feels like being invisible.
As for men, not sure. I never got the attention of the men I wanted. I only ever got the attention of the worst men. I can't say that that has got any WORSE over the years.

42. Totally invisible. Had a nice chat with a young chap in Costa today though.

When you say everything is aimed at young people, all of that stuff is so ''marketed''. The stuff I'm interested in isn't marketed stuff. I'm meandering about metaphorically finding my own passions and interests. Older people can't be told what to buy/wear/read/listen to and this is so exciting. You become more yourself when you're not a slave to what's ''aimed at you'' (because of your AGE)

Just read through, just to let you know I didn't mean invisible to men, I just meant wading through life without feeling I was even there. By the way OP read Roar by Cecilia Ahern. Is a book of short stories titled e.g. the woman who ... some are funny, some sad, nearly all of them I was thinking 'whoa! That's how I felt/feel and it was a light read. Honestly do x

Not yet. 47. Short, slightly curvy. I really do believe it's a state of mind.

Then again, I've always been an acquired taste, so I'm used to not being widely noticed.

I became invisible at about 29.

Although an elderly man smiled at me in the supermarket today...totally made my day...just that another human smiled at me for no reason....

Left abusive ex and feel better every day too.

I'm 59. Not invisible at all.

I'm mid 50s and am not, and have never been either invisible or irrelevant.
I've seen the phrase on MN every now and then but not something I've ever encountered, nor anything I've ever heard mentioned in any of the groups of friends / family / colleagues / people I share a hobby with that I chat to.

I feel invisible at 41 and have done for several years. I think the feeling of invisibility is heavily impacted by who else you see around you every day. I work in a large multinational company. 80% of the people in my building are in their 20s or early 30s. I regularly hear them laughing about "getting old" when they reach 25. I am the shy reliable type. I get on with my job, people know I do it well yet I seem to be totally invisible when there is some kind of perk, something exciting to get involved in or social activity. activity
I'm not hideous for my age (still no wrinkles and have kept an ok-ish figure!) but think they just see me as the old boring invisible mum.

Nobody is invisible, unless they are a super hero

Men stopped looking at me when I got to about mid 40’s.