To think DP was DISGUSTING to do this

[Spiceupyourlife]

So settle a difference of opinion for me.
I think DP is disgusting... he thinks I’m over reacting as about to get married and very stressed.

Today DP was was off work and I was WFH. Asked him to have a tidy as cleaners were coming. He did... but not well... or happily 🙄

So he goes out to run errands and I hear the cleaners arrive. Run into bathroom to check it’s not awful. There’s a sodden toilet roll holder on the floor of the bath and a pair of pants on the floor (DP’s) grab them both and dispose of - carry on WFH

30 mins pass and suddenly I realise ... 🤔 why was it wet? I’d taken a bath and DP had taken a shower (which we keep the empty toilet rolls next to) so assumed it had been that.

Nope, DP just told me that the cat had knocked it into the toilet - instead of taking it to the bin DP had thrown the sodden remains on the floor of the bath- for the cleaners to deal with!

He now claims he didn’t intend he cleaners to deal with it- he threw it in the bath ‘to dry’ 🤔😡

I think it’s lazy and disgusting to not throw something covered in toilet water directly in the bin! It didn’t even cross my mind he would leave it in the bath!

So I spent about 30 minutes sat with toilet water on my hands without realising! I touched my mouth several times and now very worried I’ll get sick!!!

I am a huge germaphobe with OCD! DP knows this!!

You'll be fine, urine won't hurt you unless it is infected.

You're not unreasonable to be annoyed, I would be too. They just don't listen or care, do they?

A bit gross but you’ve massively overreacted

There is no way I would have touched a toilet roll centre that was sodden through without washing my hands, irrespective of what was on it!

I think your different attitudes to germs, cleanliness and tidying up could be a long term problem in your relationship.

Given you are diagnosed with OCD, it was a but odd he did that.

Even odder that you dodnt feel the need to wash your hands after picking his pants up, since you are germaphobe.

I'd be annoyed too - it's a loo roll not the frigging Dead Sea Scrolls, just bin it!

Do you mean the cardboard bit from the middle of the toilet roll? If so why do you keep it next to the shower and not put it straight out for recycling or in the bin?

I doubt if flushed toilet water on your hands is going to make you sick.

Well , he should have thrown it in the bin, of course. But you are way overreacting. Toilet water is just water. It won’t harm you. You didn’t swallow it. And it wouldn’t harm you if it had.

@holdthe

I’ve had to really pull back on washing my hands as I’d become obsessed with it and have ruined my hands. They had to the point of being so cracked/ bleeding all the time. I’ve been having to sleep covered in lotion.

Eh you'll be fine but I don't blame you for being annoyed.

Being honest I'm a bit disappointed, I was expecting something terrible. YABU it's a bit of toilet water in a bath.

He's a lazy bastard. I don't have OCD, but I would be unhappy about him doing that, and what it said about his attitude to the cleaner.

You are overreacting. I’m sure with your wedding coming up he has quite a bit on him mind just as you do.

Question: how would you feel if you husband to be asked you to have a tidy as the cleaners were coming?

It's annoying and horrible but I'd agree this is going to be a big stumbling block for both of you, if you clean before a cleaner comes and he dumps clothes and a just out of a toilet toilet roll, I think there's interesting times ahead!!!

Who normally picks up his pants off the bathroom floor?

Lazy fucker

toilet water is the same water which comes out of the tap and we drink, it just happens to sit in a toilet rather than the sink. It's fine. Agree with an above poster that it's a bit weird you keep empty toilet rolls next to the shower instead of just taking them to the recycling when you go downstairs - is that also left top the cleaners to deal with?

@streetwise

🤔 Hmm I’m not sure. I mean I’ve tidied for the cleaners the every single other time they’ve come (on a weekly basis for the last 6 months) but nobody has ever asked me how I feel about it- and DP seems to think the cleaners pick up all of his shit!

So 🤔

@streetwise

I also do 90% of the house work and have planned/ managed the big wedding which he thought was ‘really important’ we have.

After he announced to me the other day that he ‘does the majority of the housework’ I thought he might not mind me asking HIM to move all the mess he creates so the cleaners can do their job!

But no... I mean it was probably me being too hard on him

🙄😂

If I was paying good money for a cleaner I'd expect everyone to pick up their shoes and junk and clear the decks a bit so the cleaner could spend their time cleaning instead of moving stuff around. and it is gross to leave wet underwear in the bath when you know someone is coming to clean it. (unless you thoughtfully place some tongs by the side of the bath of course!) At the same time.. if you asked him not to do it again and said why, its not so terrible and worth moving on from.

Of course he should have binned it, any normal human being would have I think! (as long as you do have a bin in your bathroom, apparently some people don't).

I am bit surprised that your immediate reaction after disposing of a WET toilet roll is not to wash your hands.

If you don't tidy up before the cleaners, they have less time to clean - there's no rule, but it depends what you employ them for really.

My lovely cleaner used to be there to receive my online shop and put it away for us, that had made some posters on here in a complete rage for some bizarre reason!

Leaving pants on the floor is completely crap and indicates a very disrespectful attitude towards you. It's not just lazy and scuzzy, it's deliberately degrading - since he clearly thinks you or a cleaner is going to pick up after him. You actually. Cleaners don't tidy. Do you want to be his maid for the rest of your life?

Toilet roll thing is odd. Just put it in the bin, either bathroom or main recycling. Again, it's just the 'lowest effort' response, making it very visible, expecting someone else to deal with it.

(I would have washed my hands after handling dirty pants though and I'm not an excessive hand-washer).

Why would you clean for the cleaners? Is that not what you hire cleaners for?
It’s a bit odd but maybe he just panicked and threw it in there

Are you sure you want to marry this man? He does seem to consider you more of a servant than an equal partner, and men with that mindset get worse affter the wedding, on the whole, not better.

YANBU - it was completely gross (and rude) of him to leave wet pants and toilet roll tube lying around (for someone else to deal with...). Even more disgusting when cleaner is coming.

So I spent about 30 minutes sat with toilet water on my hands

How long does it take your hands to dry?!