To not want a night out, ever

[overthehorizon]

I have a toddler and a job so I'm exhausted. I wake up exhausted and pass out at nine every night.

So why does everyone expect me to want to go out in the evenings? Why? Is it obligatory? Anybody else just want to be in bed by nine?

I'm supposed to be going out on Sat, have a babysitter and everything and I'm dreading it.

My favourite evening out is post work drinks. In the pub by 5.30, stay til 8/9, home at 9/10, in bed soon after. Currently on mat leave with an EBF baby so can't go out anywhere without him!

I don't even have a child and I don't want a night out!

I'm passed those days, and just do not enjoy it anymore.

However, its the thing society expects. When others deem it to be important, its hard to understand why you'd miss out on it

Agree 100%. Still love to socialise but would prefer friends for dinner, afternoon bbq, pub quiz with mates, casual dinner with DH and home by 10 than a ‘night out’ any day. Constant hen weekend invites kill me!!

Just cancel and snuggle up. You have one life, live it how you want to.

I remember feeling like this, but you do come out the other side at some point and for me it was about keeping in touch with friends while I was in that exhausting stage of life. If it's just drinking then I wouldn't have fancied that either, but dinner and chat with adults? Every now and again it's really nice and you don't have to stay all night. Book a cab home for 11 and you'll have shown your face and chatted with everyone. You don't have to stay out until 3am.

Why does going out have to include alcohol? It isn't required to have fun!

But I agree Op. Staying in is fun too, especially if you have a little one.

Yanbu. I actually punch the air with joy if a ( rare ) night out is cancelled at the last minute.

Nah - I love a good night out. I had one last night and will have two next week! I have two children 5 and 2.6 years.

@omione who on earth says 'voddie'? 🤢

Well, each to their own and all that, but I would go absolutely nuts if I couldn't have at least a few nights out every month. I expect some of you are natural early risers - which would explain why you want to go to bed earlier, as well: I'm much more of a nocturnal creature.

Though I really can't be doing with the weird concept that there is something morally superior about going to bed (and getting up) early.

My SAHM friends like going out, suspect it’s because they have more leisure time and energy generally (school age DC)

I complete understand.
I'm currently pregnant so no nights out for me im making the most of any sleep i can get haha! But even before I got pregnant, before I worked on weekends, I still didn't want a night out. I stopped drinking years ago too I honestly think I just grew out of that phase in my life. I don't miss it either!

I find it really important to go out and socialise and maintain friendships and interests. Even if exhausted, I need to have my life as me as well as mum. Yes I love bedtime with my son too, but I also love a night off doing it where I can go out and enjoy myself and think it is good dad gets to do bedtime too.

I aim for balance.

Another factor might be how much adult company you actually get. If you are a SAHM and all your interaction is toddler groups, I'd expect you to want to go out a bit more in the evenings. But if you spend your days dealing with lots of people, maybe you wwant more peace and quiet at night. I suppose.

Well you never know, sometimes a break with routine energises you.

I’ve lost all interest in nights out . I’m fairly sociable too, but coffees, lunches and long walks are where it’s at for me just now. I’m happy with that - I love nothing better than a cosy family evening in my PJs.

I like going out to dinner but have gone off going out for drinks, concerts, parties etc. DC are 17 & 14 now and i’ve been like this for at least a decade.

I was EXACTLY like this with young children. However a blood test for a completely unrelated reason discovered a massively under active thyroid. Very common post partum.
If you are concerned about the tiredness .. check it out. !!

I am the same, now my youngest is 4, I think I'd like to start going out again, for brunch, dinner, during DCs baby/ toddler years I didn't maintain friendships.
If it a good friend it is good to force yourself, I wouldn't mind on the rare occasion I go, I always really enjoy it.

I've been in my nightie since 3.30pm

You're preaching to the converted

Well shit what’s wrong with you all? I’m 48 I have a DD7, I work and commute into Central LOndon and in the last 6 months I’ve been out all over the shop - exhibitions, theatre , ballet, concerts, cinema, dinner cocktails etc. Oh and I average 4 - 5 hours sleep a night because of the bloody perimenopause. You only pass this way once ladies.

Of course Twirlypoo didnt say she had children with her but then again she didnt say she was on her own

I'm nearly always in bed by 9. Sometimes 8. Single mum of 3 and exhausted by 7pm. I could quite happily never go out again either. Book and bed is bliss.

@omnione I assume twirlywoo is at boozy lunch with friends while father looks after children. Or with dh while grandparents watch children.

I doubt the options are boozy lunch alone or with husband and children.

I love boozy lunches. Once I get home it’s so difficult to get the motivation to leave again. Happy to have people over to mine though